When skinny people tell you to lose weight., remember they don't have a clue.

@kbkbooks (7028)
Canada
December 31, 2006 1:22pm CST
I have people in my life who are very thin. They have always been very thin. They don't know what it means to be ten pounds overweight, let alone 50 or more. I had a doctor tell me, that because of all my meds, and my physical pain and condition, I probably won't ever be thin. That is very frustrating to me. I used to walk 3 miles a day, I used to stretch without pain, etc. He told me to remember...People who are thin and think they are telling you in your best interest to lose weight, can be quite annoying and also harmful to your psyche. Remember these people don't have any idea what it is LIKE to be fat. Everyone's body and health is individual and must be treated as such. When thin people tell you to lose weight and how to do it, save yourself a lot of grief and just let it go in one ear and out the other. They don't know what you are up against unless they are a doctor or scientist.
6 people like this
54 responses
@goldjay (465)
• United States
31 Dec 06
There are so many reasons why some peopole are heavier than others. Heavy people don't necessarily eat more than skinny people either! Skinny people just don't get this, in my opinion! You have to do what is healthy for your body and not worry about what other people say or expect you to do.
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Thanks. It's true that what is good for one isn't always good for another. That's why there are different kinds of exercise, different eating plans, different meds, etc, for all the different people.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I've found this to be quite true. I'm average/skinny (okay, if size 10 can be skinny, I am skinny). I eat a ton. I have friends that weigh 300 pounds and eat less than I do. But telling them that they *should* lose weight could still be true if they were to get health conditions from that weight problem. It would be harder for them, yes. But if *they were interested* I would help motivate them and go out and exercise with them.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Of course she should lose weight and of course it's true, but she doesn't need to be told over and over. We're fat. We know we are fat. We don't need to be told. By criticizing you keep making it more and more difficult. I know you probably mean well, the best way is just to stop repeating it to her.
@greengal (4286)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I totally agree with you on this one. My husband is a little on the thin side..he is correct for his age though..but no matter what he eats he stays that way...i'm not like that..I think if I just look at food I put on weight..hehe..let alone eat it!:) When we first got married he kept telling me that I need to get rid of the flab on my tummy (that's the only fat I have) I'm overweight by a couple of pounds and I did find it very offending when he kept telling me to lose weight. It in fact almost drove me to depression. I finally told him to shut up..ya I had to..then suddenly he snapped out of it and accepted me the way I was. I want to lose the flab too but not when somebody is constantly prodding me. We both go to the gym together, and I'm well on my way shaping up.:)
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Yay, may you have a healthy 2007.
1 person likes this
@janet069 (663)
• United States
31 Dec 06
The same can be said for quitting smoking. The ones that tell you to quit don't have a clue. I know it is a horrible habit and I wish I could find a way to quit that would not lead me to commit homicide! But being overweight is also a burden. It is not easy to lose weight and keep it off. We are creatures of habit and we always go back to our old ways. Hopefully 2007 will be a better year for you. Take it one day at a time and enjoy each day you have. We can all look around and find somebody who is worse off than we are.
3 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
I am always hoping my stepdaughter will quit smoking. I don't bug her that much, I hope. I know what it's like to quit. I quit in January 1984. :-) You know, though, there are times I STILL want at least a puff. It's not easy for sure.
2 people like this
• India
31 Dec 06
I do beleive the same.It is very fruststrating to hear about overwieght aspect from others.By the by it is very difficult to lose couple of pounds.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Yes, that is the truth!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 07
Maybe they are just wanting you to lose weight so that you can be healthly. I would not say that they are clueless, concerned maybe but not clueless. I am thin and people assume that I don't eat... People are concerned that I have an issue. I take the time to tell them that I have a thyroid condition that makes my metabolism go crazy. When they hear this, they say "Oh, I see" and then they don't bug me anymore.
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Many of them ARE clueless. Even if they want you to lose weight for your own good, they never know what is involved or how difficult it is. I understand there are very very thin people who have problems to gain weight too. We who are heavier can't imagine what it is like for you to try to actually gain weight. I would never presume to tell a skinny person they need to put on weight even if it is just for their health.
@Jlowe110 (313)
• United States
31 Dec 06
Yeah I agree, seriously, if they were overweight, chances are they wouldn't lose any weight either. Keep in mind, overweight people can beat up skinny people, so if anyone messes with them..
