Should we baptize our baby?

United States
September 20, 2006 7:14am CST
My husband and I are trying to have a baby and an issue that always comes up is should we have it baptized? I was raised Catholic and went to a catholic school for 12 years. I however do not practice it as an organized religion in my adult life. I pray and believe there is a god I just do not believe all of the things that particular religion thinks I should. I do not think gay people are bad, I feel aboration is a choice thing (hate that it happens, but it is a choice), plus I don't like going to church when I can speak to god anytime. I think that a God judges you by how good a person you are and not by the mistakes you may make because he gave us all free will for a reason. On the other hand my husband is agnostic and although at times he has said he hopes their is a god he has a hard time believing anything that is not proven with scientific fact or evidence. So the problem is now we will be having a baby and there are a lot of religious people in the family that are expecting a baptism. I feel we should just do it to make everyone happy and it would not hurt because I do want to teach my child about god and Jesus and the great things religion has to offer. He thinks we should not do it. We should teach our child about all different religions and then let them choose what to believe just like he did. So, What is the best thing to do? I really would like to do it and I think it is supposed to go by the mother religion anyway right? However he said he does not want to be a part of it because he would be standing in a church lying about how he will raise his child a cretin way and he does not think he wants to raise it that way but says I can teach him my beliefs of course.. Also if we do not do it how do we deal with the family pressures. Please respond because I would love to hear you points of view on the topic.
1 person likes this
28 responses
@pandino75 (377)
• Italy
21 Sep 06
i think is a mistake to baptize a child because he isn't know the meaning of this. it's a choice that the child should be make if he wants when he's adult.
• United States
20 Sep 06
First off... since your having a child you have to learn how to let people know when there opinions are no longer needed its hard but necessary. After that baby is born everyone will be telling you what to do with your child AND how to do it. In the beginning its rough, it makes you feel as if these people think your an iniot when it comes to raising a kid, but it does get better. On the subject of baptism ... its your choice. My mother did not have any of her children baptized she waited until we were of sound mind and age to make the decision ourselves. I personally am not baptized but both my brothers are. You can still teach your child about god and jesus without them being baptized. In my family a lot of people get there babies baptised for the purpose of naming god parents.I havent given my son any god parents only because most people fail to realize what a god parent truly is... if you and your immediate family members pas away the god parent is the person who takes care of your child for the rest of his/her life i dont really know who i trust enough thats not in my family to do so, no one cares for your child the same way you do.
3 people like this
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
21 Sep 06
I feel that you need to baptize your child.The child will come under the grace of God when he is born to a christian family.There is nothing wrong in baptizing.Baptize your child.Then let the child learn the christian faith.At the time of conformation when your child id about 12-14 years let the child decide whether to get confirmed in the faith or not.So go ahead and baptize.
2 people like this
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
21 Sep 06
I can "kind of" relate in that I've been where you are now. My first three children were born during a time when my husband and I had both fallen away from the Church (both of us Catholic) and thus they were not baptized. The first time, to the dismay of grandparents. The second and third times, the reaction was more like eye-rolling. Anyway, I returned to the Church (though without my husband, unfortunately). I then tried to provide my daughters with some of the education they never properly had, and two of them decided on their own (ages 10 and 14) that they WANTED to be baptized. They were both a little self-conscious because of their age, and luckily our priest was willing to do private adult baptisms for them. (I understand that most adult baptisms are carried out publicly before the congegation at the Easter Vigil). So we had nice private baptisms with just our family - but my husband did not attend. My oldest daughter was not interested in getting baptized. She's still not baptized, and she is now 20. Anyway, I had a fourth child after this, and he was baptized in the traditional Catholic manner, at the age of one month. My husband did not attend this time, either. As a Catholic, my opinion is that baptism provides a sacramental grace, which is objectively real - that is, it's present whether you believe in it or not. Some people say, I will teach my child all religions and let them choose. I know now this is silly and superficial - I just look at my oldest daughter for proof. Would people neglect to speak English to their children as well, so that their children could choose their own language later on?
2 people like this
@Dharris (22)
• United States
21 Sep 06
In my opinnion you should do it for the sake of the child. You plant seeds in you children at an early age and those seeds bear fruit as the child matures. By Baptizing the child you are placing it under the protection of the most high and mighty God. How could you go wrong. You are not delaring or choosing you childs religion but you are protecting the child at an early age from the enemy and we all need that especially our children whom cant think for themselves at that age. So yes place your child in the loving outstretched arms of our heavenly father. That is Gods perfect will for your child.
2 people like this
@sedel1027 (17852)
• United States
21 Sep 06
If you are not religious and are not practicing a religiong that believes it baptism & don't think that you will be ever part of a religion that does such, I wouldn't do it. You should do it to make yourself and your husband happy & to introduce your child into a religion, not because your family wants you to.
