Outrageous amount for a Kris Kindle?

Ireland
December 17, 2006 11:35am CST
Christmas has become extremely expensive and it was with delight that we received a phonecall from a relative on my husband's side recently asking if we would do a kris kindle. My husband has four sisters and one brother who we find increasingly difficult to buy for, as well as his five nieces and nephews, not to mention his parents. My husband said he'd be interested but he was horrified when his sister said that the kris kindle would be for siblings only (it didn't include me or the kids, or any of the other nieces/nephews, or his parents), and she then mentioned that maybe 350 euros (that's approximately 400 US dollars I think) would be a good amount. She said that she was fed up getting "crap" Christmas presents. We're shocked! We honestly expected her to come up with maybe 50/100 euros max. I'd love to hear what other people think of this.
3 people like this
22 responses
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
I thought the idea of a Kris Kringle was to save money. If your husband's sister is fed up getting crap Christmas presents then I wouldn't bother giving one to her. Just tell her that she is so difficult to buy for, that you couldn't risk offending her. As a matter of fact just tell the truth and say you are not interested, that seeing as how your children are not included, you would rather spend the money on them. She needs to take her head out of the clouds.
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Thank you. Yes, we were also offended at her thoughts that our Christmas presents were "crap". This girl obviously doesn't abide by the idea that it's the thought that counts.
@mansha (6301)
• India
17 Dec 06
I second this- just skip her present this year and buy stuff for yourself and kids. At least grwnups shouldn't stoop so low asking for the presents.Just tell her you went broke this year because of what you bought for her last year on christmas .
1 person likes this
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Thank you for your reply. We just heard that all of my husband's siblings are in the Kris Kindle for 350 euros. They never even bothered to let us know that they were going ahead and not including him in it. We will buy for the children anyway.
• United States
18 Dec 06
I don't find Christmas all that expensive. But we only buy for our kids. We don't get gifts for our parents, siblings, nieces or nephews. They don't expect us to get them anything but a card and some pictures and we don't expect anything from them. My dad gets mad when I spend my money getting him things because he would rather us spend it on the kids. If you feel it is too expensive then stop buying for them. This year I am making homemade ornaments for family and friends to show them I care (I have also done this in the past). They don't care, though. They all know I love them. They don't need me to buy them an expensive gift.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
That's the way it should be. I believe that Christmas is for the kids. The rest is about getting together, re-uniting, and having a good time. My husband made the suggestion that we should only buy for the children, but he was shot down immediately by one of his sisters who said that she doesn't have any childen. Yet, when he was single, it was ok for him to spend 100s on expensive presents for the other girls' kids. But then, there is a whole issue raging there about our kids. My husband is their step daddy and his siblings won't accept them as their nieces. His brother is the only one with any decency in him that way. Earlier this year when hubby's sister got married, she refused to invite our children to her wedding as she said they weren't part of her family. So, I think by doing the Kris Kindle in this way, they had every intention of cutting me and the kids out of everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 06
Okay, if it were me I just wouldn't buy for them if they are going to have that attitude. If you husband accepts the kids as his own then they should, too. In out family blood has little to do with who is actually family. I have step-cousins and I never even think of the fact that we aren't related. They are just my cousins, as are their kids. We are all one family united by the love we have for each other. Heck, we have friends that we hold just as close as our actual blood family members. During family events any family member can bring a friend (girl friend/boyfriend/just a friend) and they will be accepted with open arms and be invited back the next year, too). If his sisters are going to be stingy, immature and rude I wouldn't get them a dang thing. Isn't that the kind of stuff Santa gives coal for, lol. I don't think the childless sister deserves to get anything from anyone. I still say you and your husband should by for your kids and maybe something small for your parents. Get everyone else a card. The adults shouldn't be fishing for gifts. The gifts should be for the kids. We as adults are past that and should get enough joy out of just seeing each other. I no longer expect gifts and I haven't for a long time.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Thank you. You sound like a lovely person.
@nancygibson (3738)
• France
17 Dec 06
I don't understand the Kris Kringle thing you mention, I havent heard of that tradition before, but in our family its all about giveing a small token of apprciation, and it doenast matter if it cost nothing at all. Often we give home made gifts, what is important is the thought not he value, I'm shocked that anyone would put a value on a gift of love.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Hi The Kris Kindle started out as a fun thing. What happens is a group of people put their names into a hat. Everyone draws out a name and buys that person a present. Most people who do it, do it for small amounts. My family do it for 10 euros or under. Of course a home made present would be welcomed too. But my husband's siblings like to receive big expensive gifts. They always have, so they have missed the point of the Kris Kindle and twisted it to suit themselves. To give you an idea of what they are like, one of them threw a major sulk two years ago because we wouldn't buy her a kitchen dresser for Christmas. Another one got upset because she wanted a mobile phone and sneakers for her three children (we're talking Nike here). Another one wanted a video camera.
