Dad Hates my Boyfriend

us - lovers in derail
Philippines
December 7, 2006 9:36am CST
I've been seeing my boyfriend for over a year and our relationship is fantastic. We get along beautifully and have a great deal in common. This man gives me love, support, understanding, and companionship. He's the man I have been waiting for all my life. There is however, one problem: My parents hate him. Though my mother struggles to be civil to him, my father wont allo his name to be mentioned in the house. I am beside myself trying to work this out and am having very little success. When holidays come around, my boyfriend is never included. This puts me in an awkward position because when I dont attend these functions I hurt my family. His family is wonderful to me, but I am terrified about what the wedding will be like under these circumstances. My parents need to know how much they are hurting me and the person I love.
3 people like this
58 responses
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
8 Dec 06
Why do they not like him? I´ve also been inthis situation where my parents didn´t approve but i ignored them at the end they turned out to be right but it took me 4 years to see what they saw, and i wasted valuble time - however i do not regret it.. Follow your heart - if your parents love you they will come around!
1 person likes this
@vanezzyi (206)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
you will always be daddy's little girl..what do you really expect? since he is seeing that you are so happy with your bf and you arebin such a serious relationship , it pains him to see his little girl slowly being taken away from him... if your mom doesnt like the guy also, then you have to worry...cause mom doesnt just like that bf just for nothing..maybe she feels that this guy is not for you, and she is hoping that you will wake up sonn for the best... anyhow, if he really loves you, no matter how long or how hard, he will try his best to prove to your parents that he is the right one for you. hope the best for both of you. ;)
1 person likes this
• India
8 Dec 06
your father may have other ideas about your BF,and hence may not like him...You need to explain to your father the love and affection which he gives to you...and make your father understand his worth
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
8 Dec 06
Has he given them a reason not to like him? That may be why they don't like him. If not, maybe try to talk to them and reason with them.
1 person likes this
@bobster (219)
8 Dec 06
just tell him how you feel - what more can you do?
1 person likes this
@kboots (145)
• India
8 Dec 06
If you think he is the correct guy in your life then you should probably make your dad understand that how much you care and love him. You cannot just let it go.
1 person likes this
@lissaj (532)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think you need to sit down and talk to you parents seriously about why they dislike him so much. He apparently makes you happy as you are going to be married. There has to be something, and if they are that concerned that he is not the right person for you, then they need to tell you why. If they will not tell you, then you can't do much more. Just tell them this is your decision and your life. They can't come up with a reason, you don't want to hear anything else mean said about him. They are just going to have to accept him, and if they don't, it's their loss. In the end, if they keep it up, they may drive you away too.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Dec 06
Parents are very posssesive when it comes to daughters. Do ur parents spend the same amount of time with ur boyfren than u do. No ryt..!! So u know him better than they do. N if u wan ur parents to agree or understand ur relationship.Just let time play its part here.. If your parents are hurting you pray for them and forgive. If your relationship is true there will surely come a time when they themselves will agree for it. I wish you all the best and keep smiling..:-)
• India
8 Dec 06
yes i agree with u As parents r really very possesive for the girls n they want their daughters to choose her life partner according to them n in future either ourself or tehy dont have to face any problems So they r very pssesive n this also true that if your relation is true than surely that will acceppect him just trust on him yourself n god
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
yeah!! i agree... and i hope so..maybe sooner or later...
@funfreak2k2 (1740)
• India
7 Dec 06
thats a hard situatuion for all of u! do ur parents like u to get married with another boy than they look for u? this might be the reason. parents believe and they are right, they can choose the right person for u than u choose for urself.
• China
8 Dec 06
yes
@vhings (12)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
Look a good guy.
@maucute (980)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
You know what, we're in a similar situation. My current boyfriend is not a Chinese that's why I've got a problem with my parents about it. When my dad found out about it, he kept giving me advices that might change my mind about, but I insisted on my decision that's why he gave up. He told me he wouldn't mind me with my love life.. We both know it's really hard, it's hurting everyone but my bf stayed beside me all those times.. That's one situation my brother explained to me, your time will be divided to him and your family when there will be an occasion. Don't worry too much as he say, be strong and stand by your decision if it makes you happy, I'm sure your bf is there to help you out also.. Just make sure you've thought about your decision well..
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
crazy how people can become over critical... first, i think your parents are right for not liking your boyfriend. i saw your picture and by the looks of you, you are still young to have an intimate relationship with some and better yet, think about getting married. think about your life first and how you can enjoy youth... don't think too much about boys!
• India
8 Dec 06
umm...... well maybe ur parents agree later have patience yaar....
@balabrahmam (1074)
• India
8 Dec 06
love - love
These problem happing in every lovers life but we will wait for some time and realize your father your boyfriend is good and do not leeve your by friend he is the one giving company through out life so best of luck i will hope your love will be succefull
• Malaysia
8 Dec 06
amy....you can change anyone else in the world, include your own child. What you suppose to do is change YOURSELF, take time, and the world will change thereafter. If this man really your love one, he love you, teach you, guide you, support you, accompany you...then show to both your dad and mom that you learn better because of him and you think matuely because your growth with him. I think both your parent will somehow accept him if he really love you.
• United States
8 Dec 06
Alot of times a dad sees a boyfriend as competition in "his little girls life" My dad got horribly jealous because he tought I wouldn't need him anymore. I just had to show him that even though I love my boyfriend I still love my dad to and nothing can change that.
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
8 Dec 06
Are you still living with your parents? What is the reason that they don't like your boyfriend? I had the same problem with my dad when I first started dating my husband, they still are not best friends but they do get along. Give it some time. If your bf is good to you then give your mom and dad some time to see that. Part of this may be their reluctance to let you go or let you grow up.
• India
8 Dec 06
If You like him and you can trust him like blind then you can tell your parents that he is the best for you and you can make them understand him as well......! Every thing is fair in LOVE and WAR.....?
@ipanks (892)
• Indonesia
8 Dec 06
hmm..its just need a little work to proof to your father so he can accepted your boyfriend.if you really love your boyfriend then you both must proof to your father that your boyfriend can to be a good son in law. just give your father attention that show how much you and your boyfriend really care and love your father.i hope it can help u.GOD bless you
@SACH4ISHA (1164)
• India
8 Dec 06
otono - otono
that's the comman problem with dad all think that thier daugther are not big to think about that own ways but one thing i like to add that they alwys think good for you
• United States
8 Dec 06
i have the same exsact problem and i have no idea wat to do its not fair at all at least ur older and can be with the one u love and i cant be with the one i love its horrible the parents really do not understand at all