Need advice

Spain
December 25, 2006 1:17pm CST
I have been happily married since past 7 years. latly I have noticed that my husband has been letching at every other woman on the street.This is making me very uncomfortable. I believe that fighting with him or giving him ultimatums is not the answer to this problem since it is very obvious that he is enjoying this very much. I am feeling rejected and degraded though he still claims to love me very much. Does this mean that he doesnt find me attractive anymore? I am very worried. Pls advice
4 people like this
68 responses
@vipul20044 (5800)
• India
25 Dec 06
Hey, it happens Dont think that he finds other's more attractive then you Its simple that something is wrong between you so its better to talk to him Ask him what is wrong or what is it that he expects and he isnt getting its the best solution and mark my words it will work
2 people like this
@SageMother (2277)
• United States
25 Dec 06
You have been married long enough that you should have asked him about this when you first noticed. Ifyou are feeling rejected or uncomfortable then you need to put your foot down and state your expectations, or avoid being with him inplaces where you have seen this behaviour. Exercise your perosnal power.
25 Dec 06
I'm male, was married for a few years, and must admit that quite often, I looked at other women when out with my wife. I don't think it bothered her--I had chosen her, and she had chosen me, after all. I don't see any harm in it, and I think it's maybe over reaction, or a temporary loss of confidence. A male's ego gets a certain amount of lift if a woman he's been admiring just flashes him a smile in the passing. I wouldn't worry too much about it. After all, he's doing it openly!
26 Dec 06
a men gives justification for another men very honestly
@vik87391 (169)
• Spain
26 Dec 06
well,very unfortunate but this is true that men have the habit of letching at females.They feel that how beautiful is the other female as compared to his own.He forgets that there will be millions who would be letching at his wife.Anyway this is the crude reality.Think positive.There would be millions who would be looking at you and some would be even wanting to make you their own.Relax-this is normal.Look and let look.
1 person likes this
• Ukraine
25 Dec 06
Yes it's really desparate your situation,but try to remember the reason of getting married with him.If it was for the love and trust I thing you didn't have to be worried,cause maybe he just like to leth others woman but in the buttom he love u really-just trus him,you'll see some thing change in ur relation with ur husban.
1 person likes this
@vik87391 (169)
• Spain
25 Dec 06
maybe you are giving litle attention to him.pay more attention to his needs and shower more love on him.think what things you are not doing which you were doing earlier with him.may him feel important and love him more,i am sure he will look at you also with loving eyes.cheer up and keep discussing.
1 person likes this
@swapnil5 (31)
• India
26 Dec 06
MAy be or may be not. He might be kidding with you and just trying to do all these things for fun only. But ;you can still have a control over him by asking him abt the matter and resolving the issue as quickly possible
• Spain
27 Dec 06
that means that he is having fun at my expense which is not right
@thumb_up (80)
• China
26 Dec 06
Do you know ,several days ago ,I read a similar story in my text bood ! That story seems to be a humour .When he and his wife walded on the street ,he looked at other girls ,his wife is also pretty ,they had a quarrel in a coffee shop. But his wife is very kind, then when she got up from thire talbe and walked across the room toward a telephon.He watched her walk ,thinking what a pretty girl, what nice legs .
• Spain
28 Dec 06
Thank you this seems like a good idea
• United States
25 Dec 06
seven year itch.spice it up a bit.He's bored.he loves you.he just loves the risk more.So...get risky.change is good.so change it up .give him something to look at.and this is not the time to be shy.You have something no woman can give him...you have to belive that and make him (SEE) that.OK men are pigs but were visual creatures.If he wants to look at women.....let him see his woman.Your married..get as dirty or nasty as ya want!!!Once he see's ya ,for what he wants ..no women can take him away.
@Kackie3 (345)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Yeah, thats right, give him something in bed that he would hate the thoughts of another man getting, if he should think he is interested in going elsewhere.
