If You Found Out Your Partner Had Served Time?

@wolfie34 (26792)
United Kingdom
January 1, 2007 9:16am CST
What if you suddenly found out that your partner had done time in prison, would you end the relationship or would it depend on the crime?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
1 Jan 07
Well, I have been with my partner for 16 years...so if I just found out that my partner had done time, that was a pretty serious secret that was kept. And even though my first response would be that it would depend on the crime....the fact that the crime and time was hidden from me for so long would play an effect on ending the relationship or not. I would truly take the crime in consideration. Say he was jailed for drunk driving and after being with him for 16 years, knowing that we don't drink, it would not be an issue. But I would still be upset that he didn't tell me. And before getting married, I already knew that he had a drinking issue and driving while he was drunk issue. It was made clear before marriage, it was something I would not tolerate. An occasional drink is fine...but how often he drank and to the point he drank, we not acceptable. He is the one that decided to give up drinking completely. And I think I helped save him from some very serious mistakes. However, if it were a crime that was rape or something else that is unforgiveable...I do not know that I could stay with him. The secret and the offense would be a hard strain on our relationship. But I would take in consideration of our time together and anything he might say in his own defense. Tough but great question Wolfie!!!
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 07
Thanks for your honest response, I like questions that really make you think long and hard. Happy New Year!
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
1 Jan 07
Well, you definitely come up with some discussions that really make me think. :) If I could give you the award for most thought provoking, I would!!! Thanks for all the great discussions! And happy new year! It's 2007!!!!! :)
@lauczi (964)
• Poland
1 Jan 07
my partner after 6 months of our relationship told me a story from his life when he shot a guy on leg and police was looking for him but he manage to hide for some time and for luck didnt get sentenced. i was quite is shock becuz he seemed to be so lovely guy, not any criminal, but he did it in defence, somebody pushed knife in him. yes, i would prefer he didnt have an event like this but it didnt change my feelings to him. he tasted what is love and now isnt impressed with crime, so i love him in the same way as if he didnt do anything bad.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing, appreciated.
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@dan20071 (724)
• Romania
1 Jan 07
First of all, I would try to ask her about why she didn't tell me about that. Then I would look at what she did and really think about if I can trust her or not. If you can live with all these answers then you mustn't leave her. It can also depend on how much time you've spent with her. If you know her pretty well you'll figure out if she is going to do it again or not..
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@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 07
Relationships revolve around trust indeed. Many thanks for your response. Happy New Year!
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@birthlady (5613)
• United States
1 Jan 07
It would depend on the crime, although my first inclination would probably be to end the relationship.
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@marty3888 (2359)
• United States
1 Jan 07
it would defintly depend on the seriousness of the crime. But it would also depend on things like how long ago it happened and how or why it happened. everybody does stupid things. The very fact thatthe person served time is not as imprtant as whether or not it's going to happen again.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
2 Jan 07
Thank you for your response and welcome to Mylot.
@patootie (3593)
1 Jan 07
I think it would really depend on what kind of crime he had committed .. and whether my partner had ever lied to me previously about being in prison .. Obviously if his crimes had been of the more serious nature his bags would be packed and he'd be out the door lickety split .. and I think whatever crime he had committed I'd want a very long and frank discussion with him about what he'd done .. But I also know that not everyone who commits a serious crime is a completely bad person .. I had a chappie as a lodger for several years and he was an ex-armed bank robber with over 100 robberies to his name .. yet he was the most polite and charming man you could wish to meet with ...
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 07
Just shows you don't know someone completely, regardless of who they are, the quiet ones are always the worst, ooopss I'm quiet ;0) Thanks for sharing!
• Mexico
1 Jan 07
if my partner would have been real loyal to me, she would have told me about the thing before hand, thus not leading to any misunderstandings. Truth and loyalty are the base of a successful relationship.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
1 Jan 07
I would probably call it quits. If it was bad enough to serve time, then it would be questionable and how could you trust them?