Have you ever met a child who could not be controlled?

United States
December 6, 2006 3:17am CST
I have had a young niece here that I travelled miles and miles to help... I ended up in debt and the child heading home due to uncontrollable situations. My family is upset that I did not keep her here and that I did not pay for her trip home..but I ran out of money so I can't afford to send her home..and my patience and ability to cope with her actions caused me to return her..she had no respect for me and wanted not to listen to any requests. I had her here a week and went completely broke.. Nothing was enough neither for her or for my family .. I had to call in help to handle her and I had her only a week.
4 people like this
21 responses
@MGjhaud (20749)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
i have a nephew that can be related to that situation. he's 3 years old. he's really energetic that sometimes i define it as over-energetic kid. he can climb, jump, run, talk, whatever you can think of that involves moving your body -- he can THE WHOLE DAY. i remember once i babysat him in our house cause his parents was away for the whole day and man, i had a total headache. i can't lie down for a rest in about 5 minutes. and one time also his father [my bro] left him in our house and he's a grandfather's-boy by the way so my father was baby-sitting him for a while but after some moments my father called me if Joshua [nephew]was with me but he's not. so we were actually looking for him an hour or so. we were so worried cause where can a 3yrs old can go? but then he got back on his own. he'd been in our fish pond. thank God he's safe.
3 people like this
• United States
6 Dec 06
I believe toddlers can be energized beyond our imagination. Is he hyper-active or is this the normal toddler energy? Best wishes to you and your little nephew!+
2 people like this
• Austria
6 Dec 06
Yes I did. My friend got sick and she needed someone to take care of her child. So I took care of her son for one week. Her son is about 7 years old. We went to the park and he run away yelling so hard and went on grabbing some plants from the garden. I needed to call the assistance of the caretakers. It was a terrible experience. I think there are really kids suffering from this type of behaviour. The mother is now taking her son regularly to a kid-counselor every saturday.
3 people like this
• United States
6 Dec 06
I am consoled at hearing your story; since I had my niece with me a short time .. I have never had to deal with children that age in my home; or have I had any troubled children there. It was so very hard ..I could tell she was hurting but I was unable to reach her . Please pray for her. Thanks Joy
2 people like this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
6 Dec 06
my wife works with them all day every school day in kindergarden. Just need to keep trying new things until something works.
• United States
6 Dec 06
what do you do with the children who are hyperactive?
1 person likes this
@chrisie (207)
• United States
7 Dec 06
"Hyperactive" is thrown around WAY too frequently. Children have energy! It's NORMAL! Hooray for them! We should all be so lucky as to have that amount of energy still!! Give them ample room to run, play, explore, and LIVE. They're children.. it's an innate characteristic.
@iluvujoy (311)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
I had met a lot of child who can't be controlled and I just ignore them. Anyways at the right time, they will just realize what they do. They are still children, as they grow, they will know things and understand things.
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
6 Dec 06
so who keeps them safe while you ignore the problem?
1 person likes this
@chrisie (207)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think she meant ignore the behavior rather than ignore the child themselves. :) I"m hoping anyways. Ignoring bad behavior is one way they say to handle behavior issues. Children that act out are typically in need of a lot of love and attention. That's all. It may sound like a cop out, or cliche.. or whatever. I've worked with a lot of special needs kids.. special needs as coming from abusive homes, broken homes, and homes of all circumstances. Kids need love and attention. Give them what the NEED, what they DESIRE in a healthy, caring way.. and you should see their attitude change. Try many things. Try, try, try again! Give children outlets. Show them that no matter what they do or say, that you WILL be there for them as a guiding hand, and as someone they can trust. All children are really great, just be open minded and try to remember.. they ARE just little people.. with TONS of energy!
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think you are completely unaware of the violent nature of this child..and I am sure if she was with you ..all the hurrays would become worries.. ITs so easy to say that give them room..when there is no more room to give .when the last dollar is spent and the child is demanding more and more. Perhaps your idea of energy is much different than violent actions.. take in a hyperactive overbearing child for a week..then please come back to this forum and tell me your advice.
• United States
7 Dec 06
my niece - this is my niece when she was only a few months old
I personally believe in the saying "it takes a village to raise a child"she was not only your responsibility but everyones. If the has a problem and you have done all you can then thats all you can do. I used to be a problem child and there is no teacher like being on your own in reality...
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think she went "through the village" before I got her and they were hoping I would be the one to help her. Why they are upset that I havent succeeded when no one else has..leaves me clueless.
• India
7 Dec 06
Yes, My sister's child who is 2 yrs old. She doesn't listen to anybody, not even her own parents.
• United States
7 Dec 06
Two years old and already defiant..is there more chance for her though?I know children can change more easily at at certain age. What does your sister do to keep her in line and have her mind her?
@_hope_ (3916)
• Australia
7 Dec 06
yes i know just what you aregoing through i have been doing the same thing for the past 18yr with one of my daughters it`s been hell and getting no better as time goes on
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
So how do you handle it..I really can sympathize with you..After 10 days..which is a tad over a week..I was shaking and nervous and hurting for her..I wanted to help her but knew that it could never be since she refused to take help or accept any correction.
