what do you do with negative people?
By itsjustmeb
@itsjustmeb (1212)
Canada
December 22, 2006 11:24am CST
Ok.
Back in September of this year, we had a major family event happen with my oldest son, which caused my DH to go on stress leave. I was on maternity leave myself, and we ended up having to life off of my small mat check because he was off for two months. He ended up only being paid from our insurance company for one month of his stress leave, so money was extremely tight.
Tight to the point that we could not afford to give the kids Christmas this year.
So, on the suggestions of several friends, online and off, I applied for Christmas help through Christmas Amalgamated, which is our version of the Christmas Burea, so this way we could give the kids a Christmas.
Well, within a week or so of me applying, we get a phone call from a company out here saying they had a Christmas hamper for us, and they would deliver it tomorrow. Well when they delivered it , I was crying! We had been given more than enough to feed a small army, and thensome. I was crying and thanking them, because before this happened my Christmas was looking quite bleak.
Friends of mine had asked me why I was so happy, and I told them. They ended up acting so negative about it, so I had to keep defending myself. I mean I do not like going for outside help. People know this! They know!
But the ones complaining about it, were also people who just came into 4-5 thousand dollars EACH from backpay due to a government disability check. And yet, they complain that they cannot provide a Christmas for their kids. If I would have received that much money, I would have NOT gone for government help for Christmas. Btut both of these people did, and did get hampers. One ended up getting a small one, and this person was not happy.
I am over the moon with the generosity that people have shown me this holiday season, and I am completely greatful. And happy because now I can face Christmas with a smile, instead of dreading it.
Why can't these people do the same? I mean both of them received hampers that even though were small, they shouldn;t have received. They both should have bought Christmas stuff with their big checks, and now have no money left, and are now upset they only received small hampers from the places they applied to.
Why do they feel the need to make me feel miserable when I am happy? Why did they feel the need to apply for something they were not entitled to.
Thoughts?
4 people like this
56 responses
@patgalca (18174)
• Orangeville, Ontario
22 Dec 06
I think it is obvious - they are jealous. Number one rule is to stay away from negative people as they zap your own energy right out of you. I have done that (much to my husband's dismay LOL!). Why should I hang around people I don't want to be with? Who bring me down?
On the other hand, these people who got checks, you don't know what kind of bills they had to pay. They could have been months behind on utilities and had to pay all that. Just as you do not want to be judged, you need not judge them.
One year our church dropped off the "leftovers" of the Christmas hamper campaign. OMG was my hallway filled with toys and food. You know what I did? I went around and shared it with the neighbours. It was way too much for us and my kids did not need all that stuff. Yeah, we were struggling due to my disability and zero income, we still are. But it also felt very good to share the wealth.
Keep on being happy.
@harivinod (781)
• India
23 Dec 06
i think we should not disturb them. but u nedd to then be carefull
@cuttyrish (2667)
• United States
25 Dec 06
What i do with negative people? Hmm, i try to avoid them because i dont want to be negative too, people who are negative is hard to get along too, Sometimes i spend little time with negative people because they might wore me out, but but sometimes i try helping them to be more positive in life by talking to them, telling them good things and etc.
@nancygibson (3736)
• France
23 Dec 06
I would completely agree with this, some peopel are just not good for yoru slef esteem and being around them will always make you feel down. I have a friend who I love dearly, but every time I visit her I come away feeling inadequate and insecure. So now, I don't avaoiud her, but I don't make a habit of going to visit, I wish her all the best but I don't need to feel the way I do round her. Sounds like thse frieds of yours may be a little bit similar,we can't always agree with friends, but we can choose how to send our time.
@gausan (2)
• India
25 Dec 06
Ouractions and feelings are directly proportional to out mental attitude. You cannot change others - their actions, thoughts and word, however, you can have a profound control over your thoughts and reactions. Accept life as it is. Dont give any colour to happenings. Please ensure that your mind is not affected by the attitude of people with negative mental attitude
@temptatts4u (39)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Although this is an older topic, it's something you have to deal with every day. There's negative people in the world, and how do you deal with them? You don't. You can't change people, you can only change yourself. Don't spend time worrying about them or what they think or what they do or how negative they are - that's time you should be spending thinking about how grateful you are (which you seem to be doing any way). Stay away from them and surround yourself with those who are not negative.....it's the best thing I think you can do for you and your family! :)
@mycheang74 (75)
• Malaysia
25 Dec 06
Why let other people make you unhappy? Don't let other peoples' comment affect your feeling. Maybe you can try this: Every morning, stand in front of the mirror and say the following to yourself: I'm happy and healthy. My day is filled with joy and happiness.
If your friend is so negative that they drag down your energy, then avoid them and find new friend who is more supportive, ok? If they are really your friend, they shouldn't said something that hurt your feeling.
@caraj444 (1075)
• Canada
23 Dec 06
People nowadays seem to feel extremely entitled to everything whether its intended to help them or not, people who dont need the hampers should definetly not be applying for them. dont let these people curb your happiness, you are being grateful for what you have received and they are preying on the generosity of others and you should simply tell them that youve done nothing wrong and leave it at that and enjoy your christmas, good luck and i hope you have a great christmas
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
23 Dec 06
I generally stay away from these kind of people. One personal enrichment book I've read is that may friends with successful, and positive people. Once you are surrounded with successful and positive people, you too can be successful.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
23 Dec 06
These people are only jealous so do not let it worry you at all, just enjoy the hamper which you were given because obviously you were deemed to be needing what you were given. The other thing is that are these people really friends if they will act in this way. Friends are people who are happy for you when things go right and sad when things go wrong for you. If they cannot share in your joy, then they are not true friends. Also where is their Christmas and Christian spirit because it doesn't seem like they have much, if any.
Enjoy your Christmas with your family and let those miserable people go from your life, because they are not genuine friends at all. :)
@anirudhan (183)
• India
23 Dec 06
see my friend we cannot correct the world's attitudes..but we can correct only ourselves...
@annyjames07 (123)
• Philippines
23 Dec 06
negative people? i don't mind them, if i have to asked to help in my decision, i would asked somebody else. if i am happy about something and there is this negative person, i confront her or him. negative is not good, it doesn't make sense.
@openedone (240)
• France
23 Dec 06
try with them in first time to convince them if not let 'em down !!
@mukundguruji (195)
• India
23 Dec 06
My heartiest Christmas Greetings!!! God is all knowing and He is rewarding your heartfelt prayers. Be Thankful to Him. Almost everybody is jealous of others getting more than what they get. Think of this situation: If you got less and your neighbors more they would not have come and blamed you for seeking help from others. They are simply jealous. Ignore those people. In our place there is a saying which goes like this "No cure for two bad scourges - One is baldness and the Other is Jealousy" So there is no cure for it. They are under an affliction and in this Christmas time pray to God for giving them relief from that affliction. Don't take their remarks to your heart - And when their words and figures come to your mind simply imagine yourself sending waves and waves of divine and radiating love towards them. And see them engulfed in your radiant Christian love. Do this wholeheartedly. This will clear your mind. When you harbor no malice or bad feelings towards them where is the cause to worry. You soul is clean and shining!!! Convey my Christmas greetings to your family!!!
