Does pain always go hand in hand with love?

Philippines
December 7, 2006 12:55pm CST
A lot of people say that if you have decided to love someone and engage into an intimate relationship with that person, you should always be ready to get hurt...They always say that loving someone, is letting yourself be vulnerable to any pain and suffering...It's like going into a battle without a sword and a shield to protect you...Loving according to them, is always about getting ready to lose, and never expecting to win...Most say that love entails pain and sacrifices...But can it really be called love when you are already hurting? Is it still love, even if it's the reason why you cry every night; feel so helpless and alone; and became so shattered and fragmented? Is love enough that you let other people get inside your own happy world, just to give them the power to destroy and make it so dark and in doom? Do I really have to get hurt to feel love? Can we just not love, feel loved, or be loved without getting hurt or without taking the risk of being hurt? These questions can almost go on and on until eternity...and these questions are not just mine. Each one of us--at some point-- have asked these questions but end up always failing to have the right answers...
3 people like this
54 responses
• United States
7 Dec 06
yeah i have come to know that if you do love some one then be prepared to feel pain, mostly emotional pain...which is good because it lets you know that you are in love...the reason I say this is because alot of the times some one can say something to you and it not faze you one bit but if a person you love says something it may hurt your feelings, and or same as actions. It kinda goes to say the same thing for all emotions to be angered to be hurt to be ambarrassed, to feel a love so deep it hurts..sometimes i look at my wife and i just think and ouch my heart hurts all over again. I dont know about any of you but thats just the way I feel towards my wife that the love can be so strong it sometimes physically hurts you
1 person likes this
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
Pain is only a parcel of feelings when you get inlove. Pain will also come without the feeling of love. So, in speaking, pain does not always go hand in hand with love. I hope every body is in love for in time of pain, true love will survive.
• India
8 Dec 06
yes thts right.... its not necesary tht pain only come in way of love ....
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
yeah right, i chose you as the best response i receive so far. you write your thoughts vividly, and i understand what your trying to express about this discussion.
8 Dec 06
I don't think so no. Sure you think your in love, then the relationship fizzles out and your hurt and upset but then you get over it and relise it wasn't really love afterall. You meet someone new and experience feelings you'd never felt before, you know it's love then. This doesn't always happen just like that, people can go through a load of different partners before they find their true love and yes there going to get hurt along the way but once real love has been found, Pain is not an issue.
• United States
8 Dec 06
Nicely put, I agreed.
• India
8 Dec 06
Yes, when we love someone, we remember her/him all the time. Just want to meet our beloved. But sometime it is not possible, then this love/rembrance convert into pain. We like nothing to do. Only one aim, how to meet, where to meet....ok.
• India
8 Dec 06
sorry, please read rembrance as remembrance .. ok
• Pakistan
8 Dec 06
Thats a good discussion.I like your discussion very much. Hope you get a lot of responses and earn a lot.Good luck.
• India
8 Dec 06
Love makes you more occupied in the happiness, more occupied in the hope. So, the pain is somehow forgotten. Somehow, it becomes secondary, and maybe on furthering it ceases to be. Talking with someone who you love relieves the pain. Burden is lessened.
@gentolet (150)
• Indonesia
8 Dec 06
Love is not pain. When we love or be loved with someone, we should accept everything that happened and further risk with all o.'s heart and soul. Love never brought the pains.When we cry because of love...it's just the reaction how to enjoy with everything happened with our emotion. If someone refuse our love...Why should we compulse our love to them?
• China
8 Dec 06
i can't agree you more!love is sweet!pain in love is also sweet,if you accept it!
@tomkerrj (165)
• United States
15 Feb 07
its part of life as we all hurt and have hurt others as we all learn from the mistakes its part of growing up
• India
25 Jan 07
I have given much thought about writing of love and what my personal feelings are, and I feel moved to write of this now. Since I have been through what so many others have, because of a love that is lost or unrequited. It is now time to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper, so that others may benefit from my journey. Love comes from the soul and it is so deep and beautiful that I cannot find earthly words to describe it or do it justice. Great Spirit blessed me handsomely when He created my soul. I have lacked very little in life, even though at the time I didn't realize how much I was blessed. He gave me an overabundance of love and some very special gifts so that I could help others by giving them guidance in their difficult times. He instilled in me the wisdom of The Grandfathers to share with all seeking Their guidance. Yet with all the gifts that He gave me, I have only felt pure love once with a man and that was lifetimes ago, but the pain of that beautiful relationship ending has carried over into this lifetime.
• India
9 Dec 06
DEAR LOVE IS NOTHING BUT LIVING OTHER PERSON NOT SELF LIVING. DEAR I WAS IN LOVE BEFOR 6 MONTH I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT IS LOVE. LOVE IS LIVING THE PERSON WHO LOVE, NOT ABOUT U LOVE THAT. MY MEANING IS THAT ONLY : DON'T LIKE THAT PERSON WHO LIKE U, BUT LOVE THAT PERSON WHO IS READY TO LOVE U.WITHOUT LOVE NOTHING IN LIFE.LOVE IS LOVE. LOVE IS GREATER THAN GOD. LOVE IS LIFE & WITHOUT LOVE IS LIFE IS LIKE RECYCLE BIN.
@volschenkh (1045)
• South Africa
8 Dec 06
Nw love is without pain, but when it goes long term, there are many moments of pain. But for some reason you do not end it, cause its the making-up afterwards that gives real joy! Its a soul searching experience, as you sometimes have to dig deep to find the reasons why you're putting yourself through it!
@manick (132)
• India
8 Dec 06
believe in what u believe now.. it'll always be rite
@blueman (16516)
• India
8 Dec 06
i do not think it has to always go with love. someone can be wthout pain and only love.
@yarntales (639)
• United States
8 Dec 06
The Bible says that "perfect love casts out all fear". Unfortunately, we humans aren't perfect and do not love perfectly. In my experience, human love does mean being vulnerable to pain. But the flipside is that most of us, hurt others we love too. Not on purpose of course, but we do.
• India
8 Dec 06
there are both negatives and positives in every aspect of our life . So as in love . I toally agree with yo;u that in love we have to be ready for any thing and if try to fight and win over situations and heart of of your loved ones
• India
8 Dec 06
yes for all those who are in love their is always suffering
@vikranth (179)
• India
8 Dec 06
moments of love.....after which moments of PAIN......
• India
8 Dec 06
yes loving and getting loved may be best thing in world. but love inflict pain that cannot be matched with any bigger pain in the world.nor does it have any medicine
@bobster (219)
8 Dec 06
yes love hurts
@dan1107 (343)
• India
8 Dec 06
Not always. Love is less to do with the pain. Its the people who makes this relationship (between the love and the pain), Though there is a risk of being dejected, if tackeled carefully, one can minimise this risk. One more thing, there is nothing like 'love at first sight'.
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
YES, pain always go hand in hand with love because loving is a feeling that cannot be explained and so as the pain, it is a feeling...without it feeling there could be no pain and so there could be no love also...and without pain you will learn nothing...you will not learn How to Love? What is Love? When to Love?....like brain and heart...they can't work independently without the company of the other one.