You have a very unique kid, are you worried about him/her?

China
December 25, 2006 12:18am CST
My son is 12 years old, a Grade Six primary school student. I say he is unique, just because I don't know how to describe him. He has the gift of drawing from his early age , likes making things by hands, and he is left-handed, a little quiet,shy and simple-minded. He doesn't like to play with his classmates besides one, the same characer as him. I ever ask him why he isn't interested in sharing his feelings with others. He answered he has no words with them. He seldom find fun from playing with them, but he can indulge in his own hobby. Some friends of mine said he is inner-directed, because he know what is his like. I think so. But I also find that he is not sociable and acceptable by others. I'm worried about his future, so I try to improve this situation. Can you show me your suggestions?
4 people like this
36 responses
• United States
25 Dec 06
some children, especially the genius children like your son are naturally introverted ( meaning preferring to be left alone) . Most researchers of the top pharmecautical medines, most genuiuses are introverted. Your child is gifted and should be nurtured. maybe by taking some extra curricular art classes outside of school. He may seem "simple minded" but actually genuius children do not like to waste words and say things very basically. He belongs in more special programs where he can be around special childen just like him. He will not be accepted by a normal crowd, bu what is really wrong with that if he was placed here with higher creative skills. Seek out environments where he would be more comfortable in instead of squelching his genius by trying to get him to conform to "normal" environments. Genius children are very eccentric in behavior and nurturing their ambitions helps to bring out more of their natural talent. He may not be lik ethe other kids. But he seems very special to me.
2 people like this
• China
25 Dec 06
I feel very grateful to receive your opinion which is very constructive. thank you on behalf of my son.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Dec 06
you are a very lucky mom to have such a wonderful and gifted son! Love and nurturing are your keys to success with him.
@Matducks (130)
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
i agree.nurture the gift.guide him.communicate with him also.do certain things together.maybe he will learn to open up.
@19582786 (46)
• China
26 Dec 06
I thought this is possibly because of its age also small reason.Actually,this also nothing .Has the possibility or his fire,therefore is not unnecessary that to worry.So long as,he are joyful ant has initiated any has initiated such injury to be allowed!!
2 people like this
• United States
26 Dec 06
I have one that is similar to some extent and I worry most about him I think because he likes to do things more on his own than with a group of buddies. I have learned that he is happy being himself and doing his own thing. Kids that are a little different have a tougher time relating to some of their peers but they grow up to be great adults usually, when they put their natural talents to use
1 person likes this
• China
26 Dec 06
I'm happy to receive your response. I agree with you. All the best...
@AndreaM76 (1164)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Unfortunately socitey makes people feel like freaks if we don't go with the flow. I say let him be if it's not harming his school work. Sounds very intelligent and he's probally more than like observing more than most people do because he is listening more and not striving for attention. My son has a discomfort with talking to people since he was four. He is outgrowing it and has opened up to more adults and children. Don't let people tell you he's not normal. That's the kind of person that makes a difference in the world.
1 person likes this
• China
26 Dec 06
thank you for your response and tell me your experience to be mom.
• United States
26 Dec 06
My son is in fifth grade, age 11, high functioning autistic, left handed and loves to draw. In fact, we have over 30 notebooks filled with his dfrawing and a college major was here recently videotaping him. Have you ever heard of Asperger's Syndrome? Lots of kids get diagnosed with this form of autism in their early to late teens. Not trying to say this is it, but something you might want to look into if he is socially awkward. Is he blunt and does he understand social cues? Good luck. You can look into social skills and read some of what I have written at my site about this: http://autismspectrumdisorders.bellaonline.com
• China
26 Dec 06
You are so considerate. I think you're a good mom for your son. God blesses him. Thanks for your attention and advice.
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
well,as i have the Multiple Intelligence theory of Dr.Howard Gardner, some children prefer being alone..he defines it as Intrapersonal Intelligence. Every individual has different intelligences.. these are: Spatial, interpersonal, intrapersonal,logical-mathematical, naturalist,Linguistic, musical, bodily-kinesthetics and existentialist..In your child's case, he likes being alone... it's not that he's trying to revert himself from the crowd. he just like solving things on his own..Your son is unique...everyone is unique..so don't be afraid of what he has..just continue to support him.Develop his abilities for it is very rare to have a child like him.. some people might find him very unusual, but as his parents, let him feel he's being loved.. nobody else would accept him truly and wholy but you...
• China
26 Dec 06
you are very knowledgeable. Thanks for your response.
• China
25 Dec 06
I dont know how to educate children because I dont have any, so no experence. but I think your child might be genius and will become a great artist or something like that if he's conducted in the right way. you know, a kid would indulge in his own hobby than playing with others, that means he like something (such as drawing) more than anything else. if he can keep doing this thing, he will be great. remember, let your child be the man he want to be. I think you
• China
26 Dec 06
thanks for your attention.
