Help I have a friend getting Invtro... not real sure how to talk to her....

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Ok I know some of you are asking why am I having a hrd time talking ot her. Well let me run down a little bit and then you will see where I am at. Her hubby is the one with the problem. Not her. They first tried drugs for him and that did not go to well for them. THe only option is Invtro. So they were talking to the Dr and he told them that their insurance will not cover any part of it. THe whole thing will cost them $9925.00. So here is where the problem lies. She has been talking to family and friends about it... mostly asking for their help. Well some of them have kids that are young and deserve a Christmas and some of them are just tapped out. She then went further and asked the church and has even called her grandmas friends for help. Well his (her hubby) mother does not have the money to fork out. She wants them to have a nice holiday and went out and got them gifts. She then told them that she does not have the money and that she is really sorry and all that... you all know how it goes. Well she called me to tell me all about this and then said " Well I guess she does not want to see her grandchild". Now here is what I am having an issue with. I can not stand my mother in law at all. Not for silly reasons but for real reasons... we live in the south but we came from the Chicago land area. We went up there for my kids bday (her first). Her and my hubby got into a little tiff and she refused to show up to her party. Now I guess I need to let that go but she went around telling the rest of the family that I told her things that I would never say to her... I would tell you all but mylot will not let me post with the words. Any how to make a long story short I will not take that away from her... I will always make it a point for her to see my kid. There is no doubt about it. I may not stay really long but Iwill make it a point to show her that we are there. I told my friend that she was in the wrong and that it is not everyone elses obligation to pay for this. If she wants a kid that bad she can take a loan out or make payments to the place. I also told her that if she does not want to take a loan out then she should wait till they have all the money... I think that is the right thing to do. Who wants to bring a kid in this world and not have any money to their name? It does happen but if you can prevent then why not? Well here is what I need from you guys... how on earth to I just keep my mouth shut? It is not an easy thing to do. I do not want to hurt her but then I do not want to hear that she is being silly about it all. If anyone out there has had this done and wants to give me heads up on what to expect... please do. And for those of you who have advice for me please let it roll! Thanks guys... this is one of the best places to get help from....