Are there people you simply dislike having to deal with?

Singapore
December 22, 2006 7:58am CST
Are there people you don't really like to see or even talk to but you really have no choice but to do it? Could be your boss, in-law, good friends' spouse/partner etc? How do you deal with situations where you need to spend time with these people due to obligation especially when you simply wish you don't have to?
1 person likes this
50 responses
• United States
22 Dec 06
There is not a person I know that does not have some amount of dislike of a certain person or persons. Whenever people say "I hate that person". I tell them that if we focus on what we don't like about a person, you will dislike them. But, when you focus on what you like about someone, that person's true light will shine through. One of my friends (who is no longer with us) was so caustic. She could be so miserable. She have nasty things to say about just about anything. But, this woman had a heart of gold. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. Her friends were few because of her personality. I am proud to say that I was one of her closest friends.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
I know what you mean. A lot of times, I hear people do complain about another, but I normally brush it off. Like I mentioned earlier...my tolerance for people is usually quite high. I overcome it by practicing my forgetful nature on certain people, so if they do something really nasty, I just simply brush it off and forget it.
@marrry (341)
• Romania
23 Dec 06
i hate liers and people that u can t trust ....
@snowflake5 (1579)
• United States
22 Dec 06
My main method of dealing with people I don't like is to avoid them. When it's impossible to avoid (eg a family occasion with inlaws) I make sure there are plenty of others there, so I don't have to talk much to the object of dislike, plus I exercise massive control in being neutral and strictly avoiding any controversial topic. Of course this is much more difficult if the person you dislike is your boss as you see them every day. In this case, look for another job/try to get a transfer to another department. It's simply too stressful dealing with someone you loathe on a daily basis.
• Singapore
22 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Point noted. :)
@ZEZDBBMM (143)
• China
23 Dec 06
me too
@yuva11 (50)
• India
23 Dec 06
Still everybody face the same problem in their life and so nothing can be done and the only way is to adjust with them and lead our life.I had a person now too who does not want to tell me anything regarding the work information or to help me but he acts as if i am his best friend in our company.It all happens adjustment is only wat i can say...
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Dec 06
Oh yes, when it comes to office environment, these things happen. When I was till working in a US MNC, I often helped people and even unselfishly just teach and share information. To me, I find that life is so short, so what if I have that momentary "glory" by being like a star employee? All these will go away in no time. But then, it's quite discouraging when people treat you like some kind of fool for sharing, happily take what you have to offer and pretend to be your best friend but will never render any help should you need one. So, corporate life was something that I know I won't be able to fit in in the long term. As such, I had to plan an exit plan and that's what I did in 2003. Having said that, I still made a lot of close friends and are still in contact with them till now.
• Malaysia
23 Dec 06
Hm...This is a nice question. If I would name who,it would be my customers. They scream and question alot. Especially if something goes wrong with the billing. If we don't face them and explain then they will make some cold remarks and tell them off to other customers who will think twice whether to take our products. As the golden rule for us in the service line "CUSTOMERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT". So, be nice and smile*
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Actually, even myself as a customer, I never really believed that customers are always right. I still think that we have to be reasonable about things. Some customers can really be difficult. Like, in restaurants, some will complain to the waiters/waitress about how long it takes for their food to arrive, etc.
@shiboleth (270)
• Canada
23 Dec 06
There are always people that one must deal with whom one does not care for. There are people in my church who I find are difficult and I am not fond of them. But I remember that they are good Christians and that it is not my part to judge. So I try to remember humility and forebearance and that is how I get through the interactions.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
good for you!
• United States
23 Dec 06
yes their i dislike my husband cousin because he has no respect for women and dont know how to treat them he abuses them and treats them like a piece of trash,when i have to see him i dont really talk to him unless he says something to me im not rude to him i just be civil to him because he is family and its out of respect for my husband that is why i do it.
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
great approach. and yes, often than not, we still have to be civil to these people, especially when it's your relative and some due respect is still necessary.
• Canada
23 Dec 06
My dads gf is really fake and she alwys has this big cheesy smile at me like im her favrite person int eh world and really I know she dosnt care at all she does it to make my dad like her more. I hate going over there becaue they are always fawning all over each toher and watching my dad kiss somebody all the time is just gross who wants to see there dad acting like that. Eww.
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
that must be tough to handle. :(
@nilzerous1 (2435)
• India
23 Dec 06
Thanks for pointing out that. There are people like you have pointed out in everybody's life. I have one in the form of my ugly ex-boss, who used to pinch me for no reason. Anyway, I could do nothing but to digest and continue working. Good news is that the person seems to loose all his spirit and now-a-days seems to have changed quite a bit probably getting frustrated by the fact that I would ignore his every comments, actions and gestures.
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
oh yes, some people needs the attention. :)
@DanHibiki (422)
• United States
23 Dec 06
I can't stand my boss and co-workers. I basically deal with them by keeping to myself.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Oh dear, ever think of changing job?