• France
18 Dec 06
Ah with you now, we call this a Secret Santa, its common in offices etc. I would just ignore their demands, its about giving a gift from the heart, not being held to ransom over the number of noughts on the end of the reciept. They sound very selfish, nearsighted people I'm afraid. If they don't want junk, why not buy them a charity present (like sponsor a new well through Oxfam or something) in their name. Thats the ultimate in generosity
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Thanks for that.
• United States
18 Dec 06
Oh my gosh, is she daft? It sounds like she came up with the idea only so she could get a better gift. She sounds selfish and greedy to me. I would just tell her "sorry, we will have to pass, we can't afford it". Then I think I would just get everyone a scratch off lottery ticket if you have them where you live.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
I can just see their faces now at receiving their lottery ticket. Thank you!
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
18 Dec 06
If someone told me they were tired of getting "crap" for Christmas, I would probably go out in the back yard (we have three dogs) and fill a box for them! Well, I really wouldn't, but it would be tempting. It is so sad that secular Christmas is all about money! It is a holy day. My husband's family does a gift exchange and it does take the stress off of gift buying, and we have a reasonable limit; my own family is small so it's not such a problem. For an adult to expect such an expensive gift is absolutely unreasonable and selfish, especially since she wouldn't include the in-laws and children!
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Thank you. I totally agree with your view.
18 Dec 06
just to point out, its Chris Cringle, not Kris Kindle
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
I think it's incredibly bad manners to correct another's spelling. It shows a lack of breeding. If you go to www.dictionary.com and type in Kris Kindle, you will see that this is there. Thank you.
@micheller (1366)
• United States
18 Dec 06
i think that that is ridiculous. you shouldn't tell someone how much to spend on you for a gift. a gift is a gift and you should just appreciate that you atleast got SOMETHING.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
This is true but the problem starts when some people don't appreciate the gifts they receive. Myself and the husband bought gifts that were considered "crap" and so no one wants out gifts any more. They want us to spend more on them.
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
18 Dec 06
That is insane! The whole idea behind Kris Kringle is to be able to save money. Rule with my family even though we celebrate two holidays is that no one is to spend over $20. I also do not buy for my sister's spouse (she is the only married one)but will sometimes but a gift that is for both of them. For us it really is not about the presents, well for the kids it is, but the time we get to spend with each other.
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Thank you. I'm glad to see that others feel the same about Christmas.
@joshdale08 (2325)
• Philippines
18 Dec 06
pardon my ignorance but, i'm not sure i understand the concept of a kris kindle. do you mind explaining it to me? thanks!
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
A kris kindle is a fun thing designed to cut down on spending so much at Christmas time. Everyone puts their name into a hat and pulls a name out. Then they buy for that person. Usually everyone is told not to buy over a certain amount.
@ozangel82 (754)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Yeah I do think that is quite excessive as even if it wasn't a kris kringle thing you probably wouldn't have spent that much, or at least i know i wouldn't. One thing though, was it 350 euros each cos that is very exorbitant! I am australian and this year we have made agreements with the family that we are spending around $50 on the family, not including immediate family such as our own kids and my partner etc. I will probably spend a bit more aswell on my best friend but mostly because I know she gets me lots of things and I don't wanna feel like a bum lol. But as i said my sisters in law etc are getting $50 spent on them, or if we buy a combined gift for her and her partner around $100 etc
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Thank you. Yes, the 350 euros is per person and I must add that my husband is the only one working in this family.
@Bevsue (251)
• United States
18 Dec 06
Please explain this 'Kris Kindle' custom. We don't have this in America.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Well briefly, the Kris Kindle started out as a fun thing. What happens is a group of people put their names into a hat. Everyone draws out a name and buys that person a present. Most people who do it, do it for small amounts. This rules out the expense of everyone buying everyone else a present.
@baysmummy (1639)
• Australia
18 Dec 06
OMG, that is alot of money to be spending on one christmas present! My fiances family do a kris kringle for the adults and we have to buy one persent for that person to the value of $50 or more (that is australian dollars) and then of course we buy each of the kids a present because i believe that christmas should only be about the children! Also i just checked and $350 Euros is $457.6252 US and about $550 australian!
