What would u do if ur parents are really "BAD PARENTS"?

Philippines
December 25, 2006 11:15pm CST
What would you do if your parents are really bad? Are u still gonna stay with them or leave? Heres a story...from SanctuarY I grew up with a parents that i can say "BAD PARENTS", they broke up when i was still a kid, my father neglected us, had another family, didnt support us (but mind u, he is a Lawyer).We stay at my moms house, mom blame me for everything im still young at that time, but, my calvary started. Mom treated me like a slave. She always throw me out of the house, like a dog. Treated me like, im not her own daughter, she hits me everywhere, hit me whatever whats in her hand, yell and talk nasty thing at me whenever my friends are around, she even spank me infront of my BF.I left the house, thinkin that, she might realize what she did to me for the last few years. I grew up and stay with my relatives. When i reach my 4th yr high school i have to leave our province to find my father, thinkin to go to college. I found my father with another family, i finish high school in their province, i went to the city to get my degree.I was happy then, thinkin that i can fulfill my dream to be a doctor, but then, my stepmother, cheated me with the money that suppossed to be my allowance and tuition, and even told my father that im a drug user, even though im not.I stop school, find a job, but what i earn from it, is not enough, so, decided to sue my father, thinkin thats the only way for him to give me money. And it happen. But still, time came that his income is not enough for us all(coz, i have step and half sisters). So i stop again and had a job. I found a better, big income, so, thisnkin that this is a start of a new life, so, i decided to talk to my parents and settle down everythin', forget everything and move on. I talk to my mom, thinkin that everything would be fine. I told her to find a property to buy, and so it did, one day last summer, we had a heated argument becasue i found out that she cheated me with money and i confronted her,and then, she told me, " you know jerk that i dont like you since then, i just dont know why u insist urself, where u know that u dont have place in this house, and u know that u dont have any place in my life". I was stunned. Thinkin, my mom only wants money... But, i cant understand her, i give whatever she wants. it hurts me, but then,i realize, "Yes, why should i insist myself, if i know that she would never ever want me in her life."I left the house, and forget everything. But, the pain always remain here, and i think, i will never ever go back into that house again. I have to movr on, and have my own life.
5 people like this
58 responses
• India
26 Dec 06
i pity your situation friend..well yes your parents are bad..and yes your are right..you have to move on and get going with your life..just cut the loose ends and start afresh..because we can only try our best and the rest is left to god. so all the best..
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Ya right... the father already realize his mistakes. but the mom is a high pride one.. she will never realized her mistakes i think
• China
26 Dec 06
i agree with you,you have to forget and move on living it to God to handle
• India
26 Dec 06
well ur father relazied it's good but they all have spoiled ur life of childhood at the best they can, if they realizes what big deal , u better find any good partner and enjoy ur life as much as u have loose in ur childhood
@kstanley7 (1171)
27 Dec 06
First and foremost I commend you on your strength and commitment, what has happened to you in the past has made you a more stronger person and more alert to the situations that arise in the real world. I am sorry to hear of your situation in the past, but in my eyes you have come out of this with flying colours. how has your relationship been with your father ever since ?
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
Thank you, i graduated last november 28, none of my parents come to join me on stage, maybe they're ashame... But its okay. My father and i are okay... Its just that my father doesnt communicate with us constantly, but we use with it already...We ignore it now, and moving on.
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
26 Dec 06
I would run away from home and never return.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Ya right. Thanks!!!
@humbleme (1004)
• India
26 Dec 06
7 albhabets for you DESTINY.Accept it boldly, you are a brave lady,keep total faith in God, andlive an honest peaceful life.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thanks, i already accepted it and i cling on the past and pain so got to move on....
@dhayang2 (26)
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
still, they are your parents!! without them,,,youre not here...
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thats fact dear, and i know it. But, always remember i have also my own life, clinging to the past and pain is not good, got to move to start new happy life. Not hating them, bbut just moving on.
• India
26 Dec 06
perents never be bad . u r thinking may be bad for ur parents bcoz parents give a birth to baby and trying to give him a better life.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
i know u can say becasue u are not in my situation, but i was born and left to my aunt grew up with them my mom get me, treat me like a slave. How about that? Giving birth to child doesnt mean u have to stop ur obligations and be rude. responsibilities never stops.
@jimotman (633)
• Indonesia
26 Dec 06
you are such a nice child, I'll say don't leave your mom forever, just visit her from time to time, not too often, don't break up with her, she's your mom, you won't regret it, when she's gone, you won't feel bad about yourself because you have given so much for her. a lot of people are so sad when their parents passed away because they think they haven't given their parents anything..
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
She doesnt me... And besides i did that how many times, thats the way she is, if she fight smebody whe will never say sorry,ever her own siblings, they dont like her now, shes egoistic. But still its a afact that shes my mom. But i have to move on... I cant trust her anymore.
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
They are still our parents no matter what.I guess you have to move on with your life and proved to your father that he was wrong leaving you behind.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
i already made that dear. Thanks, i showed to him that i can have a degree no matter what.
• United States
26 Dec 06
Oh God that is so sad really sad that hurt me to hear that. Your mother has so many issues and you are the blame for them but what I can't understand is why. And you was the youngest child which really make your mother looks real bad. I don't know you but my heart goes out to you always know that you are not the blame your mother has serious issues and she is blaming the wrong person for it because it's not you and how could it be this started when you was young she need to take responiblities for her own actions and stop trying to blame others for her own mistakes. I know it may hurt but if your own mother will bring words out of her mouth like that then don't go back. Don't waste another day of your precious life trying to fit in, join in, be a part of her life and you are not wanted you can and gonna make it without her. you take care of yourself never try to fix a problem that is not yours to fix in the first place.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Ya right... Thanks. I left my moms palce because, i cant stand it. If i will continue living with her and everyday i will hear nasty words from her, im only hurting myself, that i might do something that is nt good. One thing more, i moce coz, i want to be happy, i move becasue i believe sooner or later, i can have a family and i dont want them to hear things that is not good, i want peaceful live. I have my own life, to build. Thanks.
