why do girls.........
By deidraisrad
@deidraisrad (71)
United States
December 9, 2006 1:14am CST
ignore the advice their friends give them when it comes to their relationships? i mean only if the relationship is a bad and unhealthy one. friends genuinely care about you and they try to help you out but you just shut them out because of your boyfriend. i've done this myself to. i just don't understand why we do it. is it cause we want to find out ourselves at our own time? i remember when my friends and my mom would give me advice about my relationship and everything they said was true and sounded logical but i still stayed in the relationship. it was as if i was brainwashed. what do you think? why do we do that to ourselves? is it common among other girls/women? and if so should we let it be normal?
61 responses
@deidraisrad (71)
• United States
9 Dec 06
that is true.
i dislike to preach something i wouldn't follow myself.
@cnetboss (2475)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
Advices are only suggestions. Its up to you if you follow it or not.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
9 Dec 06
i do that, too. when in a relationship, woman tends to have their world revolve on their man. we give our full attention and time to them and that we don't care about what other people may say or think.
and i think it's just natural. let women be who they wanna be.
@deidraisrad (71)
• United States
9 Dec 06
yeah and then we tend to dismiss our own logic and intelligence. "grr" to the people that make us feel so weak and helpless. haha.
@snakeyes (569)
• India
9 Dec 06
This is a very common phenomenon taking place not only with girls but also boys.When we are in a relationship we get so immersed in the excitement of it that we could not see anything else in the world.
At that point all the advices and opinions that are given to us by anyone(even our best of friends......) seems to be against us b'coz we are blindfolded by the relationship.
@deidraisrad (71)
• United States
9 Dec 06
i never thought that guys would actually go through this too. i've seen it a little but not as much as in females. yes love can be very very blind.
@Chapman15 (1492)
• United States
9 Dec 06
Agreed with the snake! I've made my share of mistakes in the dating world, but a few times my friends have told me to stay away and sure enough I didn't... I think that's part of the appeal (their non-approval) to fininshing out the relationship...
I've given advice to women as well on their relationships with different friends of mine, and they truly don't listen. I'm not trying to break them up for me to get a shot at the girl, so my true motivation was to warn them. Guys know guys so trust your really good guy friends... In the end I've found that it's best to let things be, because more often then not people are going to do what they want no matter what you say!
@gauri106 (16)
• India
18 Jan 07
Yes it is common among other girls also,infact i faced the same situation.At last i concluded that Yes that is why Love is called Blind.My relationship stayed for only 3 months and now 5 years later when that guy is married and having one kid also,then also i cried for him.God has different ways to teach you the lesson and i think almighty has chosen this kind of teaching for me.Now in future I must be careful when I am going to start the New Relationship.Life is full of experiences and this type of situation is one part of that experience which is prepating you for the future.
@Theresam (1177)
• United States
10 Dec 06
Because we want to make decision ourselves. I have tried to push my girlfriends away from certain guys but it never worked. One of my friends married someone 15 years ago and they are still happily married,it is strange that I never saw what he had in their relationship. I still think he is a jerk but never said that to her after they got married. It is not my place anymore.
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
10 Dec 06
i think its because the whole...LOVE IS BLIND thing..I was with this real butt munch for 7 years..he was abusive verbally mentally and soemtime physically..but there were wonderful times as well..not many of my friends liked him..and they all told me to get out..and i wouldnt listen..it took 7 yrs and almost dying to relize i needed out..but when i did finally see it..my friends were still there for me...I love them so very much..and yes its like were brainwashed when we are with some one lol..
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
10 Dec 06
Love is blind. It is for men too. I hate to say it though, it seems to me that women more often fall for the bad biy then men fall for the bad girls. I could be wrong but that's how it seems to me.
Women either want to change the bad boy into something good or they just like the bad boy image. Men go for the bad girls because they are, for lack of a better word, easy. That may not be the best way to say it but it's all I can think of at the moment.
@ethnicbarbie (389)
• United States
10 Dec 06
It is common..
we think we know it all.
At any age.
It doesn't matter.
And when you are in a relationship..
you think it's the most amazing, fantastic
thing in your life..and nothing can change
that and nothing can take its and his place.
It's a vicious cycle.
As you said..we all do it.
It's difficult to really listen to people..
even the ones that love us and are just trying to help
us..I do believe if it is at all possible to end the
cycle we should try it..at this time I can think of
no way to not think for just ourselves and what we
think is best for us at that time..it's what we are
programmed to do..we are human..and most of all..
we are women.
@Juliephine (286)
• United States
10 Dec 06
I think the reason we women do that is APPROVAL. Women do not like to be rejected or feel like a failure. To split up from a guy usually feels like physical and emotional rejection. Other than that, it could be that it makes sense when they're saying it, but when you're back in your man's arms or looking into his eyes or watching him fix his car or get a drink from the fridge, your emotional side tells you, "aw, he's so sweet, I really love him". This is just my opinion from my experiences.
@kesfylstra (1868)
• United States
10 Dec 06
AMEN! We have been telling my one friend for years that her guy isn't good for her, and she just won't listen.
@eu_ursuletzu (1197)
• Romania
10 Dec 06
hy
you know why?becouse we are allways thinking at the fact that if we do lisen to the advices we get and do as our friends tell us and we will be hurt or something then we have who to blame on...this is the reason.and the other reason is that,in the time we are in that situation and we dont see it like the other ppl(friends) see it and we ar thinking that something could change and be bether.
@marmalaide (470)
•
10 Dec 06
When people are infatuated with another person it's hard for them to think logically or listen to their friends. They always think they know what's best for them, even if later on they have to admit that everyone else was right. To put it crudely, they're thinking with another part of their anatomy ;)
Fortunately most of the time once the initial heady feelings of lust wear off they start to see things more clearly, but in the early stages attraction is a much more powerful force than reason or logic!
