Adult Children and Priorities

Well were they working or just at their homes sitting around. If they were working I think it is understandable and if they were just sitting around their home that is unexcusable.

Well I don't know about other kids, but i always put 100% effort to be any family gathering,events where any of our family members are present. I guess kids now a days find these event boring, but as they grow they understands the importance of family.

I know you were hurt. They will come around in time. They will figure out just how important family is. Don't let it ruin your Christmas.

I have asked that question myself so many times. They tend to be very tied up in "ME". They expect and don't appreciate. I'm sorry that happend to you. Perhaps you can talk to them and tell them how you feel. I'm sorry dear.

Ouch, that does hurt. Were they that direspectful when they were growing up? Do not be embarrassed, they made a poor choice. How many kids do you have? I know you said one of them could not come, is it possible that affected the others?

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know you already have many things going on in your life. But, I know how you feel. My son is 21 and I practically have to beg him to do anything with the family. You can't make them and you can't choke them so you just have to go on and enjoy yourself. More hugs to you!

What age are your children? Mine went through that in their teens and early twenties but family again became important to them as they entered their late 20's. Even my son, whom I'd given up all hope on, shows up these days!

I'm sorry. But some kids are like that. They have their own lives and stuff. So it's hard to be with mommy and daddy sometimes for the holidays.

Do you require them to show up at all family events? Do they get to leave? As a teen, and young adult I prided myself on showing up at all family events, christmas birthdays etc. When my older brothers and sisters skipped birthdays of other siblings or whatever I felt pissed off. Here I was spending my time to cherish a neice or nephew birthday, and felt they should do the same. When their kids games were a priority and decided that was it...I felt that was terrible as well. Also, when they didn't go to my childs birthday I felt resentment. I thought I showed them respect, and was kind to their kids when I bought them presents. Some I took on shopping sprees. When they didn't care to show, it made me more than a little upset. I also felt resentment because again here I had spent my time, and I could have had a life as a teen, or young adult. I no longer talk with my family. It was often a one sided relationship with my brothers and sisters.

I'm sorry for your pain. I guess the only thing I can say is give them the benefit of the doubt and perhaps they truly couldn't make it due to something very important. I personally would let them know how hurt you were by this but don't hold a grudge. Eventually you can hope they realize the importance of family.