What should my friend do???

@Rashu169 (4391)
India
December 2, 2006 6:41am CST
One of my dear friend is in love and this guy is also very good and lovs her too....but now her parents want her to marry the guy of their choice who is not only financially sound but also is known to her parents well.....she is not sure what to do bcoz the guy whom she loves is still not earning and her parents are also dislike the guy whom she loves... She is asking meas what she should do...how should she handle this situation...i dont know what to suggest her...
2 people like this
39 responses
• United States
2 Dec 06
Wow that is a hard one. In the country I live in it is acceptable for one to choose their own mate but I realize it is custom in other places to go with prearranged marriages. I lean more toward the one she loves but she must decide if her commitment and respect to her parents is enough. I would hope they would only select someone they thought would be compadable as well as financially sound. I wish her much luck with her decision.
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
yeah...
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
4 Dec 06
yeah it is a big problem...and so confusing too...
@sand102 (368)
• India
3 Dec 06
he has make a decision by its own without any fair
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
well...life is tough and also 100% LOVE cannot and will not coincide
@taraka (717)
• India
3 Dec 06
ASK her to go accordin to her mind
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
well/......it says 50 - 50 for her....thats why she asked me for my help
• India
3 Dec 06
i think ur friend must marrry the chooice of her parent.....and not the guy whom she loves...........i know its little bit difficult but she has to...........acc to me she should not hurt her parents..............if she really love her parents then i dont think so she will marry her love ...........i have seen rarely 10% of love marrige success.........rest alll suffers.............so parents r one who think of our best............now all depends on ur friend..........ur friend cant change her destiny what has been written by god has been written now no one can change her future neither her parents and nor she herself........
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
yeah... i have told her to read the comments...let see...what she says
@m4riu5 (21)
• Romania
3 Dec 06
her parents shoud not mix into her life she should decide what is beast for her. marriage is a importatn thing, don`t let her parents destoy it.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmm...but ...well i have asked her to go thru this discussions
@wwfn2223 (109)
• United States
3 Dec 06
She should follow her heart. Just because everyone tells her to marry this one does not mean you have to. She needs to sit down and really think on her feelings for this other guy. and after doing that if she really does love him. i say stick with the one you love. In this world you get one chance at being truly happy do not blow it because of what her parents thinks. Always follow your heart.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
well...thanks...i have asked her to read the comments
• India
3 Dec 06
if he really loves u and if he is able to see u properly go with him.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
yeah....but i feel she should go with her parents
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
i think the parents is only making sure that their daughter will marry a guy that will make her suffer someday...arrange marriage is common in some asian countries like india and china... no one can decide to that situation except the affected ones. To the girl, try to think of the pros and cons to ur parents offer coz i know parents only wants the best of their child.. and try to make sure if the that certain "rich guy" is also inlove to the girl, if not why should marry..go with what ur hearts says.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
yeah...but wont it ....
• India
3 Dec 06
its for her to decide whether she wants to marry the person she loves or the one her parents endorse bcoz at the end of the day its she who is gonna spend the rest of her life with and it should be her prerogative to chose who she wants to spend her rest of the life so what i'ld suggest to her is to think hard about her future and come to decision so that if something goes wrong(god forbid) she must not repent that she was not the one to decide her fate
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
heart or mind...
@yorb24 (2181)
• United States
3 Dec 06
Well I'd tell my parents that I have to live my life for myself and not them. She is the one who has to be married to the guy and not them. Would they really want her to be unhappy in her own marriage? I hope not.
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
but really...isnt their love anything????????
@sammy1128 (241)
• China
3 Dec 06
if your friend do love the the guy,she should tell her parents,meanwhile she should ask the guy to find a job if he want to marry herlater.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
well...he is still studying
@cr1st1nel (3567)
• Romania
3 Dec 06
The old problem with the marriage for the social situation and money. I think i would marry the one which it is not so rich but i'll marry him just because i love him and this is really the moast important part in a marriage.Don't to tell that if i marry the one i love in time we would make a good social situation but if she will mary the another one just because he is a rich person in time she will destroy her life and finally she will get the divorce.This is my opinion
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmmm...yeah...but does love stays always???????????
@j27366 (294)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
is your friend earning her own money already, and is she still young? if the answer is yes, then i suggest that your friend don't go on with marriage yet. request her parents to wait a little more time, say a few more years, so the man she is in love with will have enough time to finish his studies and look for a permanent job so he can prove to her parents that he is worth waiting for. but if your friend is already at the stage that she should marry now, and not earning so well, i guess she should listen to her parents. love is not everything to have a good married life. finances really play a part to maintain a healthy marriage. love can be developed especially if the guy is a loving, understanding, and respectful person.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmm...well her parents dnt want to w8 that long and then again....so many other issues are there
@ru88en (2998)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
This is a common life situation. I can't think of any other best solution as this. Go where you will be happy and you will never regret your decision.
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
yeah...life is difficult...isnt it??????
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
3 Dec 06
her husband is her choice, not her parents. She doesn't need her parents consent. If her parents truly loved her, they would let her marry who she wants. It is her decision...besides the fact that SHE has to live with the guy for the rest of her life, not her parents.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmmm...well
@reulin (101)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
practically nowadays, you need to use your brain instead of the heart, 'coz as everybody say, that sooner or later if you marry the guy/gal that you don't love eventually as time passess by, you'll love him/her back twice as much as you love the guy/gal you really wanted..did you get it? What i'm trying to say is that, you have to think of the future a lot more than you think of your feelings. Because 100% LOVE cannot and will not coincide with the attitude or the personality of a person. If you met him/her as to what they are right now, they will be forever like that. Yes they will change a little bit just to prove that they love you but, BUT, the traits that they have before you met them is much stronger than you think. No matter what, if you've love the guy/gal because you think, see and feel that they love you too, but then again you're aware of his "laziness" then soon after you marry that person, he'll/she'll be the same and soon, soon you'll be fighting for that "laziness" alone. Then you'll broke up and waht do you get? nothing! but you'll be broken hearted, devastated and guilty because you did not believe your parents before, right? You see, though some parents do bad things on their kids sometimes, still generally and instinctly, parents will do everything in order to help their children turn out good too and not just good but they think of their future blessings someday. Don't you think you'll do the same thing when you had one someday? You'll be a good mom/ father if you know how to respect your parents decision. Go talk to them and commuinicate what you want and ask them if the guy/gal they want is really a good person and not just because they have the MEANS...you know for a living..
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
100% LOVE cannot and will not coincide...how true...
@Ambur25 (1007)
• United States
3 Dec 06
She should always follow her heart, not her wallet. In any case, love conquors all.
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
does it really?????????in todays world????????? i doubt that
• United States
3 Dec 06
Money isn't everything. She would be stuck in a loveless marriage for her parents sake? They need to back off and let her live her own life. I hope she chooses to stay with her true love.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmmm...but...
• Pakistan
3 Dec 06
my friend love with a gal and onces night he kiss her
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
huh???????????
@carmat (2850)
• Canada
3 Dec 06
I like true love but you have to ask why isn't the guy earning any money, is this a life long problem or will he eventually be able to support your friend. Maybe she should explore the relationship with this other man, she may be surprised at what may develop if she allows it.
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
3 Dec 06
but her parents wants to marry her early