Adult Children and Priorities

United States
December 17, 2006 9:42am CST
Our family gathering for Christmas was last night. My brothers, sisters, and their families showed up to share a meal, laughter and love. The only children that didn't show up were mine. I am the organizer of this gathering. They all knew about it well in advance. They didn't show up. I was so embarrassed and hurt by this. Why does it seem that the youth of today have their priorities mixed up. Family doesn't seem to have a lot of meaning to them. They walk to the beat of a different drummer.
2 people like this
10 responses
@kids91911 (4366)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Well were they working or just at their homes sitting around. If they were working I think it is understandable and if they were just sitting around their home that is unexcusable.
• United States
17 Dec 06
They weren't working. My girls never called me. My son did have an excuse, they didn't have transportation.
• United States
17 Dec 06
He just called to apologize.
• India
19 Dec 06
Well I don't know about other kids, but i always put 100% effort to be any family gathering,events where any of our family members are present. I guess kids now a days find these event boring, but as they grow they understands the importance of family.
• United States
20 Dec 06
They will come around eventually.
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I'm sorry this happened to you. I know you already have many things going on in your life. But, I know how you feel. My son is 21 and I practically have to beg him to do anything with the family. You can't make them and you can't choke them so you just have to go on and enjoy yourself. More hugs to you!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 06
WE all had a great time at the gathering without them. They missed out on seeing the joy of the little kids as Santa called them up to receive a present.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I know you were hurt. They will come around in time. They will figure out just how important family is. Don't let it ruin your Christmas.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 06
Two of my children called to apologize. I am waiting for the third. She will most likely just avoid the issue. She has problems of her own that she is dealing with.
• United States
18 Dec 06
I have asked that question myself so many times. They tend to be very tied up in "ME". They expect and don't appreciate. I'm sorry that happend to you. Perhaps you can talk to them and tell them how you feel. I'm sorry dear.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 06
They know how I feel. They said it before I could get the words out of my mouth.
@GardenGerty (105224)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Ouch, that does hurt. Were they that direspectful when they were growing up? Do not be embarrassed, they made a poor choice. How many kids do you have? I know you said one of them could not come, is it possible that affected the others?
• United States
17 Dec 06
Thanks Gerty....just sent you a private message. : )
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
19 Dec 06
I'm sorry. But some kids are like that. They have their own lives and stuff. So it's hard to be with mommy and daddy sometimes for the holidays.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 06
I'm sorry for your pain. I guess the only thing I can say is give them the benefit of the doubt and perhaps they truly couldn't make it due to something very important. I personally would let them know how hurt you were by this but don't hold a grudge. Eventually you can hope they realize the importance of family.
• United States
20 Dec 06
Do you require them to show up at all family events? Do they get to leave? As a teen, and young adult I prided myself on showing up at all family events, christmas birthdays etc. When my older brothers and sisters skipped birthdays of other siblings or whatever I felt pissed off. Here I was spending my time to cherish a neice or nephew birthday, and felt they should do the same. When their kids games were a priority and decided that was it...I felt that was terrible as well. Also, when they didn't go to my childs birthday I felt resentment. I thought I showed them respect, and was kind to their kids when I bought them presents. Some I took on shopping sprees. When they didn't care to show, it made me more than a little upset. I also felt resentment because again here I had spent my time, and I could have had a life as a teen, or young adult. I no longer talk with my family. It was often a one sided relationship with my brothers and sisters.
@LovingIt (5398)
• United States
20 Dec 06
What age are your children? Mine went through that in their teens and early twenties but family again became important to them as they entered their late 20's. Even my son, whom I'd given up all hope on, shows up these days!