How to have a great relationship with my mom.

United States
December 13, 2006 8:37am CST
I will start this off by saying I was a bad kid growing up. I was mouthy with the biggest attitude you can find. I hate my mom because she always knew what was best for my. (Even though I never listened) No that I have 2 kid of my own, I want to have a Mother Daughter relationship. I mean it's ok right now I guess maybe I am just picturing someting like in the movies. I've apologized for my actions on more than one occasion. I don't think I can make it up to her. I mean I'm not that old yet, I'm only 19 so I'm sure there could be a better future for us. Does anyone have any tips so i can get my mom back so we can be best friends?
4 people like this
50 responses
@gnt23tr (1015)
• United States
13 Dec 06
just love her for being your mom and for giving birth to you,,,
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 06
I was alot like you when I was younger. My mom and I did NOT get along at all. (Or maybe it was just me that didn't get along with my mom) She was not someone I would go to for advice, that I usually left to my Step Mom or my Aunt - they were easier to talk to. To me I always thought my mom was trying to "ruin" my life, when in fact she was trying to lead me in the right direction in life. It wasn't until I moved out of the house and had kids that our relationship grew stronger. I pretty much have an open line of communication with my mom, yet most of the time I feel like I'm the mother in the converstaions more, telling HER what to do lol. I guess my advice/tips would be to make sure that you guys have a great relationship. Keep the lines of communication open, don't be afraid to let her know whats bothering you and to talk to her about pretty much anything. Spend time together, talk on the phone daily.
@ambara (345)
• Indonesia
14 Dec 06
according u,make a great relationship between u and mom is sound not easy. open communications, and talk about anything could be help.
@ana3173 (420)
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
i feel the same when i was a teenager then, i am not that close to my mother because shes always shouting on me, over protective, shes always telling me a words that really hurts me a lot, i just want to hurt her in a different way, i did not follow her rules, but now its different, i have my own family, iAm now a mother, and i understand her why is she like that before, why did she told me those things before, the reasons is she just want me to have a good life, thats why she keep on telling me all of those things, so now i realized my mistakes, if only i could turn back the time i will follow her advice always and not to be a rebel daughter before,i wish i could take back those time when i hurt her feelings, i would exchange them with words like, I LOVE YOU or Im so glad youre my mom, but its not too late, now i show her how much i love her, i send her a gifts, we always talk on the phone just to know if she's ok, we always eat together in a restaurant, i always bear in my mind that i owe my life to her, and now i understand how hard to be a mother because just like her, no matter how hectic things may get, mothers are always there for you. even when it seems like theres no time left, they make time for the things they do. and now i realized our Mother didn't mean to make things difficult to us, because they really care so much, and they only want what is best for us.
@amitavroy (4826)
• India
14 Dec 06
its great why do you think it will not be good its a common thing in india everyone in india has a good relation with their mother
• India
14 Dec 06
care her , love her , be with her always , understand her importance that alls i can say !
@Katie247 (64)
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
Mother will always be a mother. If you have been a bad kid, a bad daughter to her when you utter those words of SORRY (you just have to mean it!) and I LOVE YOU (this, too!), I believe that if she hates you for being bad she will turn into a melting ice cream and forgive you. Every mother wants the best for her children, you should know that because you're a mom now. How to have a great relationship with your mom? Treat her like yourself. Let her feel that you love her and saying words of SORRY with ACTIONS would be better than showing it only. =)
@SViswan (12072)
• India
14 Dec 06
I was a lot like you when I was younger. My mother and I never got along and I thought she never understood me. But now that I am a wife and mother, I understand a lot of things that she used to tell me. Not that I agree with everything she said...but I understand the thought behind it and think before I say anything to my kid. I didn't need to really apologize to her. Now that my mother sees that I have sobered down and understood her viewpoint, she is also a lot more understanding towards me. Don't worry about having a daughter of your own. You know that even though your mother was right, the way she put it across probably wasn't. So, you can atleast know how your daughter would refer to be told. Right from the beginning, you can bond with your child by trying to understand them at their level and being open to discussions and things would work out (though there would be hiccups along the way.
