cooking while drunk
By rackback
@rackback (121)
United States
December 31, 2006 12:28am CST
So one night many years ago... I got home from the bar and decided to pop some popcorn. I didn't have a popper, so I had to do it the old fashioned way with oil. I was heating the oil up and decided to put on some music. I guess it took me longer than normal to pick a CD because when I put a kernel in the oil to see if it was hot enough it didn't pop, but burst into flames along with all the oil in the pan. It was horrible, thick, black, stinky smoke just started billowing up. I got the fire out by putting the lid on the pan. It had burnt the non-stick coating right off the pan and the house stunk for like 2 days.
Another time after coming back from the bar, I decided to make club spinach (don't ask why). I put a can of spinach in a pyrex measuring cup with shredded cheddar and crush saltines on top, put it in the oven, forgot what I was doing and went to bed. In the morning my exwife was wagging a measuring cup with what looked like a charcoal briquette bouncing around inside. She was like "what the hell are you trying to do, burn down the house?"
Anybody else got some good cooking while drunk stories? I'd like to hear them.
7 people like this
26 responses
@kris55 (848)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
I have far, far too many to tell......Most recently went into a mens washroom with a friend of mine (also a girl) at a coffee shop, there was a whole bunch of police officers sitting outside of the washroom, my friend and I waltzed into the mens washroom, looked at the man at the urinal peeing, said hi, and both went into the stall together to take turns going pee!!!
1 person likes this
@tictac714 (975)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I've never cooked after drinking. What I did do, wwas nearly pop my eardrum trying to clean my ear out with a qtip after coming home from the bar.
Not a good idea.
@WhatsHerName (2716)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Actually I can cook pretty good when I'm drunk. If you cook on a wood stove you pretty much can't burn anything I learned. You can fall asleep or get sidetracked for as long as you want, the food won't burn nor the house. The fire will always go out first.
I did the same thing with popcorn sober. I was just going to let the oil boil. Lol, I didn't know oil does not boil. A cute boy came to the door and when I got back the pan was in flames. I didn't know you don't put water on a grease fire so I ended up with a fire twice as big as when I started. If you noticed all your walls, cupboards and curtains were probably full of black soot.
1 person likes this
@JulietsMom777 (1182)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I've never tried cooking while drunk. That is so scary people shouldn't try to do anything after they had been drinking because they are not aware of their surroundings and can seriously hurt themselves or other's.
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
I actually don't have one of myself...I am usualy pretty good in the kitchen drunk or sober...However...my father-in-law used to drink. One Thanksgiving he had us over for dinner along with a close friend. He was drunk. He always insists on whipping potatoes with an electric mixer...My friend and I were watching him and he was so drunk the potatoes were spraying all over the cupboards..and he was laughing...So were my friend and I....
1 person likes this
@Justme2007 (1848)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I don't drink but my mom does and she used to come home after driving us in the car and put on eggs and boil them until the house was full of smoke.I would get up and go air out the house Thank god we are still alive to tel this tale. lol
1 person likes this
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
31 Dec 06
LOL... We shall all add this to our lists of do not do Drunk Things... the list is pretty long already... drunk dialing, drunk texting, obvious drunk driving, lol
@peaceful (3294)
• United States
1 Jan 07
Being a Kitchen Wizard and big fan of magickal substances, such as fine Irish whisky, I always have a few good ones to tell...
One once I was making my famous brandy-poached games hens with pears and, of course tasting the flavouring elements all along the way...
I had a very frisky girlfriend at the time who kept "messing around" with me during the cooking process...
Until she convinced me somehow to give her what she was after...
20 minute later, the effects of brandy and the after-effects of our "horizontal tango" lulled me into slight dream-state, during which I imagined, a fully feathered game hen on fire...
Oh no!!!!... I ran into the kitchen and there was my prized meal, burnt to cinders...
Luckily I had the sense to use a heavy cast iron skillet, instead of one of those sadly pathetic aluminum things, the whole darn kitchen would have gone up in flames...
From now on... I will surely remember which bird I'm going to make first! :)
@kfg20012003 (1037)
• India
1 Jan 07
i have not tried to cook while drunk,also dont ever try to do such things ,it can make ur house into ashes
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
1 Jan 07
lol..ohh myy!! im so glad you didnt end up buring your house down!! I only did something like that once, it was about ohh maybe 10 yrs ago i was about 23,and i was soo damn hungry,and i craved spaghetti..with butter, soo i heated the water and put in the noodles..welll....i dont know or remember how many hours went by because i fell asleep at my computer, but i woke up to the smell of smoke..and there was black smoke all over my house!! Here the noodles were burning in the pan and the water evaporated..!! omg!! and that was the day i decided to get a smoke detector..well it was the next day when i woke up..but it was the first thing i did in the morning..
@krizz420 (4385)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
No cooking stories but I remember acouple of years ago I moved out of a house Id been in for 10 years. After the move I went and got hammered and needless to say I woke up in that house the next day. I guess I went back to the house the night before when I was hammered, crawled in the window and went to sleep on the kitchen floor. You'd think I would of noticed there was'nt any furniture but I didnt.
1 person likes this
@chiquita1977 (1706)
• United States
1 Jan 07
im not a drinker but,you should of learned by now not to cook while you are drunk it is very dangerous to do and you could burn down the house or even burn in the house that would be a horrible tradgedy.make this your lesson do not cook while your drunk.get take out if your hungry.but dont drive have it delivered.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
31 Dec 06
he he he, i have a few but the classic oneis that after cooking, eating and falling asleep I woke up in the morning and while preparing breakfast I couldn´t find the cheese. It was gONE. I later found it on the stand where we put our shoes. Do not know how it go there *hehehe*
1 person likes this
@sellj75 (208)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Well, this one is not about myself, but I remember when I was very young my mother and I came home one afternoon to find my dad had decided to bake a frozen pizza after he came home drunk. I guess he passed out before it was ready, but when we got home it was black all the way through. I was only about 7 or 8, but remember it very clearly.
@pendragon (3350)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Lol, I don't drink and rarely cook, but it would be a mega disaster, i tend to burn things fully sober!
@CheckNitout (853)
• United States
31 Dec 06
A friend of my husband was staying with us a little while while he got on his feet. Apparently he had gone out and got wasted. We were all asleep and I had just had my first child about a month earlier. All of the sudden I wake up to this loud noise. The guy is passed out in my kitchen and a can of peas were exploded all over the ceiling, walls, floor, every where. It looked like he had tried to sit the can on the burner and warm it up. He passed out and forgot it was there and the can actually shot up and hit the hood over my stove (putting a huge dent in that) and I guess thecan just exploded. It was such a stinky terrible mess. Gosh it makes me mad just talking about it again. :o
@taruha (559)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I am not able to cook properly even when i am sober,so i cannot imagine how i will perform when drunk.may god save those who have to eat the food cooked by me when i was drunk.some of my friends are master cooks after drinks and are lousy cooks when sober,but that is an individual affair.
@joedecker126 (24)
• United States
1 Jan 07
A few weeks ago a buddy of mine and I came back from the bar. We didn't have anything that would have been easy to make, so we fired up the grill. We made chicken, garlic bread, and vegetables, it would have been enough to feed four persons.
It was all very good and hit the spot at that point, however a few days later when I went to grill again it wouldn't light. It appears we left the propane on after we took the food off.
JLD