• Romania
25 Dec 06
i don't thing you are the one who needs to make changes becouse yuor not the one who lookes in other ways...maybe it's better to talck to him and find out what really happen in your relation...maybe he is the guilty one...
• Spain
29 Dec 06
yes.u are very correct.
@grace1045 (115)
26 Dec 06
i wouldnt worry. can you talk to him about it and explain to him that you dont like it and that its upsetting you?
• Ireland
26 Dec 06
it is normal for a guy to look at other women, but this doesn t mean that your are not attractive.it is the nature. i had a boyfriend who was doing the same when we were together. he was even sowing me women and asking me what i think about them.but over all this i was the most important person for him.
@1986ankush (1241)
• India
26 Dec 06
it happens only when you are not able to make your husband attract to you or when you go away from your husband , so remember always that attract your husband to you and it will be your winning time when you are successful in this , otherwise let him go, if you want o live life freely
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
26 Dec 06
Sounds to me like hes trying to make you jealous as when hes letching at other women hes aware you know hes doing it and you dont like it but he continues to do it.You should remind him your the woman he married and you would like him to letch at you more and not strangers on the street.I dont believe it means he doesnt find you attractive anymore.Good luck
• India
26 Dec 06
Take it in a positive way. May be he wants to make u jealous n u become more willing to impress him. Letching is fi9 if he is in his limits. I have seen many ppl do it , i dont think its a cause for concern. Try n make him happy n satisfy him.
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
26 Dec 06
I think you should explain to him how his behavior makes you feel. Then ask him if there's something he feels is lacking in your relationship, but remember not to get upset if/when he tells you something is lacking. It's normal for things to get a little stale in your marriage after just so many years. The trick is recognizing it and doing something about it. At the same time, most men look at other women. Men are visual creatures. It's not a bad thing, but if he's doing it some much that it makes you feel uncomfortable it's time you speak up. Good luck to you!
@humbleme (1004)
• India
26 Dec 06
You have admitted yourself that you are happily married since past seven years,I feel there are not enough reasons right now to be concerned or alert,give him a little break, I hope he is not neglecting you in your personal maritial life neither he is misbehaving with you, dont talk with him like a suspicious teacher,rather you too can start letching at every other guy on the sreet when your husband is with you hahahahahaaa
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
26 Dec 06
That is horrible. I know what you mean...it has happened to me in the past. He probably does love you but finds you attractive..but he is acting badly. It is human nature to look once in a while..but it sounds like he has taken it to the extreme. He should not look when he is with you out of respect...for you. Tell him how you feel and if it continues...you may want to re-evalute your relationship...
• United States
26 Dec 06
If you feel uncomfortable you need to confront him about this. Believe me, if you don't, it will only get worse. Does he know you are bothered by his behavior? If he doesn't than he can't be held accountable for not knowing. All men will always "look" at other women, that's just part of life--and women will do just the same. I can understand why you are worried, and I would be too if my husband started doing that after 7 years of marriage---but we are very honest with each other and I would tell him right away that bothered me. Communicate your feelings :-) Good Luck!
@armywifey (883)
• United States
26 Dec 06
It is a natural thing for men to look at other women, regarldess if they are in a relationship or not. It doesn't mean that they will act on it. If it makes you that uncomfportable you should talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
No, it does not mean that he does not find you attractive or doesn't love you anymore, unless you find something else that will warrant such an observation. Please take note that men loves to stare at something attractive to their eyes. It could be a woman, a car, and the like. Ask yourself the following sets of questions and if MAJORITY of them are in the negative response. Ask your lifelong partner if there is anything wrong with the relationship. 1) Does he still cuddle you when you sleep? 2) Does he still adorn you with kisses? 3) Does he still suprise you witht the occassional stolen kiss or gifts? 4) Is he still communicating with you like you did when you were still in the courtship stage? Things like his day at work, his little snide, naughty comments, and the like.