Bullying People

United States
December 29, 2006 5:46pm CST
Unfortunately most experience some sort of bullying in their lifetime. No one is safe from it- pretty, thin, fat, smart, stupid, ugly, ethnicity. everyone can be bullied. Bullying doesn't just stop at school it follows you into the adult world. Sometimes it can be more than just words, it can get physical. I work as a peer counselor and have to deal with many of these situations and the affects are devastating. I believe that many people do not take bullying seriously. What do you think can be done to prevent or to discourage bullying? Do you think that there is a way to protect people from being bullied? Why do some people crash and burn while others are made stronger? Are the bullies once bullied themselves, are there deeper issues that need to be resolved here?
7 people like this
22 responses
• United States
30 Dec 06
I agree with you when you said that "people do not take bullying seriously". This is going to be long winded, bear with me when I tell you 1 story of my sons bullies. My son is going through a hard time at school right now with several of these "bullies". On many days when they are at their "best" and he doesn't want to take anymore, he goes to his teacher and tells him what the kids are doing, and all the teacher says is pretty much this, "go back to your seat and deal with it." I had enough of him coming home from school in tears, DAILY, that after speaking with him, his teacher, his classroom aide and the principal, I told him that if the teacher refuses to deal with the problem WHILE it is going on, that he needs to walk out of the classroom and go to the office to report to the principal what has happened. He finally had to resort to this the other day. And what happened? He got a detention for leaving the classroom and when he got to the principals office... the principal wouldn't even listen to what it was that he was there for! Told him that he didn't have the time to go to his class and "deal with it". WHAT!!?!! Then, while my son was after school 1 day, he was assaulted by a student 3 grades higher than him. And of course that "bully" has his group of friends all around him and started calling my son names when he tried to walk away. (I have always told him that it takes more of a man to walk away than it does to turn and fight!) I was there within minutes of this happening, to pick him up, and when I saw he was in tears and told me what had happened, the other kids all started laughing and calling him a "momma's boy". Conviently this all was not witnessed by the teacher that was supposed to be WATCHING all these kids. When I went to speak with the kids to find out what happened, that same principal walked by and I told him that he needed to deal with it and find out what had happened and WHY. And he walked right by me and told me he was going home! So after I exchange several words with him and the kid that assaulted my son, I told them all that I was no longer dealing with it, that I was going to go home and call the police (they wouldn't even let me back into the school to use the phone!) and have them all reported. So that is what I did.. and while doing so, I also found out that the school (principal) was breaking the law! By not reporting such instances. So needless to say, when the police showed up at the doors of all those involved and then went to the school 2 days later to let them know they were breaking the law and by doing this, it also made parents of those kids become aware of what their kids were doing while at school. I got phone calls left and right for 3 days from parents, APOLOGIZING for what their kids had been doing to other kids! I was SHOCKED! They had "no idea that their kids had been doing such mean and thoughtless things to others". My thoughts to this is simple. It starts at HOME! With the PARENTS! And if the parents are not responsible for the raising of their kids properly then someone else is always needed to step up and "fix it". This is why there is such a high need for counselors.
• Anderson, Indiana
30 Dec 06
My goddaughter got enough of two of her three kids being bullied, so she pulled them out of school and started teaching them at home. They're all really thriving. It seems that, with all of the extra people our tax dollars are paying for that now are part of the school instead of simply the teachers, principals, and a few staff members, there should be enough people around to keep things like this from happening. How did they ever manage back in the day when it was one teacher to a classroom plus the principal--and, in my school, the principal also taught eighth grade!?!
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I have had people try to bully me often on all my life. I mostly ignored them, if they tried to get physical I found a safe corner and mostly I pray for them. Right now someone in my family is trying to bully me, I am not letting them do it. I have got help from sources I knew would curb it and praying for God to deal with them as he sees fit and prayers are working. They are still trying but not succeeding. I think bullying has to do with people trying to have prestige and power and think that buy trying to intimidate others they think they look big and important. They want to control everyone and everything around them. Most of them are cowards when someone stands up to or exposes them and they try to cut and run.
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
that's right..just ignore them..after a while, they would get tired of bullying you and they will just stop..
• Canada
30 Dec 06
I think prestige and power is the big one. They cannot get over their own ego, I am in a similar situation where a family member wants to look superior by degrading, intimidating you. I have had enough that I am going to walk out of their life!! Good luck to you!
• United States
30 Dec 06
The bully has a number of reasons as to why they do it. With young men and women, it could be to bring them into a gang. To often our youth have no one to go to, surely law enforcement does nto take it seriously until it is very unsafe to walk the streets by everyone. I would say to all parents take the time to watch your children when they come home, run your eyes over their body to look for wounds or bruises. The today bully is not the same as years ago. Years ago bully just wanted to be known as the baddest kid in the neighborhood. These today wants to take our family member and make them their gang related family. Prayer is wonderful! But we have to start doing our part as well. I have never been bullied, but my son has by several different gangs to the point that they have thrown him through a store window, knocked out his teeth and when he would not join them they shot him down on the streets coming home from school. I think that gives me the right to know what im talking about. This is no minor deal and it could happen to any family. And it is no longer any section where you are safe from these crimes. People have to start being hidden police, calling in when we see things that are strange, or should not be. My town alone we had 26 deaths last year, from the ages of 15 to 23. What a waste of life!