@bck_1409 (662)
• India
26 Dec 06
When you know that your paremts are bad then just do what you think write and dont think of others and make sure that your children dont have the same problem
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
I dont have family yet, and i dont want them to grew with such surroundings. Thats why i move on. Thanks for ur responce.
26 Dec 06
that's pity if they can't give love,security to their childrens then they have no right to having any children with them any more,you have the right decision.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thanks
@faisal86 (471)
• Pakistan
26 Dec 06
Alhamdulillah, i have not any such type of problem
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thats great. Good for you.
@rye_ter (257)
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
If they are bad parents, stay away leave them. Don't wait for the point that you'll be influenced and suffer from their maltreatment. Unless there is something wrong with you and your parents. trace if you are their child...ssshhhh....by your own. just an advice
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
ya, i think of that too. I ask my dad 11 years ago, and he never answers me, one time i had fight with my mom, i gave to her the knife, and tell, hy u never treated me like ur daughter or at elast a person adn not a slave", she answered me back , "and i will never treat u as my daughter". Thanks for the responce.
• India
26 Dec 06
Mostly parents cannot be bad...but if they are really so then it depends what to do with them depending on how bad they are...leaving them however can't solve your problem as they are after all your parents and you have to take care of them..
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
The fact that they are my parents is undeniable, but living with them forever is not a good idea i think, coz, they will only ruin my life, and they've been separated. Staying with mom and always argue or hear nasty words is not healthy, moving on doesnt mean ure forgeting them, but starting a peaceful life.
@shooie (4984)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Saw the post where you said your dad now realizes give your mom time as well or maybe she is jealous and can't deal with it. Was she able to attend school and complete her education when she was young? I know sometimes that happens when a mother has children and well in some countries back in the old days women didn't get educations and or even men for that matter they were working just about when they were able to walk. Could be many things that is causing your moms anger. I'm not saying it is right but you never know hun she may realize and things can be patched up. just say a lil prayer in your heart from time to time for her.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Mom went to college, but gor pregnant when shes 4th first sem, so she wasnt able to make, but then, when i was brought into this world, sad to say, that its not her who took care of me... Its ny aunts 3 aunts... So, should she blame for having me? i think theres no reason for to get angry and jealous coz it wasnt my fault. from the time she got pregnant she already know that im an obligation. She will never change... I know... Shes that nasty to both of us (me and my sis).
@cheenlly (3477)
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
i always wonder why there are parents like that. They create scars very deep into their children heart. My mom is kind like that also but i still manage to survive until now. Sometimes i want to give up but what i had in mind is they are still my parents. I still used to cry every night. I mean i was thankful i found this site, somehow i found an outlet to share my problems. I always pray they will realize everything. I still dont lose hope. for you, your lucky you can move on without them. I know how you feel, the pain always remain but inspite of that im still thinking of them. I still love them eventhough they're not to me. Im with you girl. I will also pray for you as i will pray for myself.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thanks dear... Ya, no matter what... they're still our parents... God bless!!!Bear the pain, but move on, to a better life.
• India
26 Dec 06
I am so soory for what had happened to u in ur life. when everchild intends to spend their life with their parents, u had a lot of troubles thru out ur life frnd. I can say just one thing the more u think ur alone the more u feel so... try to be bold and confident dear, belive in what u do and what u feel.....there is always one mighty power behind u the GOD who will take care of u.. just have faith in him. i wish u would have succeess in ur live and reach gr8 heights
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thanks dear, thats a wonderful message.
@musha_ali (391)
• Pakistan
26 Dec 06
no parents in the world are bad , it is just our imagination that our parents r bad..........
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
i dont think im making up stories and imagining things, we have stories stories, different lives.... We experience happiness, loneliness, hatred etc... There are rude people and nice people so as parents. You're lucky if ur parents are not bad.
@mfibong (138)
• Singapore
26 Dec 06
that's a sad story..so sorry about it..i admire you though because you have the willingness to succeed in life despite of all such miseries..as for your dad, at least he realized his mistakes..and for your mom, too bad that she doesn't see how lucky she is to have a daughter like you..but, no matter how bad she is to you, she's still your mom..you can never change that fact..since you are now able to earn your own money, maybe just continue providing her some support, even in little ways..you don't have to live with her though..just give her some financial support or anything that she might need..through this, she may perhaps realize soon that she has a good daughter and that she has been a bad mother to you..
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
Thats the fact, and i dont deny it... what ever will happen she's still my mom, but dear, how can i support if she's richer than me? she belong to a upper middle class clan? I gave everything waht she wants before... And still cheated me... Even her own siblings they dont like her now, coz of her attitude. So, we just want to teach her a lesson.. Learn how to respect us, and realize that she needs, becasue she tought she dont us.She said she never been bad, she doesnt want to admit it. But everybody knows, how bad she is.
@anrok007 (24)
• India
26 Dec 06
i dont think parents can ever be bad...its just the view of a girl or a boy that changes with the onset of adolescence.....
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
its not a part of adolence dear, read the whole story, and mind u im already on my late 30s. There are parents who are like that, u just dont know, ur lucky coz u dont have.