Finding out your Spouse/Partner is Gay

I dont understand how a man can get married and NOT know that he is actually gay. But I know it happens quite often, apparently because of religious and family pressure. I feel extremely sad for the wives in those situations. If I were a woman who found her husband is actually gay, I would get a divorce, I would not be able to deal with what he does behind my back!

i will be devastated if i find out that my partner is a gay...before or after married..i will definitely end the relationship/marriage immediately. i dont think i could be so open minded to accept the fact. but then, i have a gay friend who told me once that how he wish he could try to love women and start a family too...and he did try to do 'it' with another women...but he just couldnt get the feeling of being aroused....

as long as he's faithful to me and keeps me satisfied, i wont have any problem about my spouse being gay :)

I have never experienced or know anyone like this. I can only guess at my opinion. If I found out my husband was gay, I would still stay with him, unless he was cheating. A cheat is a cheat.

i think people have an indication they are gay at an early age, but some try not to act on those feelings as fear of rejection. I don't think i could stay with a gay man, i would have to get a divorce, but depending on how i felt i would try to stay friends with him.

I don't know of anybody personally who has faced this situation, but I have seen talk shows about this. It seems to be a hard thing for these people to stay together after something like that. Is it even possible for that to happen? I do believe that it is possible to know that you're not gay until you're married, although I think you should have quite a good knowing before hand.

I think the act of taking a "forever" vow, makes people think "no i can't live like this forever",that when faced with the forever ultimatum, and it doesnt make them happy or they finally get that they're lying to everyone involved even themselves that they want to dash their shackles to the environment and person theyre with.My first gf realized she was straight, my second ex left a husband as did my present significant other.They were both with people that they met very young and felt obliged to be with, the sitauation was stifling and torturous for them.

OMG this funny because my husband and I was talking about this tonight we our going out New years eve to a town where I use to hang out and It was bringing back remember and I was saying the one guy and I was really close I thought for sure we would get together then I blame it on the age differents he was 19 and in college I was just 16 well. he comes in whre my mom work and would ask about me he was married they had one kids and then one day my mom called and said russ asked about you and I asked her how he was she said good and then then went on to say he was with his boyfriend I thought I could have passed out on the spot, I have know idea how I would handle it we where really close at one time and if I seen him today well I have no idea.

no i think people realize much before marriage whether or not they are gay

while im not going to say that i wouldnt be heartbroken,, i would have to take into consideration the time invested in the relationship.. now a year or two with no children, id have to make a clean break and just move on as friends or nothing at all. you cant have a romantic relationship with someone thats not attracted to you, period.. (even if they love and care about you!) but in my situation (involving more than 10 years) id be surely very angry and confused (probably in need of a little therapy!) we also have two children, so while it would just be impossible to maintain a marriage or marriage like relationship under those circumstances, (STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS JUST DOESN'T WORK!) i would have to put personal feelings aside and remain friends for the children.. but staying in that type of relationship wouldnt be healthy for either person, no matter how much time together. As far as not realizing if someone who is gay knows or not before marriage or significant commitment, i couldnt tell ya, im straight. but i can tell ya i knew THAT goin in!

I know a man that was married to a lesbian. I don't know if he knew going into the marriage or if she knew either. All I know is we found out about it when they divorced and the woman went to live with her lover. They had two children, I don't remember how old they were, but both kids have great relationships with both their parents. I always wonder if they knew in the beginning or if it just happened afterwards. I do know that they did remain married for a few years after the husband found out about it. He eventually got tired of living a lie and left her.

I don't think that is possible. Probably it was invented. That's my opinion.

i am a man so if my girl friend turn out to be a lesbian its okey with me

if i will be in this kind of situation. i would definitely understand my husband and let him decide what he wants. If he still wants to continue our relationship or to stop... i respect him if its the case.

It's apalling.

I think even being married and they are thoese that declared gays , we have the rights to divorce yea .....

I don't know about not knowing that your gay until after you're married, that's just insane. I would probably stay if he still have some feelings for me.

I think it is trouble for someone to find out something like that. If I found that out I would be out the door in a minute. And would not even look back. I think there are too many gays in the world today. there should not be any.

I think . They is lover . They made us love !

This is your lover