How much money do I deserve????

His handsome sons he don't want to take care of. - Caleb and Blake
United States
December 8, 2006 4:41pm CST
I have 2 children with my ex-husband. I have had custody of them since the divorce 9 years ago. He has been in and out of their lives and has never really paid his child support(he only pays a couple months a year, if that). He was ordered to pay only $75 a week, but that was with 10% off for regular visitations, which he does not do. Well, I found out that he has a job making $3000 a week and so I asked him to sit down and discuss with me a figure that would be fair to both him and I...Well this turned into a nightmare!! He don't think he should have to give me more than $100 a week....I say he should atleast give me $400 and that's being nice!!! I think the courts go by like 33%and if I was to get that, I would get $990 a week. And I'm not even asking for half of that. He says he's not going to support my other kids by paying his child support. And I don't think it's fair for him to have any say in what I do with that money. It will SURELY go on his children, whether to pay house payment, electric, clothes, food, etc.... He has no other kids to support and no old lady basically he has no other bills than that stupid car, because even his place to live is paid for by work. He's driving a BRAND NEW mustang, I'm driving a 94 Ford Aerostar with 300,000 miles on it! Why does he get to live high on the hog while we suffer, while his kids suffer???? I could take him to court, but he will just quit his job, then I will get nothing, cause he's done this several times before. I just don't understand. If he had the kids and I was capable of making that kind of money I would be more than happy to hand him ATLEAST the $400, I would pay the $990 plus buy them WHATEVER they could ever want. Why does he not want a better life for his kids? I have 9 kids all together now, and we get by, and my kids do have nice things, but that's because I've worked my butt off, not because of him! But, look how much more I could give all of them with that kind of money! What do you think?
60 responses
• United States
8 Dec 06
I would still take him to court because even if he queit his job he would have to get money anyway and if he dosnt pay he ca ngo to jail. tell the court he just bought a new car but he dosnt give money to the kids. I would not let him see the kids untile he has done so. do not reword him.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Dec 06
It's not about rewarding him, it's about hurting the children by keeping them from him. He don't come around often anyhow so they REALLY look forward to his visits. Trust me if it wasn't for that, he'd never see them again... Thanks for the comment!
• India
9 Dec 06
i totally agree with u
1 person likes this
@Riptide (2762)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Yes you better agree or she will minus everyone of your discussions and call you rude.
• United States
8 Dec 06
The only thing you can do is sit down and talk to him about being involved with his boys. Ask him straight up why he won't even pay what was originally ordered and see what he says. Or.....you could try getting back together with him to benefit from the money?? But, if he doesn't want to pay or be a part of their lives, the only choice you have is to take him to court. Maybe since he has such a nice car, he'll want to keep his employment to afford his car?? Good luck.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Dec 06
I've tried to talk to him, it does not work. He's just an idiot. I'll never get through to him. And as far as getting back together with him...NOT even if he made 10,000 a week, everything that man does drives me insane!!! He has noooooo brain....DON'T ask me why I married him! lol Thanks for the comment!
@neon2000 (2762)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
If he don't follow what the court order, he will be charged contempt of court. What the court order is final and obligatory. He should be responsible enough to face the truth and his obligation to his children even without the court.
• India
9 Dec 06
Isn't that being a bit too harsh???
1 person likes this
• India
9 Dec 06
Always do not depend on money. some day u will fell lonely.
2 people like this
@terita (280)
• Pakistan
9 Dec 06
If I were in that situation I would definitely go straight to the court and file some orders. He is required by law to support his children. I would inform the courts about his current job/ income AND let them know he is not paying or following through with the visitation orders
2 people like this
• Saint Lucia
9 Dec 06
hey listen up money can't pay for what you are feeling right now. the fact that he has never been there as a father for your kids is really shameful. anybody can be a father but, it takes a man to be a "Daddy". this guy should be thrown in jail for no child support. this guy needs some serious prayers.
2 people like this
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
I am also a sole parent and until recently I was receiving $20 a week for 2 children, it is now $50 a week....it is still not a lot but better than nothing and he does pay it every week. I believe in being realistic as to the cost of raising the children. I realise that he is earning a lot of money each week and your children should benefit somewhat from this also. You say that you have talked to him and he doesn't think he should pay more than $100 and you would like $400, have you thought of suggesting to him that you split the difference and make it $250 or maybe $200 a week, this is still a reasonable amount so long as you receive it each week.
