Would you tell your adopted child that he or she was adopted?

Philippines
December 20, 2006 10:42pm CST
If you were to adopt a child, would you tell him or her that he/she was adopted years later or would you keep it a secret? If you were to tell, how would you go about telling him or her?
2 people like this
9 responses
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I think it is wrong to keep it a secret, secrets have a way of coming out. If a child learns later in life that they were adopted and it was kept from them, thats when they would feel anger, resentment and other strong emotions. I think it should never be a secret, if the child grows up knowing that they are so special and wanted by the adopted parents, they will have less problems.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Dec 06
Yeah one way or the other the child would eventually know.
@ssh123 (31100)
• India
21 Dec 06
When the child come of age say 12 to 14, while assuring of love and affection, it is better to tell the child about it. If it is later, then there could be some relationship complications.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 07
My son was adopted when he was three, so he's always known. But from the perspective of an adopted child, please, please tell the kid, as soon as they're old enough to understand. I found out by accident when I was 12 (I overheard an argument between my bitterly divorced parents), and that was *not* the way to find out. Someone will slip up one day and they'll know the truth, so it's best to come from you in a safe and comfortable setting where you can answer their questions and help them understand.
• Philippines
14 Jan 07
Thank you for the response, coming from a person who experienced it. I guess we can't really keep it as a secret for it is bound to to come out one way or the other.
@adnan82 (673)
• Pakistan
24 Jan 07
i will. wait for the rite.them wait for my child.. to gRow up a little.. 8...9 yrs old... then. tell. him/her.that...u have been adopted by us. from so so .. place.. .
@anyutza (138)
• Romania
24 Jan 07
If I were to adopt a child I would tell him that he/she was adopted when I think the moment for that discussion will come.then it`s up to him what he decides to do,i`m only there to support him like he was my child
@flikkenni (537)
• Indonesia
13 Jan 07
I will tell them if they are mature enough to know about. I hope they will understand about this and can accept this situation. If they want to know why do you adopt or who was they real parents you should tell them honestly as you don't want to hurt their feeling.
@delaney36 (817)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
I would tell him the truth in the right time and right place. Right time? when he is old enough to understand the situation. I want for the child to know from me than for him to discover it from others. How to do it? I guess just present to him the plain truth.
• India
11 Jan 07
It all depends on the age of child. Look after the child with all the love and affection and when the child has grown mature enough inform him/her about this. Be frank and honest in your approach and say to him/her the family background, the reson for adoption etc..
@natuser28 (907)
• United States
21 Dec 06
That is a tough question. I think its best to tell them soon as they can understand about life.