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Amusing, but probably true. Thanks for the giggle.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
1 Jan 07
LOL! One of my friends who is overweight always tells me she'll just body slam me if I don't agree with her. ;) But don't underestimate the power of skinny people to lose weight. Most anorexic friends I had were actually skinny to begin with. I wasn't that fat either at 130. Lost 40 pounds. But not a good way to lose it and I wouldn't recommend it!
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
That's what an anorexic is. They are usually already skinny when they start to lose weight. That's the sickness is that they think they are fat and see themselves as fat even though they are not.
@Metallion (2229)
• United States
31 Dec 06
not all of them are doing it to be mean or cruel, I am in the same situation dropped from 235 to 172, and now back to 220 because I can't be as physically active as I was when I lost the weight. But I'm going back on a similar plan that helped me lose before starting Tuesday and will see how it works.
2 people like this
@acosjo (1904)
• Canada
31 Dec 06
Losing weight is one thing but keeping it off is another. I've told people that being healthy (losing weight) is not a one time thing, it's a lifestyle choice. This has to be something that stays with you because as you've seen in many discussions of losing and gaining back, once you lose it, it's not over. You still have to keep excersising, eating right etc. I use to be in the fitness industry and have seen people lose weight. There was one girl in pariticular that went to my gym and I remember when she signed up what she looked like, a year later she was in amazing shape (and hot too). The great thing is she never stopped coming to the gym and I talked to her all the time, helped her with her mechanics and she shared with me what she eats. That's what it takes. Her "lifestyle" changed, not a one time thing. I trust you guys will accomplish your goals. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Thanks for the encouragement. I hope all who are trying will be able to succeed.
1 person likes this
@umjuna (100)
• Netherlands
4 Jan 07
I think I know what you mean, it applies to other situations as well. For example when you are pregnant or you just had a baby, people feel like they know it all and have to give you their advice. Even the ones who have never been had children or have never ever been pregnant at all. Then I think to myself, please mind your own business and leave me alone. If I need advise I will ask for it. And I will probably find someone who really knows what they are talking about. Like a doctor or something.
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
5 Jan 07
That is exactly true. Not only do pregnant women have to listen to everyone's advice, fathers and mothers, they also have to live through dozens of their friends and acquaintances and strangers telling them horrible stories about labor and delivery. People did it to me and I am sorry to say I do it to people all the time. (blush)
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
If someone who has had a weight problem and was able to lose the weight in a constructive way tells you that you need to lose weight... yeah it still hurts but it doesn't seem so hypocritical. But yeah, I totally agree, a skinny person who tells you to lose weight, someone skinny all of their lives tells you that, they are so wrong! They have no idea what it's like to have those unwanted extra pounds and they need to shut up! It reminds me of those who are judgemental towards me of things that I suffer from that they have no clue about! Jerks!
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
Thank you for supporting my view. Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
2 Jan 07
I totally agree with you. I have a few friends who are skinny as well, this one in particular, used to tell me that "at least, you're proportionated" !! Can you believe that? And she used to say that she was fat and that she had a big butt. The girl weights 120lbs... i weight more than twice her weight...but i'm proportionate, so it's ok...
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
That is rude, but it is also hilarious. As if that is supposed to make you feel better. In high school a friend of mine wrote a short story about a woman who was really fat, but actually was attractive. It was called "What a Shame, She Has Such a Lovely Face." Sometimes people are definitely ignorant when trying to be nice instead!!
1 person likes this
@meeoww (1174)
• United States
1 Jan 07
You know, it's sad. I don't even offer suggestions unless someone asks anymore. People think that I'm "so skinny" just because I'm small (a whopping 4ft-almost 11in) and I have a waist. Hello?!?! I'm the one that looks at me naked every day. I've got fat. When I was in my 30's, I went from a size 12 to a size 16. On my body frame, that is alot. 10 lbs shows on me ALOT more than it does on a 5ft 5in body. Who knows what size I would be by now if I had not realized that. Not that I think that I'm terribly overweight, but put simply, I've got fat that I don't need. And it IS an effort for me because I DO love to eat and I can't handle the discipline of a good diet. Also, I've taken college courses in fitness and nutrition, so I do understand how the body works and how different foods/exercise/meds/etc affect the body. If I don't mind my food intake, I gain weight. If I moderate, my body stays naturally at a pretty even weight. Now that I'm getting older, the exercise is more of an issue for me. So sometimes, you need to consider the sources of information a little further than just judging by the weight of the person offering information. Just because you think I'm skinny doesn't mean that it's not an effort for me. After all, I am what you see BECAUSE of my knowledge and effort. Aloha!
