Rough childhood!

@baysmummy (1639)
Australia
December 4, 2006 4:45am CST
It really annoys me, Since i have joined mylot i see so many people who blame the way they are now and how bad their life has become on how their parents brought them up and what happened to them when they were growing up! When are people going to take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming other people? By no means did i have a prefect childhood, i had a dad who abandoned me, a mum who would rather ignore me and push me away then listen to me, a uncle who raped me and my best friend at the time, but thats not all but all i will say for now and i am sick and tired of people saying "Oh you had no idea how i was brought up or you didnt have parents like mine" Alot of us had a hard rough childhood but some people seem to think they can use this as can excuse for their own messed up life!
16 people like this
147 responses
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
4 Dec 06
im sorry to hear of your childhood. Yes, people should take responsiblity for there life but as a child , your parents are to be there and mold you into a great adult. its hard for those that have a bad childhood to understand how to be a better person. but when old, yes, they are to have responsiblity for how there life then turns out. Making excuses and blaming someone else does not make there lifes better. doing the action and working on themselfs does.
@tmnjyk (3487)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
hi there! just want to let you know that the guy who copied my started discussion before...now copied your discussion. Look at this link http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/379222.aspx
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I really don't know of very many people that have had a great child hood. None of them commited crimes or abused any one as a result of it. Too many people blame their decisions on their parents and refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. this seems to be a generation of what ever I do it's some one elses falt?
2 people like this
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thanks for commenting!
@simyss (125)
• Singapore
5 Dec 06
I am sorry about your childhood. Sometimes I really complain to my parents about my messed up life... but that's human nature and children are spoilt by their parents nowadays. Bless you. =)
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Dec 06
I beleive as parents it is our job to teach our childrenhow to act as adults, they learn from us, we are tehre biggest role models.
2 people like this
• India
5 Dec 06
now a days parents think whtever they are doing..wud b very good for the kid and his future..they try to earn a lot of money to hav their kid's future secured... but they miss jout tht their kid also need their compny and guidence while growing up... the ideal parents are they who knw to maintain nthe balance
2 people like this
@honest007 (794)
• India
5 Dec 06
i dont know what to tell u.. its realy a bad childhood. i think now u will be bold enough to face any type of trouble... i believe that u should not take ur past childhood as a reason of ur current life. try to enjoy ur life how many days u will be alive...
2 people like this
• India
5 Dec 06
I think Rough childhood is not what you can take a reason for your future ,,its the way in which you are driving ur life.. If you can pick up happy moments over those sad I guarantee u ,,u will love ur life. Its just like a dark spot on a white paper.You tend to look at the dark spot ,,which is ur sorrow,,but simply ignore the whole white part i.e joy Change the way u look at ur life and see the abrupt and most lovely change in ur life Wish u all the best in ur life.
2 people like this
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Yes, people are responsible for their own decisions. The reality is though that people with good parents have a much better shot at making the right decisions because they have the benefit of sound guidance. Not everyone chooses to listen, but it is such a gift to have that. I will always wonder what would have been different if I had parenet that took more of an interest in my teenage years.
1 person likes this
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
Good or bad parents each and everyone of us has a chance to make it in life, Some people jump at the chance where as others would prefer to play the victim card for the rest of their lives!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
I agree with you bay!! Yes, most parents screw up at least at some level--no one's perfect. And some parents really screw up. But at some point we have to take responsibility for our own actions---it can most definately be done!! The real problem rears its ugly head when you're trying your darndest to get away from your childhood issues and they follow you half way across the country!! Not to steal your thunder but that's exactly what happened to us!! Ouch!! My husband wanted to strike out on our own because of a rotten childhood and "break the cycle"--which is our family motto. So what does the "family" do? They invite themselves and follow us 4 states away. Hahaha Not making excuses here--just whining a bit--makes it tougher when they won't give you your space.
• United States
5 Dec 06
I had a very normal childhood, two educated parents both with careers, I never wanted for anything. There were times when I blamed my parents for some of the decisions I made...but once I realized that life is what you make it, everything changed. (U don't have to have a rough childhood to try and blame your behavior on your parents) Life is precious and once someone realizes how quickly it goes by, there is no time to blame someone else for mistakes. The best thing to do is learn from it and move on. Life is precious, enjoy every minute of it.
1 person likes this
@Maeica (169)
• New Zealand
5 Dec 06
I think there IS a bit of a victim mentality out there lately. Some people seem to feel they need someone to blame for the disappointments in their lives and parents are often first in the firing line. In a way maybe it's natural to do that (blame parents), but a true sign of maturity is to work through all that and continue to have a positive relationship with them, as much as possible, despite the past. There's always someone with a better or worse past than our own. Sorry to hear about your childhood, sounds really tough, but you seem to have a great attitude to life!
