How Women Get To Heaven

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....................................what correlation.......gr8

i love ur joke keep it up.

ha ha nice one.... never play with children's innocence :D

cool one!!!

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly along it at the water`s edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly back to the penguin colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs."

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie. "12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us about two weeks." Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the CN Tower. "What's that building there?" asks the Texan, pointing at the tower. "Danged if I know" replied the cabbie, "It wasn't here when I drove by yesterday."

That was a good one. Hadn't come across this joke so far. Thnaks for making me laugh!

"Okay, Disney World." My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods. "Listen to me!" his mother said sharply, "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?" Matthew thought about that for a moment and said: "Okay, Disney World."

ROTFL! Astonishing joke :-D It is really, really funny! Thanks ;)

Thank you for the joke.It brought a smile to my face. Also,welcome to MyLot and good success.

thejokswasgood but do you think that mommy appreciated that she must have blown her top and got balooned away

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced then husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle,I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnositcally but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and desing a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and adminsitration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: altough he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologis: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was stamp collector: all he ever did was...God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but,why?" "You're a lawyer. this time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Gifts One day The Lord spoke to Aadam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Aadam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new oragans for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eave. oamThe other organ I have for you is called a paenis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and 2007 populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to feb give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" The Lord looked upon hum Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time." ** Small Compensation A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own 005 shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on 22 my shirt again. If the wife 21 finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the ba07 rtender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his ok wife feb jan about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds tjawo twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yea nh, he crapped in my pants, too.”

good one