Do you judge?

St. Lucia sent before a judge - St. Lucia sent before a judge by Lorenzo Lotto
United States
January 2, 2007 1:39pm CST
I am wondering how many people here on myLot judge a person on their past. For example, if you found out that a friend of your's did a substantial amount of time in prison and you found out about it, would that change your view of your friend? Would you start looking out the corner of your eye at him/her? Would you trust a little less? The prison population in the US is growing almost as quickly as the population itself, so your chances of running into an excon is like 1 in 10. So what do you think?
12 people like this
52 responses
@rmuxagirl (7562)
• United States
2 Jan 07
I don't judge a person on their past. What happened in the past is just that in the past. I'm the kind of person who will always give someone a second chance. If I found out a friend had been in jail it wouldn't make me chance views of them or act differently around them, I would just let them know that if they ended back in jail I couldn't trust that they would change.
• United States
3 Jan 07
That is great. I love your views!! I also try to give everyone a second chance until they mess up again! thank you for your post and have a great day!!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Jan 07
I try not to judge but being human I know I do. It is not right to do it but as humans well do it at one time or another. As far as if I found out a friend had been in prison goes. I change the way I feel about that person at all. We all make mistakes. He/She paid there debt to socity so what's the problem? The only thing I'd wonder is why they didn't trust me enough to tell me they'd been in prison. After all we're supposed to be friends.
5 people like this
• United States
2 Jan 07
Maybe they did not share that information for fear of judgement and the loss of a friend because of their past. I, myself, also try not to judge although that does open the eyes a little further. Thank you for the post and have a great day!
4 people like this
@jenbatres (800)
• United States
2 Jan 07
I don't judge others, I like to get to know a person for who they are. I have 3 friends that did jail time and they are some of the nicest people I have ever met.
5 people like this
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
2 Jan 07
I think it would depend on what they were actually in prison for! If I found out is was for murder, child abuse, or child molesting, or robbery, I would probably keep my distance. If it was for something minor, like bouncing a bad check or tax fraud or something, it probably wouldn't make a difference. Good Topic!
@bodomgirl (1618)
• Italy
2 Jan 07
i am honest sometimes i judge people from their past..
4 people like this
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
3 Jan 07
I usually dont but sometimes I do especially when I see that the person did not learn something good from the previous experience.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Jan 07
that would be considered a righteous judge. If they are still doing the sam old crap they are looking for another "Judgement" anyways!! Thank you for the post and have a great day!!
• United States
2 Jan 07
I don't think I would judge them based solely on having been in prison at one time. However, what they did after they got out would be very telling about their character. Every one deserves a second chance, but they have to make the most of it.
4 people like this
• Ireland
2 Jan 07
Well, if they spent a substantial amount of time in prison, I guess it would be because they did something really bad. Thinking about it, I believe it would make a difference to me and depending on the reason as to why they were in prison, I just might cease to be friends with them. It's a hypothetical question, so it is a bit difficult to answer.
• United States
2 Jan 07
I try really hard not to judge people because I get judged a lot for many things...like I used to pole dance for a living, I am pro-choice and my sons are not biological, they are step... I will have to be honest and say if my friend had done time for rape or murder, that might sway the way I think of them at first until I find out what really happened--angry girlfriend crying rape or maybe justifiable homicide...don't know, I have a lot of friends in my past who have done time, but I don't know what that's like...so who am I to judge anyone? Judging is God's call, not mine.
4 people like this
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
3 Jan 07
I think the important thing to consider is are they doing anything NOW that makes you think you can't trust them? So many people end back in prison because they aren't given the proper support once they're released. Maybe your friend didn't tell you at the start because they wanted to start afresh.
• United States
3 Jan 07
This is also a very true statement. Once we were driving and were stopped for no seat belt. Once the officer seen my husband had a record we were forced to stand on the side of the road while he searched our car. He said "once a crook always a crook". It was embarrassing to say the least and just confirmed that even after being out for 8 yrs and totally honest and clean that these guys are judged unfairly. Don't get me wrong; if my husband had raped or murdered or something like that I don't think I would have given him the time of day. But even though he's been out for 13 yrs now he's still judged on the events that happened over 20 yrs ago; and I'm usually judged because I am married to him.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 07
What a great thought. If someone is a real person then there is no reason to change the way you look at them, since it may only be the fear aspect that kept them from telling you in the first place, such as the second responder.... that police officer is a prime example of why I posted this discussion. When will a person be a productive citizen long enough to loose that stigma?!? Here in Michigan if you have been a productive citizen with no run-ins with the law you can petition the court for an exspongement after 7 yrs. But how long is truely long enough?!? Thank you for the posts and have a great day!!