• Philippines
7 Dec 06
i also have a neice who is hyperactive. right now, she's undergoing therapy, wherein she mingles with other children and do activities together. They do massages to calm the child as well as exercises to divert their attention. the therapy really helped her a lot. she now has a longer attention span and you could actually already talk to her. maybe there are institutions there in your country that they deal with hyperactive children and help them in their development.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
since custody was not handed over to me..I could not do anything without the fathers permission..There was over 600 miles between me and the child's parents. Therapy was not an option
• India
7 Dec 06
according to me u did a gr8 job ,atleast u tried your best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• United States
7 Dec 06
but for some best is not enough if the girl returned home..they expected what I could not give..I tried ..since that is what they asked..Now they dont even talk to me.
@ktvgames (142)
• Pakistan
7 Dec 06
In such situation you should handle with care because any violent action can lead to some other problem you need to make her understand that I am suffering from such problem and you are getting difficult for me if you would not cooperate with me I will not care for you
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
I believe she understood what she was doing..many times I cried in front of her.. She had so much anger in her words and actions ..she frightened me. and moreover never any respect.
@exchange (949)
• Australia
7 Dec 06
no there is no such thing spend 1 day with the child and find out why they behave so most of the time they are unrulely because their parents ingore them
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
I dont think this child was ignored she carried with her a key board, a guitar, an ipod. etc. she had so much when she came and My job just didnt permit me to give 24 hours unlimitied attention..Her actions moreoever were uncontrollable and violent.
@Jshean20 (14374)
• Canada
7 Dec 06
What an unfortunate situation. I've never met a child who was so out of control personally, but I've heard about many of them on TV and some are pretty scary with how they act and how disrespectful they are. It's unfortunate that your family doesn't understand that you had to send her home and couldn't pay for it yourself, surely she is just as wild with them as she was with you? The family should appreciate that you sent her home before you gave up on your patience and said or did something to really hurt her. You did the right thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
I would have paid the trip back if I could..but I paid the trip up..over 600 dollars went toward the child this past week and 3 days..not only for the hotel stays to and from picking her up but also her food, clothing and school supplies.. She had all she wanted..even got her a puppy that she kept for 3 days..Not even a thank you from the family..they make me out to be the villian and no longer talk to me or communicate with me..I just dont understand..No one else succeeded..I can't perform miracles..Miracles require cooperation and faith.
@chukwudi (1100)
• Nigeria
7 Dec 06
Its a world wide problem with children,some of them have grown wild in there former place there is nothing you can do to keep them the way you want them to be ,they like to live the way the want .if you try to correct them they will look at you as if you want to hinder them from leaving the way the want ,you can only end up as a wicked person ,their want are many and if you continue to keep such person with you ,you get fustrated,so try and let your people understand that you did your best,for the one week .if the doubt you let another person try
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
Other people have tried so I am wondering why they are so upset with me..no one else was able to tame her down.. She is out of control and hateful ..no respect or she hasnt learn how to respect anyone.. My heart bleeds for her but that is all I can do.
• Philippines
7 Dec 06
yes. we had this neighbor with his 3-year-old son. i could not believe that the son already knows how to swear!.. and he does this a lot. i think it took me months before i got used to it. but he always makes e raise my eyebrows. if he was MY son i would never let him of the hook for swearing even just once.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
Yes, children these days have such a different language then what we ourselves would use and so much aggression!
• Indonesia
7 Dec 06
I have little nephew that hard to controlled. But I try to hard and teach my nephew that every kind of deed has reward and punishment. Reward if he can do any positif deed, and I will give punishment for any negatif deed. Dicipline and teach to responsible immediately, and of course patient of you.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 06
Punishment and discipline was not permissable..I couldnt really do anything against her without escalating the already volatable scenario.
@happygal68 (3278)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I am sorry that it didn't work out for you and your niece. You can only do and tolerate so much, until you finally break. In time your family will understand why you had to send her back. I would just give it some time for things to settle down and I am sure it will all get better for you and I hope it does for your niece too. (Sounds like she will be a real handful for anyone not just you)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I was the last resort they were saying as she had already been with my mom, her mom, and grandmom the other side into mental hospital a couple times.. I simply felt sorry for her and drove miles to get her so they wouldnt put her on the bus and simply ship her to me.. There were moments she was nice; but mostly it was violence and nervous energy she put off to me..
@owlwings (38859)
• Cambridge, England
7 Dec 06
I am so sorry that you had so much trouble with your niece :( I have, very occasionally, met people like that. Usually they urgently need psychiatric help. If they are lucky enough to get it, they generally turn out to be lovely people but often they can't or won't get help and they generally end up in corrective institutions after going through the courts for some petty crime. I really hope that your niece doesn't end up that way. I seem to remember that you said that she was a very young teen.
• United States
7 Dec 06
She is 13 but tries to be the "adult" Instead of listening she likes to control and call the shots. She didnt particulary want anyone to tell her what to do..she was over agressive and very unreasonable..and moreover didnt want to go to school
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
i know one kid who pretty much has his way all the time...he's the son of one of our friends...but i don't have a close encounter with the boy yet...which i'm very thankful for..:)
• India
7 Dec 06
i have my son who is 2 and a half year.he is super charged and has non stop energy from day to dawn he keeps me on my toes.he is hyper-active baby and i have to keep him always engaged other wise he turns to destructive activities or injurious activities.so i have to be extra vigilant and on my toes.but i love his energy and i try keeping pace with him on weekends my sister come home and releave me by baby sittting him.
@hinaomar (1427)
• Pakistan
7 Dec 06
yes my nephew is like that.he beats everyone.he is only 3 years old and hopeless.he spits on everyone.nobody know how to control him.