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
25 Dec 06
Somebody suggested "try making him right-handed". Don't do something like this to him. You'll only run the risk of making the kid more neurotic. Maybe some lessons to help him become ambidextrious, but even then I think that's far-fetched. Just be sure to support him in what healthy things he does do. Some people are more introverted than others. And sense he seems to be artistically inclined, this makes a whole lot of sense. His focus is inward, and on his own imagination. Nourish him, and he'll probably do fine.
1 person likes this
• China
26 Dec 06
Thanks for your suggestions.
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
i think you should just let him be. i'm a psychology student and we've discussed this in one of our classes. i think your son can be classified as a gifted child. it's you yourself who said your son has talent in the arts. you should just let him enjoy his interests and develop his skills. if he doesn't find time to speak with his classmates in grade school, maybe you can enroll him in an art school or something, where he can meet kids who are interested in arts, just like him. maybe he can interact better with kids who share the same passions like his. however your son may take, just let him enjoy what he's doing. he's going to be grateful to you in the future if you did.
• China
26 Dec 06
I have tried that. Now he is learning drawing. His teacher says he always has a impulsion to art and he is talented in drawing. just like you said, his teacher doesn't describe him as I said, but using words "lively"instead. But up to now, he didn't find kids himself with commom interest except one, with the help of me. Perhaps I should be patient. Thanks for your attention. especially, an expert's attention and advice.All best...
@diansinta (7550)
• Indonesia
25 Dec 06
you say that he was left handed right? the actifity of the left hand , influence the right brain. so thats why he think differendly among others. try to make him write right handed. it will balance him and be a social person, or might be some day he will be a leader among the other.
1 person likes this
• China
26 Dec 06
I try to do that at his age of 4, but it' too late. when he was 2, I taught him to draw but didn't pay attention to his writing habit. Now he is still left-handed.
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I don't think you have anything to worry about. As an introvert myself, I know how he feels. He'd rather be alone with his art than spending time with others. This will probably change a little as he grows and finds others who have his same interests and who he can connect more with than the children he knows now who are more interested in chattering and playing than in more serious pursuits. I had a boy in my high school special needs for four years. He came in as a freshman with a group of boys who'd known each other all their lives. He was different. They were loud teenaged boys. He was quiet and gentle-spirited and a fabulous artist. I had many heart-to-heart talks with him as he struggled to understand why he and the other boys weren't friends any longer, and he just couldn't see how far they'd grown apart by senior year. After graduation he went on to community college to study art and eventually to another college where he studied graphic arts and design. I'd see him once in awhile at the local Walmart where he worked summers. The last I knew he had his own group of friends, a serious girlfriend, and his instructor had gotten him started in web design. After not fitting in for several years in high school, he found his niche in society. Your son will be able to do that as he matures, too.
1 person likes this
• China
31 Dec 06
i think you should find a road that can make he feel pleasant,for example ,studying painting in a art school.he is good at painting,he will be successful in this field!you don't worry about it,he will find his true friend!
1 person likes this
@ais_nedla (163)
• United States
26 Dec 06
why would u be worried on having such a wonderful and talented kid. people can be so mean to their kid sometimes. you need to indulge your kid with his hobbys. who knows who have give birth to the next picasso?
1 person likes this
@qqqmmm999 (208)
• China
26 Dec 06
I think your chile is gifted, but gifts may have some different with others. Don't worry.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 06
Give him the best opprtunities you can where he can excel in his talents. Even though he is a genius make sure that he doesnt look down upon others but at the same time give him an environment conducive for further growth potential. He will be a great kid. All the best!
@shmeedia (1045)
• Canada
25 Dec 06
sounds like me when i was young, but smarter! yes, i think your son is really smart from a young age. he knows what he likes and who he is, and can tell about others his age, that they don't interest him. if he has one friend with the same character as him, that is a good sign. means he is not anti-social, just 'special' like you said. i think many artistic children are seen as strange, but are usually very brilliant and go on to be very successful in life. i don't think you should worry too much about him being sociable. his introvertedness and slight shyness will probably improve with age, or if he finds other kids like himself. did you ever think about putting him in extracurricular activities like art class? he could have fun doing what he likes, and maybe meet other kids who share similar interests. also, if he is not feeling bad that classmates don't like him, i think it's okay. if they make him feel bad, that isn't good. he sounds though, like he doesn't need to feel like he fits in, he is strong-willed, so maybe he will not get hurt if other people reject him since he is different. this is the most important. if he has confidence and knows who he is, he will be fine :) good luck!
@marzieh (51)
• United Arab Emirates
25 Dec 06
its natural in this year dont worry
1 person likes this
@openedone (240)
• France
25 Dec 06
so i don't have now but he's the unik i be careful a lot of 'im
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
25 Dec 06
i think u most luckiest mom who have such kind of child or God have showers his countless blessings upon ya
1 person likes this
@vipul20044 (5798)
• India
25 Dec 06
Everyone is unique in their own ways Dont worry later or sooner hez gonna learn everything and will socialise on his own People might be introvert but later in their lives they do maintain a balance
1 person likes this