1 person likes this
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
I just realised that this discussion was started 2 months ago. Has anything been sorted out yet?
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Feb 07
Well, I asked for $400 because I knew he would only send half that. And that's what he's been doing for about the last month, month and a half. He's been averaging sending about $600 a month cuz he always skips weeks here and there. He also bought them some shoes...so he's trying. So, things are getting better. Thank you for your response.
@mssmith007 (1029)
• United States
8 Dec 06
If I were in that situation I would definitely go straight to the court and file some orders. He is required by law to support his children. I would inform the courts about his current job/income AND let them know he is not paying or following through with the visitation orders. If after talking to him the issue isn't resolved, what's left to do? He is breaking the law, and he should support his children. What state are you in? I know in California, they will take your license away and deduct money from your paycheck (BEFORE HE EVEN GETS IT) if he is not following the orders. Oh and don't forget about jail time! That is a very good reason why he would want to pay.
• United States
9 Dec 06
Exactly! It's HIS responsibility to tell the court that he's had an increase in income, and if he's not doing so voluntarily, then YOU take him to court. Maybe you could get back pay also, wouldn't that be sweet? Do a search online for "child support calculator" and whatever state you live in, you may be pleasantly surprised.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 06
https://secure.in.gov/judiciary/childsupport/calculator/support.pl
1 person likes this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
9 Dec 06
OK first off YOU shoud not get any money it should be for your kids and that is not, by what you have asid, why you seem to want it. If yuo can not get the money from him take him back to court. As long as he is working on the books they cab garnish his paycheck and there will be no excuses,if ands or butts about making payment that the children need to survive again and yes I saw that you said he will quit but the order can be places for any job that he gets.
• United States
9 Dec 06
When I stated that I wanted it...it meant...I WANT IT FOR MY KIDS!!!!! Thanks for the comment.
@exchange (949)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
what does your lawyer say? just stop crying to us take him to court what is the law in your country?
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 06
Well, you don't have to be RUDE!!! I can post my questions and my thoughts anytime I want, and if you don't have QUALITY answers to respond with- then don't respond to my posts. BTW....I don't have a lawyer and I cannot afford one because he don't pay his child support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The law states he is supposed to pay child support but enforcing it is alot more difficult.
@banta78 (4335)
• India
9 Dec 06
I think you are wasting your time on him just move forward in life and look what life has to offer. I am not saying don't take any action against him. but you don't want to hurt your and his children if i may so. But i still would advice take him to courts to make him part with what you really deserve as child support and what by law you rightfully should havwe. but i am trying to make the point that please make it as painless as possible for your kids. they won't understand the flaws in their father as you would know. And i know you are quite capable of leading better lifestyle on your own. You just have to belief that you can do better for yourself and your kids. And your ex will burn with envy.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 06
I hear ya! That's what I have done, just did everything myself all these years and I haven't pushed the issue, but man, it's getting harder and harder and they are wanting more and more expensive stuff..etc...and I think it's time that he stepped up to the plate!! I haven't done anything in the past for fear that he will just run and never see the kids again. But now, with his nasty attitude, and the way the kids are starting to learn his nasty ways, I'm not sure that them seeing him is the best thing. I won't do anything to hurt my kids. Thanks for the comments!
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
Your question asked how much do you deserve? The answer is nothing. I do agree that he should be paying what is fair to raise his children, but that money is not yours. It belongs to the children.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 06
Well, I didn't mean it like that, I wish I could reword it to say "HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK MY CHILDREN DESERVE?" But, I can't...so... I don't want the money for myself, I want the money for my kids! Thanks for the comment!
@sjanjh (23)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Honey he is getting off cheap. Let me tell you where i live it is 55% of there pay check. How i know cause after they take out my support he is left with 133 dollars a week to live off of. I would take his sorry butt to court and if he refused to pay his support i would have him tossed in jail then the judge could put him in a work release program and you would get your support. You say the kids look forward to seeing him well start making him feel bad and not let him see them. Once he knows your not playing games maybe then he will realize your not the sucker he played you out to be. Also you may beable to get some type of spousal (sp) support.