2 people like this
@Stiletto (4584)
24 Sep 06
Personally I'm inclined more towards your husband's thinking and think if children were taught to know and respect all religions the world would be a better place. However, if religion is important to you (not your family or friends)and you strongly feel you want your child baptised then you should go ahead even if your husband is not present. If I am reading your post correctly I think your main reason is to keep your family happy and that's not really why you should do it. Also you can teach your child about religion without having to go through a baptism.
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12538)
• United States
23 Sep 06
Do you mind having your baby baptized and your husband not being there? I think that might be the best way. Your husband won't resent it, like he probably would if you talk him into participating and he doesn't want to. And your relatives will be happy (or happier) and it surely doesn't hurt anything. I think it's right you want to teach your child about Christ and his life and teachings, etc. And I also think it's good to educate (ourselves and) our children on the other faiths and philosophies. There is, to me, common ground. And even though all religions and systems are imperfect, being made up of people and having been passed through many human hands, I feel many, ifnot most, began because of something profound which occurred or was discovered. I too have faith, but don't go to church (thus far). I've studied the gospel for almost 30 years, and that works real good for me. I've discovered that one or two simple, yet grave, mistranslations have hidden the message (the grave overcome) and the mistranslations give God a bad rap, but that the final outcome will be not only good, but the best, because God is both perfect, and all-powerful, and all capable. I think you should baptize your baby, and enjoy it.. And maybe enjoy slowly and intermittenly seeking God's face in the other religions too, with your husband over the years..
22 Sep 06
It depends on the intensity of your religious belief. This isn’t meant in a malicious way but if you’re questioning whether or not your children should be baptised perhaps you’re not all that serious about religion, though from your post I can understand you’re approach and stand. I don’t think any harm can come from having your child baptised, if you would like your child to grow up under the influence of Christianity then I would say it’s a must, yet they can always be baptised at a later stage in their life. I don’t have a decisive decision at all. At the end of the day it’s what you can live with and feel comfortable about.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 06
This has also came up with my boyfriend and I. I was raised catholic and he was raised Lutheran. The only difference with your situation and mine is that my boyfriend and I are both Christian. I think that baptism is important because I was raised to think that. I want my baby to be baptized. He has no problem with it because we can baptize the baby twice. I think my baby will grow up in a catholic enviroment...well im not that religious but my kid will grow up going to church and what not...but as she get's older she will have to decide what religion she wants to adopt. So really I'm just giving my kid a little push to follow my families tradition. My bf has no problem with it...and I don't see why yours should either. Well that's just me. Besides It's a good reason to have your family over to celebrate the christianing of your baby....
1 person likes this
@remaster74 (4065)
• Greece
21 Sep 06
Sorry. I'm a christian. An orthodoxe one. I believe the child should be baptized. Tell your husband that when the child grows up will decide on his/her own what religion (or not) to follow. I hope this is not a matter for big fights between you two.
@megean2k4 (403)
• United States
21 Sep 06
I think it would be a poor chioce to do it just because of the pressure from family. Afterall, it is not their child. It is yours and your husbands. Personally, I believe the child should make the decision himself. Yes, teach him/her what you want to, but it needs to be his/her decision. I was 15 when I chose to be baptized and my parents made sure it was my choice and not pressure from anyone. Not only that, infant baptism really does nothing other than getting the child wet.
1 person likes this
@blessonje (1652)
• India
21 Sep 06
he priest who batpized my daughters had a private meeting with me, where I cried. He thought my husband had some kind of psychological problem. The priest who baptized my son did not know until the day of the event that the father would be absent. So, I kind of blind-sided him with it. He mastered his surprise quickly, and never asked about it again
1 person likes this
@moneymind (10521)
• Philippines
21 Sep 06
You should, I see no wrong in baptism and since you are a catholic i assume you know the benifits of having your baby baptize. Here in my country baptisimal ceritficates help alot in acquiring travel documents such as passport. greetings. : )
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep 06
i wanted to do that but was told by churches they dont baptized babies anymore i was told that they wait til the child is older before they baptized him or her
1 person likes this
@1alyssa (758)
• United States
25 Sep 06
no i do not think you should i think that should be something for the baby to decide when he or she gets older what if the child chooses not to be a part of a religion i think that is a choice everyone should be able to make for themselves
• China
23 Sep 06
ghost
@kstanley7 (1172)
23 Sep 06
it is really upto you if you want the baby baptized or not. Besides your husband should respect your wishes on this one as it was you who carried your child and gave birth ( not that easy for us guys )
@Sandy85 (473)
• India
22 Sep 06
Don't baptize him now, that not correct according to the scriputes. Let him accept Christ first get saved then he can take a immersion baptism.
• India
22 Sep 06
its better to go by ur husband's views..bcoz later on in life he shud blame you for anything n you shudnt be regrettin for wat uve done....