What should i do? Please help!

India
December 26, 2006 8:57am CST
My boyfriend lives away from his parents, and he is struggling to be a singer. He is also facing financial problems, and many more other problems! He keeps telling me that i am his only support. He is living with his cousins, and they dont help him much, as they themselves have their own lives and problems. He is too tensed and doesnt know what to do, i cant see him like this, i love him alot and cannot live without him! He is going through family problems, and hardly talks now days. We also had a big fight recently and he had booked his tickets to go back to his parents, but he cancelled the plan today! I dont understand why doesnt he share his problems with me? I have noticed that girls are more expressive and sensible, they share their problems and talk it out! But boys just go inside a cave and dont want to talk to anyone! Do you think that this is true? I have asked him many times as to what is the problem, but he always says that he will tell me later, but just doesnt tell me! Please tell me what should i do?
2 people like this
59 responses
@amanda84 (263)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 06
Maybe he is just to shy to talk to u bout his problem. guys are like that. they are to egoistic ( i mean sum of them ). but one piece of advice from me..if ur bf doesnt feel like talking bout his problem..dun force him. u are making him feel even worse. what ever happen..trust him and be with his side when ever he needs u..that is the only thing u can do for him and urself. good luck
• India
26 Dec 06
I agree with you... From my opinion; always "holds on your dreams,your day will come"definitely.She should wait with patiently.
• India
27 Dec 06
just give him the time he needs!!!!share all ur problems with him!!!!!let him realise on his own that you r the one with whom he can share all things!!!!dont force him to do so!!just be with him and just watch that this problem will be solved automatically with time !!!!!!
• India
27 Dec 06
boys are also sensitive and expressive but they are not expressing it to others, they may think that i/we should not gove any trouble to anybody. and another thing is, he should not required money to be a singer, it is coming from heart, if u do it from full concentration, u can be achieve anything in this world, he has in tense, it may be because of failure for singer. he should have two things which is very important in his life that is self confidence and strengh. and he should begin the work anything, that he can earn something, he should earn first from anywhere, then he should have to go for singing.
@jen20619 (1300)
• Ireland
27 Dec 06
Im glad you love him so much and want to be there for him.I think this is what he needs.Having a dream like wanting to become a singer is something thats so precious to a person its there dream and most wont give up til it happens.There usualy the ones the make it.I just hope he is a realy good singer and some day makes it.I think for now you just need to let him know you love him and your there for him no matter what.
@belayon (19)
• South Africa
27 Dec 06
Hello girl,I read your message about your boyfriend.As he loves first be there for him.Second try to get to talk about his problems.It`s possible as you are in love.he want to sing and you know that singers are most of the time facing a lot of problems such as money,studios,etc.Just be strong and talk a lot to each other and you`ll see...
@DigWeed (225)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
just think about the hard way :)
@katyzzz (2897)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
He should take work of any description until he establishes himself as a singer.
• Singapore
27 Dec 06
sometimes, men with ego finds it so hard to share out their problems...they can share their achievements and they can boast about it, but they will never ever tell you when things are not going smoothly...that was exactly like my ex-bf...try to talk with your bf in a serious and firm way..if he insist not to tell you anything..then better let him be
@harsh1985 (593)
• India
27 Dec 06
intially you support him mentally..tell him that i am with you in every good and bad condition.try t ogive him correct path to reach to destination don't be hesitate that what will he think about me..when you oppose him to do something..this is your duty to help him to reach to destination! he will not tell you all problems he is facing with..this is tendency of guys to don't distrub the mind og his gf. but your mental support is the most required thing he want during his bad condition!! best of luck
@gunchu (154)
• India
27 Dec 06
nay be he does not want to upset you or may be he knows what your answer would be on his problems and he does not agree with that .so best thing is to give him time and support him so that he does not feel alone.
@mshmsho (118)
• Germany
27 Dec 06
Haven't you heard that Men are from Mars and women are from Venus??? normally men don't like to talk about their problems or whatever bothers them contrary to women who like to talk about their problems and they always need somebody to hear them. So the best in your case is to wait till he is ready to talk to you, and I think in this case it will not be late. Try to be supportive and don't push hard on him, wait till it's time. You have to be patient !!
@zee579 (434)
• Pakistan
27 Dec 06
If you think you relly love him then you should accept him for what he is and what he has and be ready to accept what he has to offer and keep faith and trust in him for future. If you think you cannot live like that then you should just leave hime because it might just continue forever.
• India
27 Dec 06
in my opinion don't do anything finacially for him, b'coz if u do this, this problem repeat again and again,he wanted to become a singer, but its not mean that he is not able to do hardwork,i also handled this type of problem in my life,before four years i don't want to become an engineer, i want to go abroad but my parents don't want this, they force me to do engineering, i tell my problem to my girl friend and ask her for help. she helps me taht time give me moral support and ask me these lines:-"winners not do different things they do things differently". this sentence gives me lot of confidence i comptled my engg.this time all are satisfied i m also able to go to abrod i have too many options.ask your boyfriends to go with his parents do what they ask to do parents are sureme power on this earth. you only give him confidence not try to do more.do this early time will come when u feel proud with him.
@aizavel (558)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
well the only thing that you can do is try to support him and be less pushy because he'll get pressured more and it'll be harder for him... Maybe you should just wait until he feels that he can talk about it with you
• United States
27 Dec 06
What he should do is get a job during the day, and worry about singing at night. This will help him out financially until he gets a well paying job as a singer. Now what kind of support does he mean when he says you are his only support? Are you giving him money to live on? If he is living with his cousins, then they are helping him out. They are giving him a roof over his head, and maybe even food to eat. And what family doesn't have there share of problems. My family has grown this year. My oldest, of three daughters, whom is living with us has a son now, whom we are also raising. And this month, my wife's aunt suffered a stroke, and may have to stay with us awhile, until we can find her another place to live. Even though she has her own insurance, we are providing minor necessities in which to make her more comfortable. ALso my full time position is being phased out, so I will lose my insurance benefits, and a pay cut to a part time position dueing data entry work for the same company. So now I have to get another part time position, and I also want to go back to school, to get another certificate. Sometime people don't want to burden loved ones with their problems, because they want to solve the problem themselves. Sometimes it's better to share a problem, to get new ideas on how to solve it, and usually the advice is free. Just keep asking him to share some of his problems with you, and between both of you, there might be an easy way in which to deal with it.
• United States
27 Dec 06
women are more emotional by nature ,rather men who are less i guess if you give him some time to talk will help do not be insisting
• India
27 Dec 06
Hi...i can understand your problem you want to share the problem of your boyfriend but he is not telling anything or sharing his problem with you...but you try for once sit with him calmly ask what his problem is and assure him that you may solve it too....if he still dont want to share it with you then wait till he comes says you about his problem because guys are very stubborn....... i agree gals are so sensitive and if anyone asks their problems they say it immediately but guys are stubborn and they think that if they say their problems to others, others will think that they are weak so....all the best for you and your boyfriend....
@djshocker (400)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Coming from a guy, most guys don't like to talk about their problems because they feel like they are a "wuss" or acting like a girl if they do. My dad still don't to this day. He says he wants to be the "man" of the house and figure out a way to solve the problem(s) The best thing I can say is to be there for him. Show him you care like ask if there is anything you can do to make him feel better. Trust me, he does need someone whether he knows it or wants it or not.
@iyamapa (259)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
do support him with anywhere you go
@bimmer999 (1159)
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
just support him in whatever he loves to do.. thats love