You need time to heal

@SunnyDays (1071)
Bahamas
September 14, 2006 7:20am CST
between relationships...there is nothing cute about aggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. Do you agree ?
1 person likes this
40 responses
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
16 Sep 06
I agree that you should give yourself time to heal before you start a new relationship. I am one of those that dont seem to do that and my relationships just dont seem to work out. If you havent dealt with your feelings from that realationship it will all resurface if something with the new one gets you down. I have the habit of burying my feelings deep inside me and then when I least expect it im hurting again from it. But I can say this honestly that its harder to do than what alot of people think.
@imlex1 (116)
17 Sep 06
definitely,,when we are with someone they bring out a different us and give us worse or better personality traits,,it just happens,,when that relationship comes to an end it seems like a lost limb,,something is missing,,,yes,it is them but also that part of us that they brought out,without them we are just not the same,people need time to recover and feel like themselves again and this proccess can take months and in some cases years but if this time isnt taken how can we expect to give someone who we really are,they are dating a shell of what was left of the 'us' the ex left behind,never good.you hear all the verse about 'get strong,be yourself,get to know the real you' and it all sounds so DR Phil but lets face it,,pun or no pun it is true.
1 person likes this
@Aali311 (6127)
• United States
17 Sep 06
I agree, it's the only way to get over the last person you were with.
1 person likes this
@xmom99 (7)
• United States
17 Sep 06
Yes, I agree. It's hard enough to have a relationship and keep it together if you're still holding onto past hurts. Been there, done that twice. It takes time, just hang in there, it will happen.
1 person likes this
@amiksinha (1961)
• India
16 Sep 06
i agree with u.. u shd deal with your issue
1 person likes this
@Lillith (775)
• United States
16 Sep 06
I could not agree with this more!! In my line of work, I speak to a large percentage of people who are just coming out of a bad relationship, or who are just considering ending one. Nearly all of them want to know when the next person is coming for them. The argument begins when I tell them they must heal before they are ready to begin a new relationship. Some of these are women who are in very bad relationships, but refuse to leave them unless they have another one to jump right into. This is a desperate response. You must first learn to live with yourself before trying to live with another person, and learning to be independent actually HELPS the next relationship be more successful. Lillith
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 06
Yes I agree with you 100%. There is no way anyone can have a good relationship with a new person when he/she holding on to the garbage from his/her last relationship.
1 person likes this
@slimfox (900)
• United States
15 Sep 06
yes you need to pick yourself back up and figure out who you are and what you really want.
1 person likes this
@Sunset50 (1397)
• United States
14 Sep 06
This is so true. Also giving yourself time to heal will help you put the situation in the right respective to avoid the same problems the next time.
1 person likes this
@chalmette69 (3010)
• United States
14 Sep 06
I agree, I think you should deal with any issues you have before starting a new relationship, don't bring along all the old to the new.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep 06
Yes definately agree
@aBatya (10)
• United States
11 Oct 06
very very TRUE
@bfa731 (409)
• United States
27 Oct 06
Theres nothing worse than going on a first or second date with a person and having to listen to all their current problems they have with old relationships. Its discouraging in that you become involed in their problems and that can only lead to trouble.
@Bettyann (2486)
• United States
27 Oct 06
i agree
• United States
26 Oct 06
at least you need time to collect yourself and rediscover yourself. most people loose a bit of themselves in a relationship. Take the time to rediscover your own footing.
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
26 Oct 06
What floors me, is people who move from one Relationship right into another. They never seem to Step back and examine the situation, and see where they failed this one. Some become so codependant on needing someone around they never Stop to think for themselves. Yes, time alone to think is the best thing you can do when confronted with this. There is nothing wrong with being alone from time to time.
• India
24 Oct 06
yes. I need time
@zuri25 (2127)
• United States
24 Oct 06
I don't agree completely. No matter what, we all come with our own baggage. Sometimes that baggage can be healed only through the companionship of a lover. "Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship" is easier said than done.
@skam0de (36)
• Singapore
24 Oct 06
Baggage baggage baggage. Everyone has baggages, be it small or big. You just can't unpacked it. Dealing with one's issue is not an easy matter. You love someone, you take them with their baggages, like how when you're married or staying together, they do still bring along their belongings. If you can't deal it with yourself, deal it together. Sometimes, two minds works d best. It won't go away, issues will always be there.
• Romania
23 Oct 06
sure its right,some of us need 1 week some of us need over 1 year or much more
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
23 Oct 06
Yes, I agree. My daughter had an extremely bad first marriage. She rushed right from it into another one which seemed better, but isn't. She should have waited to heal in between.