2 people like this
@loliva (3)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I believe that bullies are really insecure people. Some people are not hurt emotionally by being the victim of a bully and some are. Those who are affected by such behavior are usually sensitive types (some with low self-esteem). These types of people can suffer some severe repercussions that further their low self-esteem issues. A way to protect people is to try to instill positive self perception when people are young. Maybe, a part of school curiculum in the early grades that promote a sense of worthiness in all individuals. If people learn to percieve themselves in a positive way and thus become more secure about themselves, then they would not be emtionally scarred by the act of bullies.
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
bullying is a very serious thing that happens and it needs to be taken very seriously .This is something can effect people for years later and for some can even end there life.I think there should be serious fines for people that are bullies.
1 person likes this
• New Zealand
30 Dec 06
fines are a great idea.
1 person likes this
@nicedevil (685)
• Italy
30 Dec 06
ugly thing
1 person likes this
@krizz420 (4389)
• Canada
30 Dec 06
I dont think theres any way to discourage bullying. Its a fact of life thats been happening since the begging of time. I guess all you can really do is try not to put yourself into the position where your going to get bullied.
1 person likes this
@Redzion13 (196)
• Canada
30 Dec 06
I can honestly say that I have never been bullied in my lifetime. I have seen it happen but never to me. I guess I'm just lucky.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Dec 06
If you see someone being bullied by another you should always try to stop it , by not stopping it you are proving that you are okay with it. It is obvious that bullies are also bullied themselves as them bullying others is some sort of an indirect revenge or and act to remove their frustration. Bullying is a very common event at colleges , schools ect. These days even kids from kindergarden can be seen bullying their colleagues. Some people bully guys who are PHYSICALLY not as STRONG as them as they want to be COOL in front of their friends. Bullying can sometimes turn serious too and should be dealt with in the right manner.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Dec 06
Nobody has the right to hurt other people by hitting them, kicking them, calling them names, spreading rumours about them or by doing anything else which is intended to be upsetting. Bullies try to justify their actions by saying that it is their victim's fault for being different. They may pick on someone who is tall or small, or fat or thin, or wears glasses, or has a different accent, or another religion, or is shy or clever, or good looking, or disabled or . . . Any excuse will do, and if there is no real difference then the bullies will invent one. If this is happening to you tell yourself that it is not your fault, and that it is the bullies who need to change, not you You do not have to be a victim to act. If you do nothing when you see someone being bullied the bullies may think that you approve of what they are doing. Part of the fun that bullies get comes from the reaction of bystanders. You can help by: challenging all bullying behaviour befriending younger children talking about bullying or, by taking part in your schools' anti-bullying activities such as: acting in plays designing posters carrying out surveys
1 person likes this
@scorpius (1793)
• India
30 Dec 06
actually bullying has been there for a very long time since the time we were apes.back then the alpha male of the ape group would probably bully everyone around.but eventually someone or the other stands up to that bully.thats natural.anyway today as fa as we are concerend complaining about bullying rarely acheives anything but only makes the situaton much worse.i did that when i was in college and it made my situation much worse.anyway one day i sttod up to my bull,ies and punched them in the nose.actually in my opinion bullying is humannature and it actually makes us stronger esp when we stand up to such bullies! http://www.nobully.org.nz/advicek.htm http://www.bullying.org/ http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp
1 person likes this
@shaf732 (85)
• Singapore
30 Dec 06
I am not agree that everyone can be bullied, not all figures are same, there are good people, bad people. We can protect from another peolpe make us bullying, we must be confidence on ourself. For example, if we are working in a company, you must be honest, loyal to your work, point out the problems, do not keep quite.In short, I say that you respect the people who respect you, must be confidence what you have, do not give a chance to another make you bully.It is deeper issues, it needs more discussion and views.
@dexter5 (297)
• India
30 Dec 06
i have been bullied too. i don't think ant=y lecture or talk will stop this bullying.once a person eho is bullying is himself bullied he may stop this habit. but this is not true for everyone
1 person likes this
@Zhanec (1653)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 06
u cant avoid of being bully by bullier.All u can do is proctecting youself.Bulliers use harh words to hurt their victims,they use their mouth more often thAn Mind.So basically,the bullies never use their mind before making actionS.If u want to proctect yourslef from being targeted as a victim,just remind urself "im not like what the person saying,i have faith in myself".."your words wont be able to hurt me"
1 person likes this
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
Those people who bully others are the most insecure people. They want the insecurities of others will first be obvious for the others wont see their own insecurity.
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
30 Dec 06
There usually are deeper issues, just as you asked. In a nutshell, both the victimizer and the victim are suffering from a lack of Love (especially for themselves.) If the bully had felt Love for himself and his elders/role models (assuming they were good role models) then he wouldn't be acting this way in the present. If the victim of said bullying had considerable Love for him/her self (read as: self-esteem) then the bully would have very little power over him or her. A book I suggest you read to learn a little about the intracies of human behaviour is "Games People Play" by Eric Berne. Once you've got that one down, follow it up with "I'm Okay, You're Okay".
@jackf501 (855)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 06
Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all. In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.
@sahergul (774)
• Pakistan
30 Dec 06
well its all about education and mostly depends upon culture, values and norms... how one is equiped with things i mentioned... be the one to guide others... cheers :)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I believe that the reason why people bully is because of ignorance and self-hate!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
bulying could never be stopped,their is no way to end it from all around the world
1 person likes this