At what age is a person considered to be a "young" mother?

@megs85 (3145)
Australia
December 7, 2006 9:48pm CST
I am 21 and have a seven month old son, I often have people looking at me strangely. But all over the news are stories of fifteen and sixteen year old girls that have abused the system and had a child just to get the baby bonus. Girls like this give all of us "younger" mothers a bad reputation. Where are there parents in all of this? In some cultures it is perfectly acceptable for a thirteen year old girl to be married and have a child. Why do some cultures allow this? Is it right to endorse children having children? At what age does a woman become emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a baby? Should babies with babies have their children taken from them, or should they receive parenting education of some sort to try and keep children with their biological mothers? How do young mothers afford babies? Okay, sorry about the essay guys- the main point was at what age do you consider a mother to be a "young mum" so to speak? If you want to elaborate because you feel passionately about this like I do, feel free, I'd be happy to discuss your views in contrast with my own in further detail :D
7 people like this
72 responses
@kesfylstra (1870)
• United States
8 Dec 06
You just asked a LOT of questions. I had my daughter at 23, and I feel pretty young compared to a lot of women. But, there are many young girls having babies. I am not going to pass judgment on other cultures' view of marriage and childbearing age, just because they are sooooo different than the western world, and have entirely different support structures. Here, though, there are state initiatives to help young mothers, and hopefully they will have some super supportive parents, like mine were. Keep your chin up, don't care about what others may think. You have your baby, and I hope you are all sorts of happy about it!
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3145)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
I love being a mum, think it's the best thing in the world. I did ask a whole lot of questions didn't I? LOL Suppose its just somehting I feel passionately about...
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
In my eyes there is nothing wrong with asking questions because thats how you going to understand about how other people feel. I love kids and I'm so happy im going to have 2 more babies coming into my family soon! Both of my nieces are young but I will always love them and give them the support that they are looking for!
• United States
8 Dec 06
I'm 32 and have a 3 and 4 1/2 yr old.. perhaps because I look like I'm in my early 20's, I get the comments I do. But sometimes people treat me like I'm really young. My husband tells me I look vulnerable and people look at me like I need help and need to be protected or something. I don't feel like a typical "mom", anyway. I never have. I don't have a cell phone, I don't cart my kids all over town- just to preschool and back, and that's basically it. I don't go to mommy groups. Heck, I don't really know anybody aside from my son's teachers, but I don't talk to them outside of school.
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I guess when you're a teenager mother, I'd think that's young age to be a mother.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
i have a friend, she's only 16 and hey!! she's got a baby and she's a young mom,, but it's not good for a young mom to have baby,,because everything will change. right!!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
Sometimes it changes there life for the best! I have nothing against it I know alot of my friends had babies when they were young and they became more dependant and they dont regret having there kids young.
• United States
8 Dec 06
I would not consider you a young mother. I think that if you are 18 or younger, you are not emotionally stable ro financially to take care of a baby. I would not worry about what other people think because if there is something I have learned it is that you cannot make everyone happy.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
My mother raised me fine, thank you, and withOUT family help. A lot of the "emotional instability" comes from our culture, which invented the entire juvenile stage well under a century ago. What we view as a "child" (13) has been an adult in some cultures, fully prepared and able to make his own decisions. -'Dee
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
My mom had 4 beutiful girls and she raised all of us on her own and we all came out perfectly fine. My sisters always had that father figure in there life and I never did all I had was my mother and my sisters but I turned out to perfectly fine!
• United States
8 Dec 06
I think it depends on the individual. Some fifteen year olds are more mature than some 30 years olds. Young mothers I would think would be age 21 and younger. But that's not to say they are bad mothers, just young. That's the problem: Young is usually associated with bad or too immature. That's not necessarily the case. I don't think you can pinpoint an age when a woman is emotionally or mentally ready for a child. Everyone develops differently. I do however think that it is a shame that really bad mothers are allowed to continue having children. I think once you do something like abandon or abuse your child, then that's it. Your right to have more children should be taken away.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
I agree with you I was 16 years of age when I had my daughter but I lost her, she turned about to be a still born! But now im 30 years old and I still dont have no kids, because deep down I know i'm not ready mentally, financially, and physically to raise a baby. And plus I wanna make sure I have a my baby with the right person who im going to build something with!
1 person likes this
@Hamlet333 (724)
• Pakistan
8 Dec 06
Hi, I Can't Answer U Man CoZ !!! I m 18 Years OLD !!! :) Thats Why Can't Answer u 1 :)
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
That doesn't make no kind of sense at all! Its not hard to post a comment about what people say.
• United States
8 Dec 06
There was this girl my ex was friends with. First off she had been a virgin & was raped, so please don't rag on her. She was 10 & a mom. Luckily HER mom helped raise the baby. Me, I was 20 when my son was born. I may be young, but I won't die of old age before he gets out of middle school ;) I also had my daughter at 21 & I'm due again a month before I turn 22. And I hope this go around the dr doesn't refuse to tie my tubes! As for 13 year old mothers in other countries, I'm not there (I live in America), but maybe they finish schooling sooner & ,arriage & family is the next step. I'm completely for education & if you can finish early Before starting a family GR8. Kids need lots of love & attention. But some moms juggle family, school, & work & I so give THEM props. As for how young is too young. I believe it is a matter of maturity, not years (age).
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
I give you alot of credit, at least you never gave up on your life you lived day by day and each one made you a better brighter and stronger person. When your kids get older you could sit there be there mom and a friend at the sametime. I wish you the best of luck in the future!
@rosey2006 (945)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I'm 29 and have a seven month old baby. In my experience I was glad I waited to have children. I had time to be an adult and do things that I wouldn't have being younger.