• India
14 Dec 06
i cnt say
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
Visit your mother often and offer something to her that you know she likes. Tell her what you feels now that you realized that it is hard to be a mother that you were wrong for not obeying her before.
@Pmcbride (1082)
14 Dec 06
It takes time to build a relationship after it has been broken, You undoubtedly have now realised that what your mom was telling all those years is now true, which is normal, kids often don't listen to their parents until thay have kids of their own, only then do you realise how difficult it is to raise children properly. The length of time it takes to rebuild your relationship really depends on how badly the relationship has been fractured, you will have to give your mother time to get to know and trust you again, But remember a mothers love is unconditional, just show her that you have changed your ways, and that you love and respect her and you will have a good relationship before you realise it. You sound as if you really want this, but it is not as simple as go back and be forgiven, remember that you put this woman through hell, and even after that she still loves you, Just give it as much time as it needs, because every daughter needs her mother and vice versa. Good Luck.
• India
14 Dec 06
U first give some more values for your mom's oppinions....then take some more care for her... U try 2 give her gifts she like and tell her ur prbs open hartly...Then she begin to understand ohhh i am having a place in my daughter's life.....
• United States
14 Dec 06
This is so not that bad. I was the worst kid worrying my mom. Just know there are no tips for this. Start by talking saily about things,the kids etc. be sure to mention how much you love her. It will all fall into play. Do You still live with her. I hope not with 2 kids. If not visit er with the kids. Not leaving them and it will all come together.
• United Arab Emirates
14 Dec 06
i started off the same way. during my younger age, me and my mom never confind in each other anything and i always use to envy my friends who talk about how they spend thier time with thier mom. but when years passes and i moved out of home for studies, a inbound relationship started to grow. I started to call her ocassionally and we started to talk about subject that i never would have guessed i could. now me and my mom share a special bond that time has changed. wait i would say, when time flies both of you will realize this , like they say we tend to appreciate things only after we lose it once!
• India
14 Dec 06
mothers are always forgiving in nature esp. twards their kids. so no problem,u can still have a great relationship doing simple things for her like cooking for her.take her clothes to the laundry,gift her somthing or even better make her somtthing with ur own hands.all this will improve ur relationship.
• India
14 Dec 06
Teen age is very important for u. in this age u have to take decision more carefully. As u mom is more experinced than u. So she always takes right decision anout u. u donot angry with ur mother, She always take care of u
@Sshunya (15)
• India
14 Dec 06
Realization is the master key to improve any relation in this planet. You have realized it, please try to express her anyhow with pure heart. I am sure you will get her back. Try more & more discussions with her. Mother is the only person in this earth which is always with you for everything you need. All the best.
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
there is nothing late when you want to make up or to do any good to others especially when it's your mom... maybe u are just a little shy to her bcoz now you are a mom u now know and understand why she act like that before... u can start it y visiting her with your kids and bring some foods eat together and let your kids play with your mom.. u can invite her also to a park and stroll with her of course with your kids also... when u think u can bond with her alone even your kids are not around then u know that u two can be the best buds now.. what i did to my mm is i used to text her inspirational messages with a note of I LOVE YOU mom at the end of it.. i did it almost everyday.. in the morning and in the night..
• China
14 Dec 06
garruious mom - what s garruious mom!
I don't think mom will really hate her children just because their rude words or deeds. Perhaps they will feel hurt and have some complaints for that. I believe that honesty and love for your mom will change her ideas and make her happy again---show your love to her: help her with something she like to do, take time to stay with her, take care of her mind and body, then gradually you will win back her love.That's true, you are so young that can't completely understand your mom, so you sometimes hate her. But be sure she love you more than you love her.You can have a try.
• Philippines
14 Dec 06
JUST do everything just to make your mom happy.
• United States
14 Dec 06
My mom and I have a great relationship because we are all each other has.