• United States
3 Jan 07
no i dont judge anyone by their past. i'm on probation right now and my boyfriend has been in jail before. prison or jail doesnt change my view of the person. i dont think i would trust them any less except if they are active in the crimes then i may trust them less. things in the past are exactly that and it may have been something stupid they did when they were younger. that's what happened to me.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Jan 07
the steele bar inn. It is a terrable place to stay on vacation. I have had a few run in s with the law just learn from your mistakes and you will be alright. And being on probation....Keep yourself clean! thank you for the post and have a great day!!
@sunrisekn (1467)
• United States
3 Jan 07
I don't think about stuff like that. I try to get to know the person and go from there. If they give me reason not to trust them, then I will not trust them or give them a chance to be my friend. If they've given me 100% and been honest the whole time then I don't see why not.
@alchemistrx (2569)
• Philippines
3 Jan 07
We are not meant to judge other people because we are all accounted for all that we do by God so if I have a friend who is in prison. I wouldn't judge by I will try very hard to change him for the better so when the time he/she has been good in prison he/she will be given a parole and be set out to start a new unblemished life.
• United States
3 Jan 07
I try to be an open person, and just because they have been to prison does not necissarily mean that they are bad. It would of course depend on what it was for. I also think that they have been given a second chance by being released, why can't we. I know that I have not always done right in my life but that does not make me a bad person.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Jan 07
I try not to
2 people like this
• United States
3 Jan 07
I met a guy 13 years ago that was still incarcerated. I was in a bad marriage and he was what they call a "309"; meaning that he was finishing out his sentence in a county jail instead of prison. He was adorable cute and funny. We begain to talk sometimes for hours on end and he convinced me to get out of that situation. Normally I wouldn't have much to do with someone doing time but his charm was unreal. I asked him what he did to be locked up and he handed me his trial transcript. I became rather angry when I read it. There were so many contradictions in it that his attorney didn't question. HE was not angry, rather beliving that it changed his life. Anyway the long and short of this is that before judging someone for doing time maybe you should get the full jest of what they were charged with. Not all that served time should have. As for he and I?? Well he served a total of 9 years in prison. We married a year after we met and just celebrated our 12th anniversary this past New Years Eve. I've never regretted it. To use my favorite saying: Don't throw rocks till you, yourself can live in a glass house!!
1 person likes this
@ILANEDRI (1922)
• Israel
3 Jan 07
I'm sorry about that. I hope you got over it by now.
• United States
3 Jan 07
Hope that I'm over the bad marriage? Sure...12 years married to a good man always helps. :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 07
I am so glad that you have found that true one for you as for the former, I am sorry that you had to deal with that, and lastly for your husband... Great Job for showing the world that some ex-cons can become decient people. Treat that woman good and remember where you came from since you have an angel!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! Thank you for the post and have a great day! Best responce goes to you!!
• Philippines
3 Jan 07
i do, but how i judge is a different story...
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 07
Interesting comment. Care to eliborate?
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 07
Please elaborate on this since this does not make sence. Are you a judge? A vigilante? A murderer with righteous cause? What?!? Please elaborate.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Not at all..if I did it would make me the ultimate hypocrite really considering my past isnt blemish free in the slightest..I've never done time personally but I've got numerous friends who have, a relative who has, a couple of ex's and my "other" I actually met through his sister while he was in prison serving 7 - 20 for attempted homicide.... I dont like or dislike ppl because of who they were or where they came from...I like or dislike them because of who they are now
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jan 07
Better words have never been spoken!! Thank you for the post and have a great day!!
@bmax849 (61)
• United States
2 Jan 07
I have been a victim of violence. If I found out a friend was convicted of a serious crime, the kind you do a lot of time for, I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them and if you would you aren't very smart.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 07
I am so sorry that you are a victom of violence. That is a huge problem in this day and age and I hope that you are able to heal from it. People do have the tendacy and the ability to change, if a person does truely change and still cannot get a break they are very likely to reoffend, since with offending at least they can do that right and get their recognition! Thank you for the post and have a great day!!
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
Before we judge others we should learn to look at ourself in the mirror.e should not pretend to be clean
1 person likes this
@marryann (45)
• Canada
3 Jan 07
I think it's human nature to pass judgement on a person based on their past to a certain extent. Judgement can be both positive and negative though we tend to focus on the negative. As for a friend in prison, I think the circumstances would really make a difference and also if/how they have changed. That's a tough one. Timeframe would also make a huge difference in my opinion.
1 person likes this