• United States
8 Dec 06
I'm glad to hear that everyone in my family had there kids young and i'm the only one that is waiting. Sometimes when a young women has a baby at a young age it changes there life!
@klcc82 (183)
• Malaysia
8 Dec 06
18 year olds i think is young mother.But just depent on situation.
1 person likes this
@vronron (83)
• Canada
9 Dec 06
The first thing that popped into my head when you said young mother was any age with a teen behind it (sixteen, etc.) Then I thought to when my mother was younger and she was married at the age of nineteen, well expecting to have children at that age. I would not by any means consider you to young to have a child. At 21 you are likely to have had some stable sort of work or even live on your own. I think a young mum is someone who is just as you said, a baby having a baby. Someone who can't handle the responsability that comes with bearing a child. I don't think that you can put an age on the maturity that one needs to be a mother. I think that varies, and I am sure there are still thirty year old women out there who aren't mature enough to have children. I know a few of them and they have admitted themselves thats that is why they don't have children. Personally I think everyone should receive parenting education. There are so many people getting pregnant these days that have really no idea what they are getting into, and even those who do know could always use the little tips. Why else would they have forums and what not for mothers who need answers. Not everyone is brought up in a situation where you have the ability to practice on smaller siblings or nieces and nephews. In regards to taking away someone's baby perhaps it should be a consequence of failing the parenting education. If you can't take the education seriously enough to understand that what you are doing could make or break a precious life than perhaps you aren't ready to deal with bringing up a child. *Please note that I am using the word you in a general sense.*
@megs85 (3145)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
Thanks for sharing your opinion adn for such a detailed and enlightening response, I appreciate reading something other than a single number with no explanation behind it. I was lucky enough to have my spunk of a nephew whom I looked after full time for a year while his mother worked(my sister). Then when my sis was expecting her second, I fell pregnant. As such there is seven months between my youngest nephew, and my child. I love it!
• Canada
9 Dec 06
I too am lucky in the fact that I have a niece and nephew that I got to practice on, somewhat anyways. Learning some of the basics like changing diapers and the like. I don't as of yet have children, but one day hope to. Good luck with the baby!
@epizzahut (2079)
• China
9 Dec 06
I don't agree girls have babies at very early age,they don't know how to cope with those things ,both physically and mentally you know.besides it is illegale to have baby below age 22.
@megs85 (3145)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
in what country is it illegal to have a baby under the age of 22? you are joking right? thats ridiculous! what kind of dictatorship could no 1 invent and no 2 enforce such a law?
@NewHeart (528)
• Canada
8 Dec 06
well you asked for it i can say you all look like young mothers but to be honest you sure don't look 21 to start with. but being a young mother has nothing to do with age think it has more to do with wisdom if your not sure of something are you wise enough to ask someone who does know.and have you brought up your child with manners and respect so they don't become future lawbreakers. and by the way while looking at your pics. god love that tiger, the way he follows you with his eyes as you walk by that picture must really get to you once in awhile...
@megs85 (3145)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
Huh what? lol? I dont look 21? Do I look younger/older? And what pics? What tiger? Huh, so confused right now?
8 Dec 06
I would say anywhere upto the age of 18 is too young. After 18 I would say that's a reasonable age. Yeah sure, it might still be young to some people but so long as there mature, legal and can finacially cope then I don't think there's any problems being a mother. Sure, people might give you strange looks but thats partly because they think you have the rest of your life ahead of you and having a baby ties you down and needs 100% Commitment. So long as the mother is 18+ and mature enough to cope with the responsibility, I don't see any problem with it. Anything under, is too young.
• India
8 Dec 06
I would also like to say that till student finishes his college he is likely to be young because till that age most of the students aer not bothered of their of their future.
• United States
8 Dec 06
im 22 married with 3 kids one stepson thats 6 a 2 yearold and 5 month old and i don t think nothings wrong with it but i agree about the ones that do it just to get stuff hell they don t even raise them there parents or grandparents do
@nidahali (446)
• Pakistan
8 Dec 06
In my opinion one shoud think about expanding one's family only when we, ourselves are ready enough to take up the responsibility because raising kids is not an easy job. I'm not married, not even engaged but still I think one should be confident in themselves regardless of age.
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
im 23 yrs old and i have a i yr old baby. i consider myself young mother.but whatever it is, im so happy and feel blessed. having a baby completes every women.like an angel heaven sent..
@Talianna (85)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Hmm. I really think it depends on the person that's having the kid. I think 17 is too young, because the person is still a teenager... most likely in school. I say when the person is 18 out, depending on if they have a good job, and is really wants a kid and very dedicated to taking care of the baby. So be it. Let them.
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
I think, you can be considered "young mother" for as long as you are not capable of building your own family which concerns making decisions of your own, make a living, having stable job, and most of all couldn't afford to loose parents and remains childish.
• United States
9 Dec 06
I had my first child @ 17 sd then I had my next @ 19. I don't really care how people look at me or what they think. My 2 year old has Cerebral Palsy and people look at him weird all the time. And I always ask them if they have a problem.. Then they usually walk away... I'm sorry but I defend my son to the fullest.
@wilkingh (354)
• United States
9 Dec 06
at my sister's middle school...her class mates had babies when they were in ssixth grade(3 years ago...) that was wacko...today the twins now have a grand total of 4 or 5 kids...and their mother is VERY proud of them...why is she encouraging this? that is way wrong!!
• United States
9 Dec 06
to answer the title, i feel its anyone that would not have graduated form college yet. (22-23) its tough for young mothers to be able to afford to care for babies. that is just a couple of your questions answered....
@killailla (1301)
• Canada
9 Dec 06
I was 15 when i gave birth, I was a young mother, people looked down at me but considering all I have accomplished and in sucj a small amount of time not one person could ever say I was a bad mother, young mothers do not equal bbad mothers