love as not selfish
December 18, 2006 1:47am CST
I'm confused. I really love him so much. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. But how can you trust a person who cheated on you a lot of times right? Sometimes, I got paranoid, there are times it was an intuition. Before, all my intuitions came out true. But now, in my current situation, how can you identify the difference of it? When he asks favors from me, I'm scared to reject him. There's a feeling he'll find someone who can give all what he wants. He lied to me thousands before so I dont know if he understand my situation, especially when I yelled at him on the phone or via chat. Which then I realized that is too much but I can't help it. My mixed emotions are overflowing in my mind. They said, once a liar always a liar. I believe in that, but some are reasonable. Plus this one, once a cheater always a cheater. Oh no! I dont want to end up with the same guy again with the same situation. It's like a routine. Well, I've seen his efforts though. In this long distance relationship, he find time to call, chat, call, chat, do you think it's enough? Love is not selfish. I used to give love and don't expect in return. But as a lover, you'll just end up in pain. Better be a fighter and at the same time a lover. How can I trust him? Do you think I still love him despite the worst past or it's just me who dont want to let go a person I've known for years? I'm really really confused and stress! Sometimes, I want to regret all of this but I'd rather think that love is great it's just hard to understand the pain.
19 Dec 06
if you really love him, you should trust him. but it is said that trust is like a crystal ball, once damage the mark will be there forever. remember that no one is perfect. if you bf have had lied to you, have had cheated to you, forget about it, move on and live a new life together. it depends if your bf admitted his fault and was sorry in the past. but don't also forget to love yourself. if you think he have hurt you so much. if he have caused you too much pain then i think its time to forget him and move on. don't waste your time to someone who is not deserving for your time and affection. you deserve someone better who would love you more. don't think of the span of time that you were together, think about what you are when you are together. pray.pray.pray. ask for guidance on what to do. if you were really meant together, no matter how rough your road is, you'll be together. good luck to you.
19 Dec 06
You said you love him right? Then I guess your love is enough to get you through all of these (problems). However, if you think that your relationship is going nowhere (him being a CHRONIC liar, cheater), then maybe it's time to let go. Of course 4 years is quite a long time but what is 4 years compared to the next years to come. If he continously hurts you then he's worth worth your love and your time. you are young & beautiful and the whole world is ahead of you. =)
• United States
20 Dec 06
Yup, I think you're definitely right that if a relationship is going nowhere it's really time to let go. Wow, thanks a bunch. So far, we're quite good hehe. I know, the other day was a bit odd and had teary eyed but I just can't get enough of loving him. Hugsootights.