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
Thank you, i agree with you their is always someone is worse off then yourself and thats the way i see it. Even now i continue to be apart of my mums and step dads life dispite my childhood because i have a young child of my own, my mum and step dad are there for my son in a way that they were never there for me or my younger sister so i could never take that away from him!
@Maeica (169)
• New Zealand
5 Dec 06
Yeah, interesting how some people who weren't great parents become excellent grandparents!
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I hate to disagree... Some people can take the negative experiences and learn from them, they become better parents for it. Their personal growth is more 'in spite of' their parents rather than a result of. Others, sadly, will be strongly influenced by the way they were raised and become their own parents, thinking it is the normal way to live and raise children. We are a product of our parents achievements and mistakes sometimes.
• United States
5 Dec 06
I very much agree with you. Some people are able to rise above the way they were raised and what happened to them as children. I do believe that a lot of that has to do with that person making a decision to live their life in a different way, and are driven because of the way their lives were as kids. Others are not as fortunate. Sometimes it's their own fault, and sometimes it isn't. Some people repeat the same patterns their parents did because they are surrounded and suffocated by it. Like the teenage mom cycle. Others may just be lazy and choose not to have a different and better life. They just give in to it and join the dysfunctional party.
• United States
5 Dec 06
I had a very crappy childhood and I am a resounding success. :) I am also a great mother. I don't create any of my parents with this (adoptive and biological) except what NOT to be! I teach seminars to show people that they can overcome a crappy childhood...and I don't take any whining from them (if I can do it, you can do it!) but sometimes people are just not ready. Sometimes they will NEVER be ready. But sometimes complaining is all they can do at the moment, until they are ready to DO something about it. In their time.
@BunGirl (2639)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I completely agree. In my opinion a rough start makes you a stronger person, not a weaker one. Once you have overcome all of that, you know you can do anything you set your mind to. No reason to spend the rest of your life whining about it!
1 person likes this
@crabby1 (304)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
I agree with you working for what you got in life makes you appreciate it all the more. It sickens me to see parents giving their children so much these days particularly at Christmas and then they wonder later where they went wrong when the kids grow up and are too bone lazy to study for exams or go out and look for a job or serve an apprenticeship for a Trade. They expect their parents to keep them for the rest of there lives
• United States
4 Dec 06
I definitely understand what you're saying. I'm sorry to hear that your childhood was rough. People use that excuse for what their lives have come to. Sure, you have to take control of your life but some people cannot recover the same you did. I admit that a lot of people who aren't happy with their life use the childhood excuse but there are some people who's personality makes it very difficult to get past that. I think that a good or bad childhood does give advantages and disadvantages.
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
5 Dec 06
thanks for commenting!
@caramello (4382)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Funny you should say that as prisoners use that excuse for the crimes they commit! I was abandoned by my Mother and a few other unpleasantries happened to me along the way, but it only made me more determined to be a better Mother to my own children.
1 person likes this
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thank you very much, i completely agree with you! Although for awhile i did see my mother coming out in me but i soon put a stop to that lol!
@edelweiss (1930)
• India
5 Dec 06
Ok.. fine people should take responsibility for the bad things that happen to their life. A person who gets raped and takes responsibility on herself for getting raped and keep their mouth shut for the rest of the life instead of fighting against the crimes that are ruining so many lives!
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
ur really correct in what ur saying most of the people just try to be on safeside by saying that.but its also true that everyone cant be like u.ur really a very brave girl who have taken life as it is and have not given up.some people are very sentimental while some get infuenced easily.so it might have affected them.just try to understand them,may be they are true or otherwise just ignore
@Dest1001 (13)
• Singapore
5 Dec 06
Yes i agree with all of you. Some of us here may had bad childhoods but there are many people who have a happy childhood too. Everyone should have cherised their childhood before they grew into men and women.We should not blame others for whats happening to us but we should take our own responsibility and have the courage to blame ourselves for becoming what we are today. No one should blame others for their own mistakes.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I think for some people, it was so bad that it really affects them constantly. I know people who had horrible childhoods. But it affects them and their fears, not how they treat others. Well, maybe it does affect how they treat others, but in a positive way instead. They are much nicer around children, extremely concerned with their safety, and want to always do nice things for people. But they are personally constantly reminded of the horrors.
1 person likes this
@00fear (3203)
• United States
5 Dec 06
kinda true that people put about their childhood, but still good discussion i dont mind responding to them
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
gosh!!!!!!! did all dis really happen to u? ok gal seems uve had a tough life but whats appreciative is ur will and ur attitude towards life HATS OFF LADY!!!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
• China
5 Dec 06
en...en...Yes! We should stop complaining how hard our life is. Because no one can save you but youself. We should focus our eyes on our future we can make, not the past you never can do everything about it. I had a not bad childhood,and I admit I am a lucky guy for someone like you. For my life, I got nothing to complain. I will try my best to take care of my parents and make them happy everyday.
1 person likes this