How important do you feel that marriage is in this century?

@Lillith (775)
United States
September 20, 2006 6:23am CST
In this very sexually liberated society we now live in, it is so easy to just move in with someone without benefit of marriage. Do you feel that people consider marriage as important today now that living together is socially acceptable? Personally, I do still believe in marriage and what it means, but I have also done the living together thing. I never felt it was the same as being married. So I am just interested in what you all think about this.
2 people like this
11 responses
@MrsFrizzle (1964)
• United States
20 Sep 06
I did live with my husband for a few months before we got married. I can see that things would not have changed much with or without a marriage licence but I wanted to be married. I wanted the ceremony, the party, the commiment. I feel much safer know he is not going to just leave me one day and if he tried to their is a legal system their to make sure we divide things accordingly. I also like the fact that we get more taxes back and I can be on his health innsurance. Sure if we where just living together the love would be the same and our day to day may be the same but we would miss out on a lot. We take advatange of our right to marry and homesexuals are fighting for it. Marriage is a wonderful thing and I am so happy to be married!
1 person likes this
@wolflvr (336)
• United States
28 Nov 06
I totally agree with you. I couldn't have put it better myself.
• United States
10 Jan 07
I think it's archaic and based on women being chattel. But very few people share my views. I'm not in favor of gay marriage, but then again I'm not in favor of straight marriage either. Most people still don't know who they are and they get married hoping the other person will shore up their weaknesses. But when you have two broken pillars leaning on each other, your building won't stand for long.
@Lillith (775)
• United States
10 Jan 07
This is a very interesting point of veiw. I do know a few people who also feel similarly. Your reasoning is solid for the way you feel, and it does make sense. Thanks for sharing your opinion. :)
• United States
20 Dec 06
I was married for 16 years. I think I pretty much got that out of my system. The longer I was married, the more I was taken for granted. My husband only came to appreciate me after I left him. Now I've lived with someone for 6 years. I don't think tax laws should discriminate against unmarried yet committed partners. I also see many people that get married frivilously. They want a 'wedding' and 'the party' as someone put it, but do they really want to be 'married?' I think many women want to be a bride but not a wife. I'm surprised you didn't mention handfasting. I think our mates would take us more seriously if they knew we would walk out after a year and a day if they didn't treat us right. Too many women (and no doubt some men that are too embarassed to admit it) stay in abusive marriages because there is still a stigma in saying you are divorced. There is something archaic about marriage that just smacks of ownership and possession. Both my daughters wanted to get married. That kind of shocked me. Evidently feminism isn't genetic.
@Lillith (775)
• United States
20 Dec 06
These are all very good points. And you are right. I totally spaced the handfasting. That is certainly a way to see how someone is going to treat you in a relationship, if you are bound together for a year and a day only. I also agree with you that too much time is often spent on the wedding with no real thought to the marriage. I have known many women who did just that. Spent so much time planning the wedding and reception and then realized too late, that marriage is NOT either of these things. Thank you for sharing your veiws.
@catchsharad (1328)
• India
28 Nov 06
marriage - marriage
marriage is very important in this century because everyone is very busy in their in own lives.one needs a partner with whom everything can be shared
@Lillith (775)
• United States
28 Nov 06
This is a very good point. Sharing ones life with another special person is one of the best ways to stay happy, and marriage can make that happen. Thanks for your response.:)
@samsonskola (3357)
• United States
28 Nov 06
when i was a teenager, if you moved in with a bg/gf, you were pretty much shut out of the family and labeled as "living in sin". Of course, I was raised in the South, and it was a pretty strict upbringing. If you were living with someone without being married, you were pretty much shut out. Ideals have changed drastically since then, and I admit that I have lived with someone before marriage too. I do still believe in marriage, but I've also been grateful for the lving together period, as it was definitely easier to pack up and leave after realizing the mistake, as opposed to not knowing, getting married, and then having to deal with divorce. I actually think that in most cases, it helps to live with someone before you marry them..it really is in a lot of cases, the only way to REALLY get to know someone before taking the big step of marriage.
@Lillith (775)
• United States
28 Nov 06
Having also been raised in the South, I know EXACTLY what you mean. LOL I also agree with you about living together before marriage. I actually think it is a BETTER idea to see if you are going to be able to stand living with a person BEFORE making it totally legal. Thanks for your response.:)
@janey84 (547)
• Australia
22 Nov 06
marriage bliss - wedding ceremony
I'm now cohabiting with my bf now..we've been together for 4 years..to me marriage is just like an official paper stating that the couple is now a legal wife and husband, by law.. but it won't change anything in terms of love or relationship.Even w/o marriage, couple still breakup and change heart..marriage doesn't secure anything..but of course i would marry,, but that's because it's for traditional stuff..u noe wat i mean..
@Lillith (775)
• United States
28 Nov 06
Thank you for your response, and I DO understand what you mean. To a lot of people, marriage does not really change their habits. If someone is going to be committed, he/she will be committed even without marriage.
@sunita64 (6474)
• India
12 Jan 07
It varies from country to country, specially in India it is still not a respectable thing, people do not respect you if they come to know that you are just living together.So marriage is important here.
• India
28 Nov 06
nothing
@oscarc (864)
• India
21 Sep 06
In this so called sexually liberated society check out statistics of how many people get married every day...no every minute..marriage is above all society fads..
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
21 Sep 06
I don't think it is a necessity. For legal and tax purposes it is often a good idea for couples who are planning on living together for a long time. My fiance and myself have been together about 3.5 years and decided to get married because of tax reasons and the fact that we have custody of my son.
@chalmette69 (3011)
• United States
20 Sep 06
I think people still believe in marriage, or at least I do, living together is not the same as being married. Even though you still share everything, you don't have that commitment, that you do when you have taken your vows. To me it is totally different.