Working mom vs. stay at home mom.....

parenting - parenting
@mamashane (1140)
United States
December 17, 2006 9:20am CST
I've posted this discussion before and didn't get any responses so I thought I would post it againd because I think it's a good topic and I would really like some opinions on it! I've been on both sides of this issue & am still torn. I am the mother of 4 children ranging in ages of 4 to 15. I'm currently unemployed after being employed for the past 12 years. I'm LOVING being home but am getting grief from other working moms because I'm home. I'd like other moms opinions on this topic...the pros and cons, what do you think?
2 people like this
14 responses
• United States
13 Jan 07
I tried the stay at home mom thing for 11 months and it was not for me. I became really bored after about 6 months and missed adult interaction. I also spent a ton of money because I tried to kill time by going shopping. Once I returned to work I was so much happier. I love my children and get to spend quality time with them in the evenings and on weekends! I also think that daycare is great socialization for children. I can't stand it when stay at home moms try to get all high and mighty stating that they are better for being at home with their children. It is no better or worse, just different! It is a personal choice for some and for others, they can't afford to stay home, they must work to provide for their family! This will be a topic that will be debated for many years to come! Perhaps you can find something that you enjoy that is party time. Or you can look into a work from home opportunity that will allow you to be at home and make money at the same time. In my spare time, I plan children's birthday parties! I have fun while doing it and make money too! Good luck to your!
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
13 Jan 07
You've made alot of good points. I've been a working mom and a stay at home mom over the years. I've been unemployed for about 5 months, right at the time when the kids went back to school and through Christmas and now into Jan. I have loved it. I love being home, sending them off to school and digging into my housework. Having the time to return phone calls, run errands, and make it to appointments. I have time to get things done. I don't feel rushed at night to get the kids through their homework and baths and ready for bed. It's more relaxed & I find there's more time for my husband also. On the other hand, I really do need to be working and bringing in some extra income for our household. I had a job interview last week and I did get the job and will be starting work next week. At first I wasn't too thrilled about the possibility of joining the "rat race" again, and having to give up my time knowing that my life and home will fall victim to unorganization once again. After that interview, and being hired for the job on the spot....I was thrilled! I'm so excited, it's like it lit something inside of me and I just can't wait to get back to work. My kids are happy for me too so I think that's saying something!
4 Jan 07
I am due to give birth anyday now and altho i would like to go back to work it works out better for us financially if my partner carrys on working as he earns better money than me and as we cant afford childcare im a bit stuck but i dont see nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum the other mums are prob just jealous cos they have to work, id say if you dont have to work and you are happy staying at home then carry on the way you are.
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Thanks, I agree....our children should be raised by us parents, not daycare centers!
@UcoksBaBa (802)
• Indonesia
13 Jan 07
I was the man more liked my wife lived in the house and become home mom and arranged my children, because I be certain of like that then my children will get the affection that more than a mother, and must have been i will fulfil my obligation as a husband to the livelihood my wife and my children.
1 person likes this
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I am a mother of an 8 month old...and if i could find a great job where i can stay at home and make money and be at home while i took care of my son, i would jump on the spot! I've been a stay at home mom for the past 8 months...But i am starting to feel like i dont get any "me" time...So i asked my fiance' if he would stay home and take care of our son while i worked...he jumped right on the offer. I am not against stay at home moms! I am all for it! you spend time with your family and your children, most importantly! You get to mold them and really be hands on with them...
@tambun (95)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 07
Working at home ar better for me. It is because you can monitor your children and make your hubby smile. more time you can spend your children and husband.
1 person likes this
@buddha02 (128)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
I'm also a working mom. i believe that taking care of ur child is priceless. so if ONLY we mother's have a choice, we'd rather stay home..but the situation doesn't agree with us...=(
• United States
13 Jan 07
My goodness how things have changed. Years ago women were given grief about leaving the home and going out to work, now we are given grief if we stay at home. Women are expected these days to have so many roles, we are mothers, income providers, house cleaners, bill payers, ect... I say each to their own, whatever works best for your family. I thinks its great that you can stay home with your children and I think there are alot of working moms out there that wish they could do the same. I am going to be having my third little surprise wonder and wish that my husband made the kind of income where I could spend more time at home. Me personally, I love going to work, but I wish I could balance a bit better. I would rather work part time so I can continue to get my "adult" time and then be able to spend the rest of the time as "mom" time. Ah but only in a perfect world! Anyways back to you, ignore those giving you grief, enjoy every second you can if its what you love!
@Muslimah (811)
• United States
13 Jan 07
im an at home mom. Ive never had a job sence i had kids. so i wouldnt know how it feels to go out and work and leave my kids. I love being with them and teaching them it feels good. I dont know how moms (who dont have to work) can leave there little kids with other people. but sometimes its a must for the mother to go out and work. Nice topic take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 07
if you need the money then go to work. If you can make it without a job then jump in and start enjoying the time. Most people wish they could hvae the opportunity to stay home with there kids. I don't know very many moms who work because they want to. Most moms really wish they could stay home so if you can do it then budget your life around it and enjoy your kids!
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
I am a work at home mom to a 10 month old boy. I wouldn't have it any other way! I love being able to be stay home with him and play and watch him grow! People who say otherwise need to shut it ;)!
• United States
5 Jan 07
When my son was born I took him to work with me when he was only 2 weeks old. I did massage therapy at a wellness center and my clients knew if they wanted a massage there would be a baby in the room! *laughing* Later when he was too mobile to sit still I did hire a babysitter two days a week and compressed all my massages into those two days allowing plenty of breaks so I could still nurse (He nursed exclusively for 7 months and continued nursing with solid foods until a year old). With my birth of my daughter Brianna, my husband and I have made some sacrifices to allow me to stay home with the kiddos full time. There are a LOT of ways to cut back and most people fail to take into consideration the cost of an outside job. Eating out vs. cooking at home. You'll halve your food bill each month by eating at home rather than eating out - minimum. Plus the costs of day care are usually very high. Then wardrobe costs for women in jobs that require a certain uniform, dry cleaning, etc, etc. Gas to get there, wear and tear on the car, etc. I really believe if a husband and wife feel strongly enough that the mother should be home they will find a way to make it happen. We don't have a landline phone. We don't have expensive movie channels. We don't go out for icecream. I do my part from home nad I have several little jobs that bring in money and I can still be home when my son needs me. There are SO many ways to cut back and save if a woman is desiring to be home with her children. It is definately worth sitting down and really plotting out. :-)
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Well I worked before my son was born, but I knew I wanted to stay home with him. It is definently an adjustment, but I love it. I get to see him all day and I saw all of his firsts myself. I was there when he was sick and needed me and He is a very secure little boy. The cons are.. I'm with him ALL day long, and rarely do I get a break. I don't leave work at work, because I'm always AT work. BUt in the end it's more important to me to be with him than it is to go to work.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Dec 06
In my mom life she is handling both working as well as home so it is very difficult only to handled both
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7882)
17 Dec 06
I think every Mom would love to stay at home with their children, it's part of what you picture about being a Mom. However with todays prices it's hard to raise a child on one income so, many mothers have to work. Those are the ones that are bitter. The pros for staying home with your children is endless. I can only think of one for moms that work, and that it teaches children how far one has to go in being a repsonsible parent.