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Yes, I also think the Kris Kindle between adults, and then a pressie for the kids is the best way of doing things. That is what we are now doing. Hubby got a phone call from his brother to say that he will be buying for our girls, so we will get him something too, maybe something small from the girls themselves.
• United States
18 Dec 06
yea, some people are just too greedy
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
You said it. It's sad because I think they miss out on the meaning of Christmas.
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Wow, that's a bit steep! With my sisters, even when we're all working I doubt it'll be anything past €100. His sister is being incredibly selfish.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Thank you. You are right. It is very selfish to ask for this. If my family had chosen to do the same thing, then that would have been 700 euro for two presents. That's before buying for children, parents, and the expense of dinner, clothes etc.
1 person likes this
@scarymary (124)
• United States
17 Dec 06
We do something like that because we have a large family and it would be crazy to buy everyone something! We either call it Dirty Santa or White Elephant. Last year we did it for $50 but this year we are only doing $10 gifts. We don't expect the gifts to be that good, actually we are hoping for a lot of gag type of things because it's fun! I think that how much she wants you guys to spend is super steep!
1 person likes this
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Thank you. Yes, from speaking to other people, they also do a Kris Kindle amount of between 10 to 50 euros. I think small gifts are nice and they can definately be more fun.
@cheongyc (5075)
• Malaysia
18 Dec 06
I think we need to judge wisely base on our own budget. Your relative should be considerate. If we are rich, we will be more than happy to give more. But if the amount is more than expected, then we should think twice before it get us into the trouble. The original purpose of celebratin occasions to make all of us happy, and not only on the gift. I think people who are thankful will feel happy on whatever people give them as a gift. It's the meaning of the gift, not the value of gift that matters. If we feel unhappy and blaim people giving us crap gift, i can see there is meaningless for you to do the celebration and defeat the purpose of giving the gift. I mean, it's the attitude problem. What you can do best, is to give gift in voucher or cash certificate, which is more flexible for them to choose what they want. When you are connected to a big family, it's really difficult to satisfy everybody needs. Just hope that they will be considerate in the future.
@medooley (1875)
• United States
18 Dec 06
What a selfish individual... Everyone knows that if you are trying to save money you still spend money on the kids... Come on. $400 for your sister... WOW! I don't even spend that on my wife.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 06
That is crazy! A "grab bag" should be for everyone especially since the family is so big. This way a good gift can be bought and no one can complain,if they don't like it,then they don't have to participate. Not everyone has all that money this time of year.
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
Thank you for your reply. Is a grab bag similar to a kris kindle? I'm glad there are so many understanding people around. It restores my faith in humanity.
• United States
18 Dec 06
Yes i think so. we put our names in a bag with 3 things that we would like on it and then we pick,it is alot easier and cheaper on my checkbook.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
18 Dec 06
Oh I see. That's a nice idea. With the Kris Kindle no gift is specified, just that you don't spend over a certain amount.
@Metallion (2231)
• United States
18 Dec 06
Being from the U.S. I'm not familiar with Kris Kindle's I'm guessing it's like a "secret santa" that we do in the U.S. I'm be offended is someone told me I had to spend that much. Many people can't afford that much. If she's sick of getting "crap gifts" then she doesn't know the spirit of the holiday.
• Australia
18 Dec 06
Secret Santa, Pollyanna, Kris Kindle or Kris Kringle, and sometimes, but rarely Gnoming is a Christmas ritual involving a group of people exchanging anonymous gifts. The ritual is known as Secret Santa in the United States and Great Britain but Kris Kindle in parts of the Commonwealth; both terms are acceptable and used in Australia or New Zealand. All of these names derive from traditional Christmas gift-bringers: the US version is named after Santa Claus while Kris Kindle and Kris Kringle are corruptions of the name of the German gift-bringer Christkind (in Britain the traditional gift-bringer is Father Christmas). The term Secret Santa can refer to the ritual itself, or any of the people participating. The purpose of Secret Santa is to restrict gift-giving. Because of this, it is often practised in workplaces, or amongst large families. Recently the name Secret Snowflake has been showing up as a secular term for the same practice.\, which has attracted much criticism, particularly with Christmas being the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.
@jal1948 (1361)
• India
18 Dec 06
What more could u ask for? Merry Christmas.