How to console an abandoned 5 year old kid?

Philippines
December 24, 2006 6:31am CST
Since he was a fetus, my nephew was abandoned/denied by his father and now his mother left our house and live with another man. She (the mother) did this several times since he gave birth to my nephew. The other night my nephew was crying because he wants to see his mother. I don't know how to console a 5 year old kid since I don't have my own. But it truly breaks my heart seeing him broken because he feels subconsciously that he is now being totally abandoned by his parents. To all the moms, please help me.
3 people like this
20 responses
• United States
24 Dec 06
That's so heartbreaking. I don't see how a mother can just up and leave her child. The only advice I can give to you is just love him and give him attention. Let him know that he is special and that you're there for him.
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
Yes. That is exactly what I am giving to him. I may not be able to replace his mother but at least letting him know that I am just here, will never leave him is enough to comfort him. =)
@rainbow (6761)
24 Dec 06
I have no idea what you can do except assure him it is not him and that his mummy is making sure her new boyfriend is good enough to be with him without upsetting his whole life, tell him a few white lies to ease the pain if need be. Pooor little soul there is no need for this treatment, at least he has you and your family who are constantly there for him. Try to be loving and patient, his behaviour is bound to go downhill while he works things out for himself. It's got to be a hard time for all of you left in the home but carry on as normal as much as possible and allow him space to work out his feelings but be therer for the bad parts so he never feels alone. Poor little boy, give him a big hug right now and remind him you love him so very much. Give him one from me too!
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
Hey, thanks for the hug! It's nice to hear good comments and encouraging words from you, people. Sometimes I really don't know how to handle things since I am really not a mother.
@bishu_sinha (1457)
• India
25 Dec 06
Faith on God and love to him very much.
@lafavorito (2959)
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
It's so sweet of you to take care of your nephew, as of today all you can is to provide his needs and love him with all your heart. If he asks about his mom, don't be afraid to tell the truth, try telling him that his mom needs to go away because she has adult type problems and doesn't want him to see his mother suffer from these problems and during the time that his mom is away you'll be there for him.
@jen20619 (1300)
• Ireland
24 Dec 06
This is most sad.I think you are a good person for trying to help this poor little boy.Maybe even been a Mother figure to him would fill that void thats missing in his life right now.
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
I thought of doing that also. BUT a mother will always be a mother for their children. I can never replace and be his mother. What I can do now is to do everything I can.
• Romania
25 Dec 06
be there for him everytime he needs you. love him much more than anybody can and treet him like he is your throw sun becouse he is alown and nobody cand help him now, than you.You are now the only hope.Everything happen with a reason.His mom is crazy to do such a thing his not a mother.Love him and help each other.Merry Christmass and God help you
@mansha (6298)
• India
25 Dec 06
Just be htere for him and care for him, you can be just nice to him. You can read out stories to him. Children really get distracted easily- if you give him enough love he will soon start missing his own mother. DO no t criticise his parents with in his ear shot ever as it will make him more concious of his situation. For know if he gets enough love from you he will not miss his parents much and once he grows up he will figure it out himself at that time you need to be honest with him. For now give him the love and comfort he needs.
@kawillow74 (1416)
• United States
25 Dec 06
wow it is really sad because he is only 5 and has no idea why his parents are not there for him but you can assure him that you will be there for him know matter what. it is great that you are give him lost of love and hope his parent come to there senses.
• India
25 Dec 06
well....u love him soo much i guess.... wid u he can get the comfort of his parents.... just b wid him and don let him miss anything
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
show him that u love him so much,and he will grow up as a good boy without his parents...the boy needs love and affection,give it to him,,
• United States
25 Dec 06
i have been in the same place as u but the child was older and no relation to me she was 15 and her mother left her with me she didn't hear from her mother for 2 months i just loved her as my own and yes it hurts when they leave u but i did the best i could to reassure her it was not her but her mother and i loved her as one of my own and still do even though she now lives with her father just do the best you can for him he is young and he will not understand. Good Luck to you both.
@josan181237 (1204)
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
i don't have kids but it's so sad to think that a mother could do this to her child. just show him the love and care that he didn't experience from his mom.
@foosje (41)
• Belgium
25 Dec 06
If you want to consolate your nephew, then give him hugs, lots of hugs, and show him that you love him and you won't be leaving him. I think it's really good of you that you're trying to help him, but I really can't see how a mother can walk out on her child just like that. I feel sorry for this child, but I think the only thing you can do is try to give him lots of love and hope he'll be alright.
@Bofia29 (36)
• United States
25 Dec 06
you should assure him that it is ok. show him that you care for him and that there are good things in the world. show the kid that the world is full of opportunities for happiness and the kid should not limit himself
@Aali311 (6112)
• United States
25 Dec 06
Poor kid, no child deserves this, just show him love all times, and be nice to him, play with him. He will love you and if you want to be there for him don't do what his mother did to him, he needs someone stable in his life.
• United States
24 Dec 06
well I feel like this if his parents abanded him all you can do is your best and if he looks up to you then I would try to adopt him as my own so that he wouldn't have to go through this even through he may still look down on himself you can always try to get him help because as a 5 year old child and Christmas being here it is very hard on him but I wish the best for you and your family Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
24 Dec 06
It is really shocking to find the conduct of father and mother towards a child. I would suggest that you adopt the child and love him so much that he forgets his biological parents.
• United States
24 Dec 06
just love him as much as you can
@tildy12 (760)
• United States
24 Dec 06
Thats really sad,how can she leave her own child so that she could go libe with a man.A mother is supposed to put her child first not abandon the child so that she could be with a man
@nishanity (1650)
• India
25 Dec 06
i aint a mom yet, nevertheless my heart goes out to him!! well dear, his mom is your sister or wat? cant u advise her? else, if u really care about this child. cant u adopt him? u can be his mom!! wont u like tht?? i think you would and i am sure he would like it too... i think it ought to have done when he was born itself... and if possible just give a piece of your mind to his mom!!