Vaseline and Harleys

United States
December 20, 2006 1:54pm CST
Mick wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck, until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Mick a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Michelle, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Michelle stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Mick is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Mick decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Michelle. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no-one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Mick remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
1 person likes this
3 responses
@mirage108 (3403)
• United States
21 Dec 06
lol that is good I really did lol so hard that it brough tears to my eyes.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Dec 06
i love that u liked it so much
1 person likes this
@blueman (16513)
• India
30 Dec 06
A man had a weird illness. Whenever he broke wind, it made the sound "honda". He asked his doctor about it but the doctor after months of tests and literature-reading, could not figure it out. Finally,just before he was about to give up,he has an idea! "I'll call Honda Company in Japan and ask the company doctor!!" Well, he called the Japanese doctor and was told by him to see if the patient had an abscess in his teeth somewhere. Sure enough, there is, and when it was treated the other affliction ended! When the doctor asked his Japanese counterpart how he could make such a great diagnosis over the phone from such a long distance away the man replied, simple: Abscess makes a fart go honda!!!
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
29 Dec 06
That's a very good one, I like it. LOL!!!!