Cohabitation

United States
December 15, 2006 8:44am CST
There has been a lot of research done which clearly shows that cohabitation before marriage causes divorce rates to double or sometimes even triple. Do you believe this? What are your views on the subject?
1 person likes this
14 responses
• United States
15 Dec 06
I would think that living together would save marriages. If you don't live with someone before you get married and then move in afterward that could cause major problems. It takes some getting used to when you move in with someone. You have to get used to their daily routine and you can tell if they're sloppy or not. I think people SHOULD move in together before getting married to make sure that they can live together under one roof.
• United States
16 Dec 06
That was what I felt about the situation as well. Thanks for your response!
1 person likes this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
19 Dec 06
but then you arent being honest as you are when you are married that is why they change after marriage and the marriage fails
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 08
I agree with this person. IF anything it saves marraiges. You don't fully know someone until you live with them and it's VERY hard to get a clear picture of your mate without spending day in and day out with them. When you don't live together you spend a few hours a day with that person and you don't see how they are when the gloves are off and no one is watching.
• United States
22 Jan 07
I think the reason this "statistic" exists is due to the difference between the types of people who do cohabitate and those who don't. I would think that people who don't live together before marriage are the religious types who also don't believe in divorce under any circumstances, whereas the non-religious people have no problem getting a divorce if need be. Therefore the statistic is based on the types of people, not the cohabitation itself.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Jan 07
I can see your point of view, however, there are still those religious types out there who will file for a divorce in a heartbeat.
2 people like this
@imadriscoll (2235)
• United States
19 Dec 06
If the research "clearly" shows that cohabitation before marriages causes divorce rates to double ... why wouldn't you believe it? I think that the old saying is true, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free!" I think that most (not all) women want to get married and living together is sometimes one step closer to realizing this dream. So when they're living with their boyfriend in hopes that it will lead to marriage that they're on their best behavior. They are trying to prove to their boyfriend's what a perfect wife they'll make and then when they actually get married ... poof! The dream is over and both sides see that living together wasn't a real picture of marriage.
1 person likes this
• Australia
22 Jan 07
A lot of truth there!
1 person likes this
@opinder (423)
• India
22 Jan 07
quite true. this looks like the case with most cohabitors. probably some cohabiting partners marry out of some compromise or compulsion.
• China
12 Dec 07
yes, as long as you two want to get together and you try very hard to fight for your shared dream, i think it doesn't matter to live together. on the contrary, living together is going to help you two achieve a better mutual understanding.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
16 Dec 07
I'd love to know where they got their stats from or who to heck they poled. I lived with three different men. The first to I broke up with instead of marrying. But I married the third one and I'm still married to him. If I had married the other two, I would have been divorced in a year. They were totally wrong for me. But this one is a keeper. Take care
• United States
10 Dec 07
I don't believe those stats. I believe what the best respondant stated -- without living together, you don't know a person and living together grooms you for what married life is like. Marraige is just a piece of paper. It is an outdated institution meant to control and enslave women into male dominance and male ownership.
1 person likes this
• Australia
22 Jan 07
I have seen similar statistics. In counselling married couples who lived together before marriage, one thing continually crops up: "How can I trust him? He slept with me before we were married. How do I know he's not still sleeping around?" There are nearly always suspicions. In a marriage where one man and one woman are pledged to each other for a lifetime, with no pre-marital relationships, there is a much stronger chance of a lifelong harmonious relationship.
@chargoans (940)
• United States
22 Jan 07
I do not believe that cohabitation is the cause for a higher divorce rate. I think that the younger ones getting married nowadays who live in the old ways may be the ones who are causing the high divorce rate. The younger ones who fantasize about a huge wedding then learn that it is a full time job to make it work. Cohabitation is the ultimate test of compatibility.
@annieja (590)
• United States
19 Dec 06
i was married for 11 years. i know have been living with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. we both have been divorced and both are ok with never marrying. i like my independence too much to get married, i guess.
• United States
15 Dec 06
If you mean living together. I thing it helps a person decide if they want to marry. If they can be together longer that way its good. I don't think it has anything to do with divorce.
• India
15 Sep 08
the research result is obvious. when a person cannot live with one person, canot adjust with one person, cannot compromise, do you think they can live with others in such position. obviously not. and gradually if not shortly but atleast at a later date they tend to get separated/divorced. iinstead of adjusting with different men/women being on trials often, better we can do the same thing with only one man/woman and keep ourselves free from all infections.
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
19 Dec 06
I do believe this and I think people rush into it but not out of it into marriage either. they get stuck and dont know how to change their situation
• Singapore
17 Dec 06
It's actually good if both are planning to get married! at least they could be mentally prepared on how will it be once they get married and start a family together!
@sunita64 (6474)
• India
17 Dec 06
I feel those who are cohabiting have a good understanding then only they will marry and marriages with understanding stay. So I feel your believe may not be true.
@Lillith (775)
• United States
16 Dec 06
I don't actually believe this. I feel that it really doesn't make any difference in the divorce rate. However, it does make sense to me that if you live with someone before marriage, you get the chance to decide if you WANT to marry this person. Most of the people who have been living together prior to marriage know that they dont really want to marry, but for whatever reason, whether through family pressure or religious pressure, they get married anyway so as not to look so "bad". From the other side, they also know when they WANT to marry and these marriages have an even better chance of working because they really know each other by that point, as opposed to the couples who never spend that kind of time together first.