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
Self image means so much. It's true when you are smaller, a change shows more. Take care of yourself.
• Romania
1 Jan 07
i'm verry agree with you and i'm a thiny girl.I'm 45 and height 1.56.So i am totally agree with you.It's verry hard i imagine and every organism react different at every people in part.As long as you are healthy that is what is important.i have a friend which is a little fatty but i adore her becouse he is not intricated.She lives her life and she is a verry gladly person.I licke her and appriciate her verry much.She is verry beautifull and i love her prezence.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
Thanks. Happy new year and health to you and your friend.
@rekhitha (176)
• India
1 Jan 07
yea... u r true... but i think it applies for the reverse too... "When fatty people tell you to gain weight., remember they don't have a clue."
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
That's probably true. I've never told a thin person to gain weight.
@freesoul (3023)
• Egypt
1 Jan 07
I'm a "skinny never been fat" person, I don't go around aggravating over weight people telling them how important to lose weight but often they start saying how I'm lucky to be thin and how they wish to be like me, etc so I talk about it.. I know that many over weight people will not say these remarks but some do.. Not knowing anything about losing weight is not always true but not knowing how it's to be fat you are right.. over all if your doctor tells you it's hard for you to lose weight then he knows best but without any certain medical conditions any one over weight can lose the extra weight and become slim using the right combination of dieting and exercising, it's what you put in and what you burn, if there's no medical condition that miss up this system then anyone can become slim with some effort.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
Thanks very much for your sincere respect. I wish you health and happiness.
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
31 Dec 06
You can smile and say, "Thanks, I will consider that" as you let it go out the other ear. Weight loss is a very touchy subject. At least your doctor is telling you the real truth.
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
If they catch me on a good day, that's usually the way I handle it. If I am having a bad day...watch out.
1 person likes this
@doniker (493)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I am a 43 years old man and I am currently at my all time highest weight, 280 lbs. I hate it. I am constantly out of breath and feel miserable. When I was younger I could eat anything and not gain weight but once I hit age 30 that changed. I was up to 275 pounds 5 years ago, went on a low fat diet and I got down to 225 pounds. Losing the weight was easy, keeping it off was the problem. Once I reached my goal I started to slip into my old bad habits. I love to cook and eat. Well I am going back on my diet and this time I will have to learn to stay on it forever. What is worst than thin people telling you to lose weight is thin people trying to force you to eat or go off your diet once you lose weight. Or the constant "how did you do it" questions.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Hugs of encouragement to you. May 2007 be a good year for you. Me too I love to cook. I am always experimenting and never leaving any recipe or box food just the way its supposed to be. Try finding recipes like Richard Simmons stuff. I don't like him but I love that he revamps everything to make it taste good and similar to the originals.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 06
I can really relate to that, thanks for posting. I am overweight as well, I am taller so I can pull it off well but I know that I need to lose it. My mom is really skinny because she has a thyroid condition so while I'm gaining weight, she's always losing. It's hard because we used to be the same size in clothes and then I just started gaining weight about three years ago. She doesn't understand what a struggle it can be, especially when she tries to make me feel better by saying "ooh you've lost weight haven't you!" when I really haven't.
2 people like this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
Thanks for posting Hon. I have always been told I wear my weight well, too, but that doesn't keep me from feeling it's there. Thanks for participating.
1 person likes this
@LovingIt (5398)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I partly agree with you, but I party disagree with you also. I have a really hard time losing weight myself and no, I'm stick thin, but I have lost weight. Because I have been successful, I love to share my weightloss secrets with others. I do this, not to make them feel bad, but because I want them to be able to feel better like I do. Personally I don't believe it's totally impossible for anyone to lose weight! It may be really difficult, but it's not impossible. When, we as overweight people, convince ourselves that it's ok to stay overweight, we are really hurting ourselves and dooming ouselves to a life of misery, not to mention, most likely shortening our lives due to health issues that will be associated with it.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
1 Jan 07
Excellent response! That's kind of what I was trying to say too.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
I agree with you 100%. I am talking about thin people who have ALWAYS been thin and never had to fight extra weight. I will gladly take the advice of someone successful. In my case, my formula to lose weight was to use all whole grains (no white bread), use olive oil instead of any other, lots of fresh fruits and veggies and balance of protiens (use PEANUT BUTTER at least once a day...about two tablespoons). Above all walk briskly at least one mile once a day. If it's raining, walk briskly in place at least one TV program. I walked up to three miles most days. That way I lost 50 lbs. before my back became diseased.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
4 Jan 07
That sounds like a good plan to me. I used to ride my bike 100 miles a week and when I did that, I could eat anything. Now I have a car so I'm lazy.
