My Girlfriend & I Split Up

@tambdy (1969)
December 30, 2006 3:08pm CST
Well what happened was me and my girlfriend had a big arguement last night through drink which was mainly her fault she keep hitting me. I walked out and got a taxi to my friends bit later on she turns up so i leave there and go to a family members to stay thinking everything will be ok in the morning. This morning i speak to her she was still drunk and says we are finished and her dad was watching the kids and giving her money to go out tonite, he phone is away being repaired so i wont receive any bad texts but i will worry about her. Now even though she said it was finished i know it is not she says that alot but i am so insucure and am worried about what she will be up to as i caught her in a funny situation with her ex at one point but she denied everything and i beleived her because she swore down she did nothing. So guys when tommorow comes and she wants me back what would you do baring in mind i am so bored with mylife and wish i had not setteled down at 19 y/o. Would you go back also i would hate to leave her herself with the kids i would feel i was deserting them. thanks
6 people like this
64 responses
• United States
30 Dec 06
Nobody can really answer that. But, because you are lonely and bored with your life, is not the right reason to go back to her. Drinking will destroy a relationship in time anyways. I think you should move forward, or this will be repeated over and over. She needs to go for help, grow up, and be a mother without drinking. Then she can have a relationship. Good luck.
2 people like this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Your right, the main reason we fight all the time is because of drink. If we want to have a chance we need to stop drinking.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 06
You really do. Do you have a place that you both can go for some help? It's hard to stop drinking, unless you really want to. It is addicting. Good luck my friend. I do hope things work out for you.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
30 Dec 06
Personally I would not have her back as she sounds like she is being a cow to you as for this thing with her Ex well that is debatable As for the Kids you are not deserting them and you need to tell them that to You have a right to see them It sounds like your Girlfriend is not ready to settle down To be honest if Boyfriend was like that I would be very insecure to
2 people like this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Thanks for the response. +
1 person likes this
@doncris (637)
• Romania
31 Dec 06
Hello there! Let me first wish you a happy new year! Second, I'd like to say that you had your kids being too young. I think you should have waited. I mean, look, your girlfriend (from what I understood from you) is not the "stable" type. My guess is that you really had a few "off"s and "on"s....But now with the kids, you have to act like a responsible father and get back with her. Settle down, get her un-drunk!(for Christ's sake, it's not fitting for a mother to be drunk! but then again, she's I guess about your age..)Then have a long, mature talk with her and review your goals. Having kids involves a great deal of growing up, of becoming much more mature. And I think you slightly overlooked that step, if I'm not mistaken (you and your girlfriend as well). Don't get me wrong, I just want to help. So, like I said, settle down, cut it out with the getting-drunk, because you have a great responsibility ahead of you: your children. Don't mess up their lives just because you thought it would be good to have kids at 19 years.... Cheers!
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Brilliant reply, honestly that was it to a tee. I cannot thank you enough for thos words i think that is what i have been looking for. + rating for you.
1 person likes this
@doncris (637)
• Romania
4 Feb 07
Thanks for the best response! I just noticed that! And sorry if I was a bit too harsh...I just wanted to help, really!:))
@UcoksBaBa (802)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 06
You a woman? Or you a man? According to me was better you should not hurry in taking the decision that eventually will make you regretted, but if your decision already round left them but brought as well as your child should not you left because of becoming your burden.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
30 Dec 06
Thanks for your reply i am a man, :*
• India
31 Dec 06
Okay man, do not be rushing and lose your mate here!
@shywolf (4522)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I am a little bit confused because you didn't explain everything fully, at first it sounds like she is just your gf but then you mention kids at the end like you are married with children. It does sound to me, however like this woman is not treating you right. I feel badly about the situation that you caught her in with her ex, and I wonder what was going on there, no matter how much she denied that anything happened. It just sounds like she treats you kind of badly, and I feel like you would be better off with someone else. But if that would mean leaving your kids... well, that is so much harder of a decision :/ You have to do what feels right for your heart, in the end.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
11 Jan 07
Hi there, yes we do have kids but we are not married, thanks for the reply some useful information in there.
@anilcute (233)
• India
7 Jan 07
Nothing to worry. even I do have a grl friend and all these are commom with us. But 24 hrs are required to restart our love. Understand
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
11 Jan 07
No i dont really understand, lol yeah only joking anilcute. Thanks for the reply.
