if you found out a family member was gay would you disown them

@rice5899 (193)
United States
December 29, 2006 7:47pm CST
this is happened within my family many years ago and I still don't understand how anyone can disown a person, just because they are a little different in one way. This is something that has not been talked about for many years, and the member that was disowned is no where to be found and yes I do wonder about the said person at times, does the persons immediate family care at all, no of course not. So my question is, would you disown someone if they came out to you
11 people like this
39 responses
• United States
30 Dec 06
i wouldnt disown them because they are still family and i happen to like gay people gay men are for some reason very funny and if its a girl who is gay if she acts manly she can fight my battles for me lol
3 people like this
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
30 Dec 06
They are great people, I am a very open minded person and have never had any problems with the fact that someone is gay or so on, its their life and they are just like us anywya
2 people like this
@pendragon (3354)
• United States
30 Dec 06
My family hasn't disowned me, but has been overwhelingly accepting of my life and they adore my gf to bits! I have been very lucky in this way, I truly had no idea how they would react, I love them dearly so Im glad this was the outcome.
1 person likes this
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I am glad to hear that you had such a wonderful outcome, there needs to be more people like your family out there in this world
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
30 Dec 06
No I wouldn't disown them. In fact I'd support their decision to tell us all about it. I can't speak for what my parents would do but I know I'd be by their side. Society can be cruel enough on someone who is gay without adding the problems of family as well. We should accept those we care about, not try to change them. We may not always like their choices or actions but being gay isn't a choice. It's how the person is. It would be like disowning a child just because he had brown hair and the parents were blondes. It isn't the child's choice in how he is. I feel for you and the family member this happened to. I hope you can find the person in time and perhaps mend the breach between you.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
30 Dec 06
To me, family can be more cruel than society. I still often live in fear that I will be kicked out. Which is why I saved up and now have a "out of the closet fund". If my parents get out of denial and realize I won't change, they may kick me out. I've got enough to put a months rent on an apartment and live in a motel for a week. It sucks, but my parents are just really really homophobic so I can't trust them.
1 person likes this
30 Dec 06
One of the members of my family is gay. She's not in my immediate family, she's my cousin, but we grew up together and have always been close. Anyway when she came out to me a few years ago it didn't affect our relationship at all. I wasn't at all surprised she turned out to be gay, in fact I think the rest of the family is kind of stupid for not having figured it out for themselves ;) I haven't told my parents (her aunt and uncle) because I don't think that's my decision to make, but even though they're a different generation that isn't quite as tolerant they certainly wouldn't stop speaking to her or considering her as part of the family. I don't understand people who would do that, they obviously didn't love their child/sibling that much to start with or it wouldn't even cross their minds.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Absolutely not! I would be honored if a family member came out to me, would fully support them, and would even help show them around and be there for them. My family may disown me though when I turn 25 and I still won't be straight.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
Of course I wouldn't disown him. lol Being gay is the person's right to be. They have the right to choose what they want to be. My uncle is gay and I didnt disown him.
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
30 Dec 06
No, I would not disown them. You don't get to pick who your family is. Your kids are your kids, your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, siblings are your relatives no matter what. Nothing is more important than family and you should always love and support your family no matter what.
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
30 Dec 06
exactly how I feel, there is no reason to disown someone over this, family should be important no matter what and this person was shown the door and was a great part of our lives back when I was younger
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Have you thought about getting in touch with this person to see how they are doing?
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
30 Dec 06
yes of course I have thought about that and in fact, about 10 years ago, tracked the person down and was able to see them for a bit, but then the person disappeared once again. They are really scarred due to the most of the family just not caring
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
31 Dec 06
Disown your own flesh and blood? NO way! But yes I've heard it's happened and how mothers and fathers can do that to their own child is terrible. At the end of the day how they live their lives is up to them, would parents prefer it if their son or daughter was out in society robbing people instead of wanting to be with someone that they truly loved! If my son or daughter came to me and said they were gay I would accept them and I would say son at the end of the day you are still my son and I accept you for what you are. They should be given support, not ostracized and abandoned.
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I like your way of thinking, I feel the same way, I would support my chlidren and be behind them every step of the way, no one can help who they are
• Canada
31 Dec 06
I would not disown my family member. I would just put as much distance between us as possible and weaken the relationship. I have nothing against gays i just don't want one in my family
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
31 Dec 06
to me this seems just about the same thing, you would be just doing it in a different way
@dominican (202)
• Philippines
31 Dec 06
I would'nt disown him/her just because he's/she's gay, every person deserves love and respect whether their straight or gay. They should be given equal treatments especially by their own family.
• United States
31 Dec 06
Nothing would change with me and that family member whatsoever, although I may be a bit worried about them. Not because they are gay, but because how our society still treats gay people. Why people have to make it their personal business what other people are doing in their own relationships is beyond me. That time could be better spent in a soup kitchen helping out people in need.
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
31 Dec 06
No way, if one of my 3 sisters came to me and told me they were gay i'd let them know i was 100% behind them. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest..:)
• Australia
31 Dec 06
I would not disown them, but I am afraid God would.
• United States
31 Dec 06
I probably would not "Disown" them. I meanif they ever needed me i would probably still be there for them but I would deffinately be a lot more distant from them.
@krizz420 (4389)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
No I wouldnt disown them. I dont think being gay really affects how good of a person they might be so I dont tend to judge like that.
• United States
31 Dec 06
I can and /or would disown a lifesyle. Not he family member.You can pick your nose ,freinds and lifestyle.but your stuck with your blood line.Like it or not...love it or leave it.
@kaspyv (1011)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I would never disown a family member for being gay, in fact I would rejoice in the fact that they could be open about it. I know it isn't something they choose to be, they were born gay. I think the disgrace here is that uninformed, uneducated family and friends do not even get bother to get the facts about gays before they would condemn a person for their way of life.
@ilvrshn (463)
• United States
30 Dec 06
No way, i found that gay people are some of the best people to talk to. They sure can do some hair to. Mines make me look like a diva everytime I see him!
• United States
30 Dec 06
There is nothing wrong with someone being gay. Especially if it was a family member, I would back them up and say I am happy for them if that is what they want. Gay people have rights just like straight people do. Some people change back to straight after they find that being gay is not what they really wanted. Some are bi.
@emarie (5454)
• United States
30 Dec 06
well, i did find out my 2nd cousin was gay about a year ago. not just gay, but a cross dress...i don't know how the rest of the family feels since i don't see them, but i'm fine with it...i kinda could see it comming anyway. the one problem i have with him is he stole money from my sister, thats not nice. i really don't understand either how someone can disown family for something petty like that...you should always forgive. my aunt decide to "somewhat" disown us because she was convinved that my father had a different father then her's (which isn't true, but my grandmother did cheat on her first husband with my grandfather who she did marry). i mean, depending how close the family member is to me, it wouldn't effect me that much. i mean, i know my 2nd cousin, but we didn't hang out all the time. so i was like "cool, good for him"...but he was a cutie though..