@irmafz (81)
• Pakistan
31 Dec 06
hey its not like that in all cases (: not all thin people mean bad when they tell fat ppl to get slim or pass some likewise comment, mayb some do have rude intentions but like good and bad is everywhere so its not that when ever a thin person tells a fat person to loose weight, the fat person should take it as 'barking dogs neva bite' sorta thing, i mean cmon.. mayb the thin person does really care and want the best for you. Sure its true that a thin person doesnt know how a fat person feels but then do you have any idea wht a thin person feels, sure it does look good on the outer side .. thin waist and all but who knows what the thin person is suffering from inside. So try to be as positive as you can towards everybody and remember its the heart that counts, looks & all r secondary (:
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
1 Jan 07
I agree that being thin can also be a problem for some. What I originally meant was that my mother, who is an extreme health nut, and has never had any problem with weight, makes it seem like it should be easy and tries to make you feel guilty if you don't do just exactly how she says and have success. She has unreasonable expectations. I agree too thin can be a problem as well.
@vivasuzi (4125)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I would never make people feel guilty for not being thin! What agravates me however is when overweight people go on and on about being on a diet, and telling me they WANT to lose weight. Yet when I try to give advice about the diets they are trying or diets they might want to try, they say "what do you know, your thin, you don't have to worry about it." That irks me b/c yes I am thin but I do have to worry about it b/c I could easily gain weight if I didn't try. I agree no one should push you to be thin if you don't want to... but if you say out loud that you want to lose weight, you should at least consider my advice! I stayed thin for a reason, I cut back on portions, and I tried to excercise after any bad meal! I take half my food home from a restaurant NO MATTER WHAT. I cut my meal in half the instant it comes out so I will for sure take half home. That's also good for your wallet :) My point is, thin people can have good advice too - and if you are looking for advice, you should listen to them. BUT if you are like you said in this comment, and you don't WANT the advice, than I can see how that would be very annoying. I never tell someone what they should do, but if they tell me what they want to do I will offer up advice.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
Thank you Suzy Sunshine! Happy New Year to you. Thin people don't even get this discussion for what it is!!
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I don't think that's true. I'm somewhat thin (okay, closer to average). I've been to chubby and I've been to anorexic. I've read a considerable amount on nutrition (far more than most doctors I'm sure), and a lot on health. I may not know what it's like to lose 100 pounds, but I do know that if you need to lose it, you should for your health. And I know a lot of tips about losing weight (but I'll only share the healthy ones!). I know it is hard, I have lost 40 pounds before, it was hard. But it can be necessary for health reasons. Now, never being skinny and being morbidly obese would be two very different things. I don't like the whole "skinny" ideal. I think that's a messed up view. What I think is good, is "healthy". A lot of people just eat junk food and then complain they are obese and they can't do anything about it. While some people genuinely have problems, a lot just lack motivation. If someone was my friend and WANTED to lose weight, I would help them. And they shouldn't think I couldn't help them just because I'm not overweight.
1 person likes this
@CyborgMC (173)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I will agree with that. I hate, I mean HATE the idea that's being spread around that anorexic is healthy. So many of these hollywood stars are prepetuating that thinking too. When Lindsay Lohan began to become of age I though "Mmmm, she's going to grow to become a very attractive young woman", but then she went and became Super bone skinny (and dyed her hair blonde to boot!). And the Super skinny Kate Bossworth that they got to play Lois Lane? Oh my freaking god! Who's labeling that as attractive now?! Overweight is not healthy, but neither is Super Skinny. Someone posted something earlier that is very true, just because a person is skinny doesn't necessarily make them healthier than an overweight person.
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
Again, I am talking about thin people who have NEVER been heavy who sometimes give tireless advice...not people who have lost weight successfully. Why don't people read? Congratultions on your success.
@farkid (84)
• Nigeria
5 Jan 07
I agree indeed
1 person likes this
@kbkbooks (7028)
• Canada
6 Jan 07
Thank you for responding to my discussion.