@alchemistrx (2569)
• Philippines
23 Dec 06
Yes, there a lot of people I don't like to see but I have no choice because I see them everyday. I just avoid them as long as I can so I cannot confront bigger problems and add up to my own.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Yes, sometimes there's really no alternative. Just have to deal with it.
• Canada
22 Dec 06
I usually tend to just ignore them. I never go out of my way to see them and try to be out of their site as long as possible. Usually people who I dislike know it and don't talk to me...so it's never really a BIG problem for me.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Yes, that's true.
• Ireland
22 Dec 06
If I have to visit or meet somebody I don't particulary like, I usually tell somebody in my family to phone me at a certain time and pretend their is an emergency at home. I politely excuse myself and tell them I am sorry, but something has come up and I need to get home in a hurry. Of course, if I need to see the same person again, I have to think up another excuse.
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Haha, that's funny! But you really go through all that trouble? Hey, but one day you will run out of excuse.
• Canada
22 Dec 06
There are many people you meet in day today life. But not all of them are worth keep as friends. Some people are to be kept like they are, I mean not to be introduced or befriended. There are others after befriended show their true colours. We should be careful of such people.
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Agree with you.
@mauier113 (688)
• Philippines
22 Dec 06
I cannot hide my dislike to these kind of people. I usually ignore them, if I have to mingle with them not by my choice. I cant pretend to a sitution that I have to be nice to them. Though I wouldn't do anything mean to them also.
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Thanks for your response. Life is like that, there is nothing much we can do except to adopt the best approach for us.
@volschenkh (1044)
• South Africa
22 Dec 06
This topic hits a sensitive spot with me. Yes I have a few people that I intensely dislike, but I have to work with them on a daily basis. Most of the times its bearable, but then some days its just becomes to much to handle. I am a kind of person who dislikes confrontation, so I tend to just always be collegial about it all the time. But then a pshycholgist gave me the good advice. I must imaging myself being a lion in the wilderness. Each lion marks his territory and growls when another male steps inside that territory, and ultimately there are not that many fights between lions in nature. The analogy here is that its important to "growl" regularly to inform someone when they are overstepping their boundaries or my belives and values. This will lead to less confrontation in the end. I hope this makes sense! Bottom line, let the people who you dislike know subtly what you stand for and if you think they are overstepping their boundaries, dont just let it be, other wise you will be forced to go into a more serious confrontation with them, which is always of a ugly nature.
• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Great advice. I think this is great. Talk about animal instinct, I think human also works the same.
@juls2me2 (2151)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I find myself avoiding the people I'd rather not be around. Sometimes its my in-laws and right now my sister and her son. The main reason I try to avoid them is because I know myself, I don't agree with the way they do things and I know I won't be able to hold my tongue easily. When something is wrong its wrong and unfortunately for me, my opinion finds its way out in subtle ways to make things right.
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
Yes, understand, I find that usually, I have pretty high tolerance for people, but if someone really gets into me, I will avoid as much as possible to prevent myself from doing things that I normally don't do. And then, things may get uncomfortable.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I attend a lot of dinner-meetings for educational purposes after work. These meetings are generally attended by a core group of people in the field, about 10-15 usually attend, and there is a speaker for the presentation. We all get along great and have a lot of fun except for 1 person who tries to manipulate and dominate every issue and conversation. She's unwilling to listen to other points-of-view, and is very opinionated. She irritates me so much that sometimes I find it very difficult to ignore her, which I try to do. It's easier if I just accept that she is the way she is, and I try not to feed into it by even talking with her, which I know will be a "bad" experience. I've gotten good at being polite and cordial, and then heading for the opposite end of the table!
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• Singapore
23 Dec 06
You know what, I personally find that it's hard to find people who are willing to listen. When I was still working in a big corporation, I guess the whole idea is to "be heard" as such, during meetings, everyone wants to talk and no one listens. Well, I listen to everyone and in my mind, I just find it hilarious because everyone's talking and no one's listening and at the end, no conclusion. :)
@sunshinecup (7881)
22 Dec 06
Yes and we can say it's my boss. This woman prides herself on getting her rear kissed daily. I don't oblige, so I am scum to her. I don't care, I keep focus on the big picture, bless her heart and keep on doing the right thing everyday. People like that may succeed in their work place, but outside it they are the biggest flunkies you've ever met. Social misfits with not much of a life. If you stop to think about, these people need to be pitied.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
22 Dec 06
I understand what you mean. Especially in the work place, people may "give her face" by being nice to her and make her feel so "important", but in the outside world, who gives a hoot, right? :) Thanks for your response.
• United States
23 Dec 06
i guess the most worst thing to deal with one you dislike the best thing thing i can do to avoid this person as possible as you can ,and if obligated then deal with in short
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@avi_rocks (460)
• India
23 Dec 06
Yup Everyone will come acroos such a person all the time. Even i too came across many situations of such kind.