I need some advice.

@hazydazy (783)
United States
December 14, 2006 2:53pm CST
Ok. My sister moved to Philadelphia. She met a guy online and they argue all the time. So what does she do, move in with him 4 hours from home. Now she is pregnant. The guy seemed nice at first, but shortly after she got there he cut off the long distance so she can't call home.The whole situation is messed up. The BF does not trust her and accuses her of cheating all the time. He calls our mother everytime they fight and tries to get her involved. He crys when she does not show enough affection. By this I mean instead of sitting on the couch and watching a movie with him she is playing with her 3 year old daughter. I don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice.
8 people like this
73 responses
@ricki1223 (139)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Drive up to your sisters house and bring her home with you!!
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17854)
• United States
14 Dec 06
That is exactly what I was going ot say to do. Your sister needs to get away from that man. He is abusive. She is better of raising the child alone with the support of your family rather than being with him. You may also try to get your sister some counseling to help with her self esteem so that she doesn't fall into the deadly trap again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
Bringing her home is really up to her sister. So i guess just tell her pro's and con's and leave the decision to your sister.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Dec 06
hey i m completly agree with u.You should bring ur sister at home away from tht man so tht she could be happy and enjoy her life one more thing u all should support her
1 person likes this
@kawillow74 (1417)
• United States
14 Dec 06
What does your sister want does she want out of the relationship or does she want to stay. If she wants out maybe your mom and you can help her to get away. Sound like he is jealous of your sisters little girl that can't be good.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
advise her to move back home
@isha900 (1459)
• India
15 Dec 06
it can be right advice for u
• India
16 Dec 06
yes it is bad for the boy to leave her alone after enjoying her.he should be punished.
@crazy_me (588)
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
Take her away from that guy. He's not mentally stable. That kind of relationship could never get better, only worse. It's already bad enough that your sister is experiencing that. But there are kids involved. Kids can get easily traumatized. Don't let her kids be scarred for the rest of their lives.
@imadriscoll (2230)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I assume that your sister is old enough to make her own decisions. So unfortunately there might not be anything that you can do except let her know that you're there for her. Even though she can't call you, you can still call her. I would call as often as possible to make sure that she's alright and isn't looking for a way out. If you think the situation could get violent I would work on an escape plan with her. Decide where she could go that is nearby, make a plan to find her there. Perhaps you need to open a bank account for her that her boyfriend knows nothing about. Find a hotline number for domestically abused women (these are usually toll free calls) so that she can get the help that she needs. And pray that God will protect her.
• United States
15 Dec 06
This guy sounds like one of those jealous guys that thinks that one person makes his life great or not so great. Your sister needs to wake up and get out of this relationship, but you are in a difficult position because if you push her too hard, she may push you away. I would think about bringing up little things that he does to her all of the time (like accusing her of cheating on him) and let her think about how he is really demanding and doesn't seem to respect her. Don't get into an argument about it, just get her to thinking. Talk to her about how he is jealous of her spending time with her daughter instead of him. The important thing is to get her to come to the conclusion that this guy is no good for her.
@BrendaA (365)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Well no 1, if your sister wants to stay with him, there is nothing you can do. If she does want to leave there is always a way to accomplish that.
@vipul20044 (5798)
• India
15 Dec 06
Well i must admit that she did a haste job in choosing the person and that too relying on someone from net but whats done is done, she should be clear to him and she should tell him that its their baby so its better that he accepts it right And if he doesnt she has the law with her
@calvin222 (1607)
• India
15 Dec 06
actually it primarily depends on what your sister wants. counselling for both is a good solution. it will get to the genisis of the problem.
@parlink (184)
• Romania
15 Dec 06
Get your sister out of there as soon as possible, if you can. That is not great relation four her.
@kristi73 (257)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Sounds like a bad situation from the get go. If it were me, I would be moving back home. First of all, If this started as soon as they moved in together, it can only get worse. Hopefully it has not become a violent relationship yet. Second, that is not a good situation for her daughter to grow up in and not to mention the one one the way. Good luck
• India
15 Dec 06
your point is not clear - you do not say if ur sister is married legally to this guy, because in a living-in relationship, no police intervention or any counselling is valid. only if ur sister is wedded to this guy, he is accountable. moreover, your sis is living in his house and in case she is not married to him, he can always dump her any day. in case she is married, yes, she can go to police and complain that he is ill treating her by discriminating her. with sketchy details, it is unfair to pass any comments nor to give you solid advice. so take the help of a counsellor, that is the best course of action now.
@luskas (3429)
• Portugal
15 Dec 06
Tell her what you feel... Sometimes who is standing outside a relation could help a lot... However a think you should stop right there, do not interfer with their life cause things could go bad for you. Sometimes we try to help but we are misunderstood. Speak with your sister, tell her what you think and help her understand the situation
• India
15 Dec 06
pregnant - pregnancy
its really a bad news.though i am a boy but i still say that the guy about whom are you talking have not done a good job.he should accompany her in his time of danger(pregnancy).
@dawang (124)
• China
15 Dec 06
yes,you can also play with her daughter to close her
@love143 (170)
• India
15 Dec 06
ok ummm i would really love to help but how can i help if you're not asking a question you're just making a statement. . . . . So whenever you ready to ask a question i guess we'll be here to answer.
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Yikes, sounds like red flags all over the place. Can you invite your sister to visit for the holidays? Include the guy, that way he won't feel angry or left out. Stay close to your sister. You don't say how she feels about this. Its a touchy situation, if the father of her preborn baby feels threatened by you, he will isolate her further. Get to know him. It's a bad situation for your neice and everyone. Stay close to your sister, open your home to her. Talk to her about your concerns, but do it in private. Don't verbally attack him to her, but let her know you love her and are concerned. Keep communication open, be prepared for the worst, pray for the best.
• United States
15 Dec 06
pleading hands - Pleading Hands
I would definately get your sister out of there as quickly as possible. I agree with other comments that he will most likey progress to physically abusive behavior, not only towards your sister but her child as well. sometimes men prey on women who have young children- for a purpose. I would be very afraid for them. Do your best to get that man out of her life.
• India
15 Dec 06
i think your sister should not have trusted the boy soo soon. its ridiculous to befriend someone online without even having adequate infor mation.