good one to start a week.....

life colors - life colors
India
December 10, 2006 3:34am CST
Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"? Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything " and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE. A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBA ND -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get! ------------------------------------------------------- Doctor 2 husband: Tuaddi biwi te tuadda blood group same hai. Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal toh mera khoon jo pee rahi hai! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!" Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa: People consider me as a "GOD" Banta: How do you know?? Santa: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.. ============================================================ Santa complained 2 Police: Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house. Police: How the thief did not take TV??? Santa: I was watching TV na.... ============================================================ Thought for the Day!!! If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis? Answer: MINIMUM & MAXIMUM ============================================================ When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer: On their Wedding!!____________________________ -- A day without laughter is a day wasted!Chaplin. Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage: Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"? Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything " and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE. A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBA ND -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get! ------------------------------------------------------- Doctor 2 husband: Tuaddi biwi te tuadda blood group same hai. Husband: Hovega kyon ni, 25-saal toh mera khoon jo pee rahi hai! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!" Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa: People consider me as a "GOD" Banta: How do you know?? Santa: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.. ============================================================ Santa complained 2 Police: Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house. Police: How the thief did not take TV??? Santa: I was watching TV na.... ============================================================ Thought for the Day!!! If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis? Answer: MINIMUM & MAXIMUM ============================================================ When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer: On their Wedding!!____________________________ -- A day without laughter is a day wasted!Chaplin.
1 response
• India
10 Dec 06
well....i think there is nothing like that..it all depends on how you manage your life and how you handles the odds in your life...there is nothing about different phases...a man can be anything...superman..doberman...at any stage...its just about time....
• India
10 Dec 06
hey its just ...joke ..dont be serious