@Echo123 (155)
• United States
31 Dec 06
All I had to read was that she kept hitting you. If there is any hitting going on with either of you, you would be best to the end the relationship now. At 19 you are young and youth = beauty no matter what you may be feeling right now. Put this unhealthy realtionship behind you and open you eyes to all the world has out there for you to experience.
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Thanks for the kind words, have a happy new year.. +
@Trace86 (5034)
• United States
31 Dec 06
She has no right to hit you. If you hit her, you would be in jail. Give her some time to cool down and then sit her down and have a serious discussion about your relationship. Only the two of you can decide if it is strong enough to continue. Just because you love her doesn't mean it is a healthy situation for you to be in. If she is mean and controlling, then you can do better, If you do decide to split up, you have a right to still see you kids. Only you can decide what to do. We can't tell you what to do.
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
I know thats how i bite my tounge i would never hit her, nice reply thanks +
• India
31 Dec 06
pls relax.. nd u can tell her peacefully nd everything is going to be k
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Ok thanks for the reply.
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Are these your children? It sounds like a bad situation, drinking, fighting, violence. It also sounds like you have more common sence than she does, however, I can only tell you what I told my own son, if the girl hits you, disrespects you, cheats on you --RUN! RUN FAR! RUN FAST!If they are your kids, pay child support, get visitation, but leave that girl in the dust!
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
thanks for that she wont see me for dust lol
@jesi06 (279)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I am sorry to say this, but this woman seems to enjoy treating you poorly. She is controlling and quite frankly you should end the relationship for good. If these are your children then you care for them as such. This doesn't mean you must stay with their mother. In fact staying, could very well make it worse for the children. They are very smart and see things many times even BEFORE us adults do. The reason you are probably insecure is because of her abuse. When you are told over and again that nothing is yours even though you are the one who truly owns it you begin to believe everything thats said. She is bashing you and making you feel less of a human...and that is REALLY no good. Let her go once and for all. You will meet a wonderful woman one day who will treat you with respect and love just as you truly do deserve. I wish you all the luck.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
I think she does like to control things and it would be better if we did walk away, but on the other hand i do love her and want to be there for the kids.
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
Well first of all it sounds like the drinking needs to stop...because it is obvious there are fights when she drinks..I don't know if you were drinking. It sounds like you two have some problems together that you need to work on..especially for the kids. I would sit down and have a serious talk with her...if you want to save this relationship...if not then you need to decide that as well...I hope you can come to a decision....something has to change here....
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
You right we need to have a serious chat, but we dont talk we just ignore things as if they did not happen.
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
31 Dec 06
It sounds as though you two are not right for each other if you are arguning a lot. Maybe you need to think about it a whole lot before going back.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
thanks for the reply. +
• India
31 Dec 06
I am totally confused, maybe u should have specified. whose kids they r. but on the whole i can tell u one thing-- RUN AWAY
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
I have said the kids are mines, and running away is not a option thanks for the reply anyway.
@natuser28 (907)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Its time to move on. Its sounds like this relationship is on the rocks. Drinking always brings out the truth.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Thanks for the reply +
@locolady (375)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
well you got a tough one there mister,are they your kids?wether they are or aern't I hope that you aren't staying there just for the kids sake,cause that just makes things worse...If you think that this relationship is worth it then stay,if not this might be your chance to make a run for it-theres always more fish in the sea...
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
thanks for the reply, good reply i know there is more fish in the sea plenty lol. yes they are my kids +.
• Canada
31 Dec 06
I think you have done right. atleast you have thought little different.
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
thanks for the reply.+
• India
31 Dec 06
this is really terrible situation for u
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Dont i know it, thanks for the reply anyway.
@Sir_bobby88 (8245)
• Singapore
31 Dec 06
Congrats you finally got your own freedom yea so why not cheer up a bit no point to get upset yea
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
lol straight to the point ahh. thanks for the reply anyway.
• Philippines
31 Dec 06
well it is normal for couples to fight..me and my boyfriend had a fight just last week,and we didn't talk for 3 days!!imagine that!but we're ok now..so i think a little sweet talk would bring you two back together..so you have kids huh?! well a more concrete reason not to split up,bec you have kids!and it's not that she cheated on you or something right?so if that hasn't happened then hold on,and don't ever let go.good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@tambdy (1969)
31 Dec 06
Thanks for your reply and kind words.+