1 person likes this
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
4 Feb 07
i would never stop my children from seeing their dad no matter what the situation was with child support.
1 person likes this
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
9 Dec 06
Go back to court, i think that is the only option even if he quits his job and gets a job earning less you will still be entitled to something and i was always brought up with the saying something is better then nothing! My ex gave me child support for an entire 3 months and he gave me a total of $5 a fortnight because he was on the dole i had a new born child $5 covered nothing since nappies cost me $40 a fortnight and formula was $40 a fortnight, and then clothes on top of that!
1 person likes this
@Bayleigh (141)
• United States
9 Dec 06
My friend is in the same situtation, her sons father will get a job then will quit it a month or so down the line. Her child is 10 yrs old now, and she has gotten a total of $100 for 10 years. The Child Support Enforcement Agency will at times send her a check for $2.00 or something like that when he does get a job. She got one recently for $1.45......wtf do they expect her to do with that? It wont even buy a loaf of bread anymore. Its shameful and disappointing that so many people in the world dont really consider having a child and how it is going to change their lives forever.
@lissaj (532)
• United States
9 Dec 06
He is making $3000 a week and can't even pay $75?? I would take his butt right back to court and get the child support raised to start with. Then if you have a court order for child support and he doesn't pay, they can garnish his wages. He will also be liable for the back child support he hasn't paid. Go back to court. He is the one who will have to pay for it.
• United States
9 Dec 06
yes I would go back to court
1 person likes this
@dawn5679 (266)
• United States
31 Jan 07
And the last story was that you had a boy and a girl now it's 2 boys! Sounds kinda fishy.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Dec 06
Maybe revisiting the court order, a change in income needs to be reported. Not every state is the same but you should be able to petition the court. In WI, its every three years.
• United States
9 Dec 06
I wouldnt necesarily take him to court, call whoever is ahndling your child support, your lawyer, dhr, court house, ect and inform them of this job and how much he is making and let them know that he has not been paying and they can garnish it from his pay check. I go through the same thing with my son's father, and he thinks the world of him because 1 he doesnt get to see him much, of the fathers choice, and 2 because he never punishes him for anything he lets him run wild and do whatever he wants to do Its really not fair
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (33387)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Wow, I have never understood how people can be Parents, and then not care about supporting them. I would suggest trying to talk to him again, and threaten him with taking him to court if he does not want to pay more. This will not necessary solve everything, but if you feel like there is not much more you could do, you could go see a Lawyer, and discuss your options.
@ljmc24 (413)
• United States
9 Dec 06
For those saying that she should be asking for her kids and not for herself this is the definition of child support: child support n. court-ordered funds to be paid by one parent to the custodial parent of a minor child after divorce (dissolution) or separation. Usually the dollar amounts are based on the income of both parents, the number of children, the expenses of the custodial parent, and any special needs of the child. In many states or locales the amount is determined by a chart which factors in all these figures. It may also include health plan coverage, school tuition or other expenses, and may be reduced during periods of extended visitation such as summer vacations. Child support generally continues until the child reaches 18 years, graduates from high school, is emancipated (no longer lives with either parent), or, in some cases, for an extended period such as college attendance. The amount and continuation of support may be changed by the court upon application of either party depending on a proved change of circumstance of the parents or child. Child support should not be confused with alimony (spousal support) which is for the ex-spouse's support. Child support is not deductible from gross income for tax purposes (but may allow a dependent exemption) nor is it taxed as income, unlike alimony, which is deductible by the payer and taxed as the adult recipient's income. Expenses of the custodial parent are included in child support. You have to be able to pay expenses to keep a roof over the kids head, car to take them places, and everything else that is mutually for the parent and the child.
1 person likes this
@Sunset50 (1397)
• United States
9 Dec 06
In my state, all you need to do is go back to court. The courts have a system based on percent that he will have to pay. If he quits work he will have to pay anyways or he will be in contempt of court and arrested. He cannot get out of paying. Check your court system and see how they handle child support. Maybe the fear of losing his license or going to jail will wake him up.
1 person likes this