relationship questions

United States
December 29, 2006 10:47am CST
okay I have a question here. When me and my fiance got our place I put up all but $80 of the money to get in the place and he quit his job like 3 months later so i paid the rent too by myself. Well my family helped too but he didn't. He was jobless until this month. Then his car got towed and he didn't bother to get it out of the impound so he drives me car all the time. Since he didn't have a job for liek 4-5 months shouldn't I be able to say that the apartment, car, and money are mine? I mean I don't mean to seperate things but when he tries to control things then I get territorial. He is hesitating on marrying me because of this and now he is saying that he is going to get his own apartment. Am I being too possessive of everything??
11 people like this
78 responses
• United States
29 Dec 06
I would take a look at the relationship and perhaps a break even. Dividing things and saying "well, I paid for all this!" isn't going to help matters, only make them worse. His attitude isn't helping the situation either. He should be happy that you were able to step up during hard times.
3 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
HMMMM....sounds like you already know the answer to this, but are afraid to face the fact that this guy is a loser. Stand up for yourself sweetie. There are more fish in the sea.
@mistypq (673)
30 Dec 06
I agree with you ! he is taking you for a mug? He wants all from you, but he dosent give you anything but trouble! he is a bin job,dump him!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Dump the loser, obviously you are having money problems before marrying, it only gets worse when you are married, get out while you can and take what is yours and be happy you did not marry for the WRONG reasons
2 people like this
@lulylove (1561)
• Brazil
29 Dec 06
I think as you! And I believe that the best decision is that one that takes the happiness, Therefore does not exist nothing bigger and better that this.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
29 Dec 06
I do not think you are being possessive at all. Is his name on the lease as well as yours with the apartment? If his name is on there, it is considered both of yours but if not then it is yours. It seems to me he is taking advantage of you and does not plan on helping out with the expenses. You may want to reconsider marrying this person. It seems like he is the one with issues and not you.
• United States
30 Dec 06
yes his name is on the lease.
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
No, you're not being possessive, you're being abused!!!Let him get his own apartment and out of your life!!! You should be thankful you're not yet married, it's easier to dump him now, than be in greater misery later. And the nerve on saying he's hesitant to marry you because you're territorial?well, in the first place, he's not paying any rent and he's making you a chauffer!!!
2 people like this
@Lovely07 (127)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Girl, you can do bad by yourself...live is too short an dif he acting like this b4 marriage image what it will be like when you get married!!!! leave him
2 people like this
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Oh honey I don't think you are being too possessive, you are the one what was paying for everything. If he doesn't even bother to get his car out of impound it seems like he's a little lazy and doesn't mind allowing you to be the provider. If he wants to get his own apartment, let him. Tell him you need to know he can be supportive financially...that's what I did.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 06
well he doesnt have the title so he could never trade it in. His ex's mom I think has it and he doesn't want anything to do with them.
@wasim_96 (45)
• India
30 Dec 06
dont try to be over possessive...the more show possessiness the more u create problem.so need to be broadminded and see ur partner really love u somuch and he cares for u and he can do anything for u..all this things then take a decision coz once u get married u cant sepearte things saying that this mine and this is his...we both are one...so how come things are yours and his...and i really appreciate that ur supporting ur husband..and since u say he is jobless for the few months..by this time he should be in a new job and try to find why he is not looking for the job.
• United States
29 Dec 06
He's got it good honey, what with you footing the bills and his lazy butt doing nothing. Put him out with the trash the quicker the better, he's a controlling user that will only get worse if you allow it!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Your fiance is a loser. You'd be stupid to marry him and it is a good thing that you haven't married him yet because that will mean all your things are his too even though he didnt buy it with his money. You should think about kicking him out because seriously, you deserve a better man. He is incapable of supporting a family and you'd be the one to suffer and I know nobody wants to be on the losing end of a relationship. It should be mutual.
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Wow. If I were you, I would be Celebrating he wants to move out on his own. You deserve better than this, and should not feel Sorry for yourself or him. The best thing you ever did is not Marry him. I dated someone like this, and finally got tired of it, and he moved out, and then I found out to make matters worse, he had been Cheating on me even when I was not at home. You are well better off without this man. If I were you, I would be Glad he is wanting to move away from you. There are way better Men out there in this world to be used by the ones who seem to just be there to take advantage of someone when they can. Wishing you Luck.
@MntlWard (880)
• United States
29 Dec 06
No, you're not being too possessive. You've been overly generous, an he's taken advantage of that. It's funny how he's been a deadbeat, and he "threatens" not to marry you because you're calling him a deadbeat. You shouldn't marry him until he shows that he can get by on his own. If you've been supporting the both of you on your one paycheck, then you should be able to thrive if he gets out from under your roof.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
No, you are not being too possessive. He is being a careless, ego maniac, and a sponge. Kick him to the curb and cut your losses. If he wasn't motivated to get a job this time, what happens once you are married. He will expect more from you! Take this as a lesson learned and be cautious the next time. Good Luck
• United States
29 Dec 06
well you guys are not married so technically they are yours.yes,those things are yours.they would be his too if you were married but your not.i do not think you are to possesive he should of helped out from day one and you would not of had to go threw this at all.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
29 Dec 06
I think you are hooked to a loser too dear. Just leave him and let it be. If you paid then its yours and if you still are getting married to him better draw a prenupital agreement on everything, otherwise he will just be a burden foe you to carry around.
1 person likes this
@Melizzy (1381)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Drop this loser like the bum that he is. He quit his job without having another one. Stupid. He lost his car. Stupid. He is living off of you. Let him get his own place. He's probably bluffing. Do you really want to marry a guy who is a leech? He is sucking all of your money away from you. Without you, he'd have no roof over his head.
@ponppy (102)
• Nigeria
29 Dec 06
Yes you are being very possessive about this according to what you said,let me tell you this what belongs to you belong to your husband,since both of you are planning to get married to eachother,and for your fiance to be jobless today is not the end of his journey in life,so you should appreciate him and happy for you own your personal stuff and your fiance is enjoying it with you.4 real......
1 person likes this
@dmanuel (411)
29 Dec 06
no you are not being possessive. you have the right to feel territorial. i mean the way i see it, you're actually earning money to support not only yourself but him. i suggest you go on your own, seems like you can manage without him.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
you are not too possessove at all. If anything he should have gotten his lazy a** up and gotten a job as soon at he quit the one he had! Did he give you a reason as to why he quit his job??? Why didnt get get his car out of the impound??? He seems to be very lazy and not wanting to contribute to your guys relationship very much. And if he is hesiant(SP?) on marrying you, then i think you need to re-evaluate your relationship with him. Good Luck
1 person likes this
• India
29 Dec 06
if u r so irritated with his behaviour , there is no point of marrieng him. because there will b clashes between u 2, and i dont think this marriage will last too long.
1 person likes this