I'm angry with the local church!
By mamashane
@mamashane (1140)
United States
January 3, 2007 7:11pm CST
My kids go to a youth group every Wed. night at the local church. Several of their friends go too. The pastor of the church is kind enough to transport all the kids back and forth every Wed. night in the church van. The van is big enough for all the kids that get picked up and they all have a seatbelt to wear. Tonight, for some reason, the pastor picked up my kids...he was driving a car that seated 5 people. There were 2 adults in the front and 5 kids in the back seat, that's 5 kids BEFORE my 3 kids! I am just so angry that the pastor would even consider cramming all these kids in the back seat of a car with no seat belts! I don't know the reason for him not driving the van like he usually does but I think he should have cancelled instead of risking these kids lives and breaking the law! These kids are all under the age of 12 or 13, with the exception of my oldest child who is 15, (and she was expected to sit in the back seat with all those kids too!)...I think the youngest is 6. I don't know if the other parents realized how many kids were in the car, or if they checked to see who was picking up their children but I did and when I saw all those kids in there I made my 3 kids stay home! They weren't mad either! I think I should have a talk with the pastor and the parents. What steps would you take? Or would you just let it go?
4 people like this
28 responses
@marryann (45)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
I'd say keep calm, and cease to be angry, but certainly maintain being concerned. Voice your concerns to the pastor, and be sure to let him know the risks involved and that it is illegal. Being a pastor, one would assume he is a reasonable man. You should certainly not let your children get in that car in the future, however.
2 people like this
@tlex107250 (667)
• United States
4 Jan 07
First find out what happened to the van. Was it in the shop? Also mention to pastor, that next time he doesn't have the van, that you would be more than happy to drive your children to the youth group, rather than risk having him getting a ticket from the police. It could have been that the van had to be repaired, and could not be used that night. Also, if something were to happen, there could be a large legal problem, not only for the pastor, but also for the church.
2 people like this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
4 Jan 07
No, I wold definitely not let it go and I would have kept my children home as well. You would think that a Pastor of all people would be more likely than anyone to abide by all laws, especially for the sake of the safety of children. I would tell the other parents as well. They have a right to know .
2 people like this
@kareng (54331)
• United States
4 Jan 07
No, you need to tackle this one head on. Call the church and speak to him directly. Let him know you saw what happened and how many kids were in there. Tell him not to bother to pick your kids up anymore because you do not want to risk their safety. This should be a wake up call to him.
I would also let the other parents know what happened in case they missed it. Nobody in their right mind would approve of this.
2 people like this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I honestly would talk to the pastor about it and let him know that it made me upset. But also, I think you should try to be part of the solution, maybe the van broke down and they don't ahve the money to repair it, or maybe there is some other logical explanation (though it is completely illogical to resort to unsafe traveling conditions) but if the pastor is generally a good guy and this is the biggest screw up he's had, cut him some slack and maybe take your own kids until there's another way, or volunteer to pick some others as well.
2 people like this
@camaroz28 (326)
• Italy
10 Jan 07
I would first consider how long was the journey, how much traffic there is in the area, how dangerous are the roads there and why the pastor behaved in such a way.
The pastor was undoubtedly wrong but I would like to understand his behaviour before "attacking" him: I would speak with him and kindly ask him the reason he took that risk.
If the risk of an accident was very low (if it was a short trip on a low traffic road with few intersections) and the pastor had an acceptable reason and admitted his fault, I would let it go, this time.
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
10 Jan 07
The journey is about 10 miles, round trip. I did speak with the pastor and tonight I will be driving my children myself. It was a stupid mistake on his part and now that I have spoken up and talked with him, I am confident that it won't happen again. He did apologize.
1 person likes this
@MakDomMom (1474)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I would say something to the Pastor right away. He is endangering the safety of those kids. I would also say somthing to the parents of the kids that were in that car. You need to make a fuss about that. If you dont' and it happens again - who knows if something would happen. I pray that it doesn't, but what if??? I don't think you would want to deal with that possiblity.
2 people like this
@foxxeechocolate (525)
• United States
9 Jan 07
just kindly say something or even offer to help carpool next time there is something wrong with transportation
1 person likes this
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
4 Jan 07
OK just to let you know, I'm not a paarent so my opinion will be different. I would have let my kids go if they wanted to. When I was a kid I got "cramed" into vehicles to go places for things. I can think of three times off the top of my head. One, I was in a full sized van with about 12 kids or more. I had to sit on my knees facing backwards because there was so little room.
Two, and this happened in highschool when I was sillier. We cramed about 12-14 people in an old car. It was a huge one but it was still very cramped and went to the next town 10 miles away for lunch. It was so cramped I rode in the trunck on the way home. This was also in the middle of winter time.
The third time I was driving but we only had 8 people in the car, most of them in the back seat of my 1990 Pontiac 6000LE (see avitar). In each one of the situations we were just fine and dandy.
Looking back it might have been silly but I'll always remember those times. It was fun for us all. If it continues to happen and the van is broke or sold or something else, then maybe you could pitch in and help out.
1 person likes this
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
4 Jan 07
And what if you stepped outside today and got hit by a bus? Or what if someone were to brake into your hose and shoot you, or what if you slipped and fell in the shower and broke you neck? There are so many what ifs in this world.
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
5 Jan 07
There are many what if in life but I'm not throwing myself or my kids in front of a train either. My argument is that this pastor didn't take the steps to keep these kids safe and he put them in danger...not to mention the fact that he broke the law.
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
4 Jan 07
It may seem like fun to be crammed into a car but what if there was an accident? You might not be here today to respond to this post. You should think about that.
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
4 Jan 07
My husband and I are the youth group leaders at our church, my husband's dad is the pastor. On Wednesday nights we have a program called Awana. We live in a poor community where many parents don't own cars and can't take them to our church on the outskirts of town.
We have several adult volunteers that pick children up so that the children won't miss out on church activities.
We are very diligent in making sure that when we transport children that their is always a driver over the age of 25 and seatbelts for each passenger. If there are too many kids we let them know that we're running behind and will be back to pick them up.
Safety needs to be an issue for us as parents and for those of us who are in ministry. If we want parents to trust us with their child's spiritual growth, then they also need to be able to trust us with the physical, mental and emotional well-being of their children.
I don't know what your pastor was doing, but I wouldn't be afraid to give him a call. Try to keep your anger in check though... as it won't really help change things.
1 person likes this
@mamashane (1140)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I agree with you and thanks for pointing out some good points that I'll be making when I do speak with the pastor. Anger is not my way to do things, I will be having a calm discussion with him. I'll post how it went!
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
5 Jan 07
it is good that you have checked and did not allow your children to go with them. he could be thinking that they will only have a short trip to the church. i guess its best that you talk with the pastor before we jump into conclusions.
@jajaka_desa (219)
• Indonesia
4 Jan 07
i think what you have to do is,not going to the curch.i mean, its a silly thing,that the childrens seat on the back without seat belt.God !!! thats make me angry too.The church is not right!leave that church!
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
4 Jan 07
This might be a little over the top. I think you need to find answers before you jump to conclusions.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157485)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I am a memeber of a large church, with a large youthgroup. Unfortunately sometimes even people who SHOULD know better, and should uphold the law do not. Rather than speak to the pastor, who may or may not let it slide right by , you should speak to whatever the governing body of the church is. Do it calmly and reasonably, but present the facts. The other people who have responded have brought up the issues, like insurance, legalities, and common sense and overcrowding. Each church and denomination have different local governing boards, so you will have to check with that church. I do not blame you for being mad. If you can haul your own kids, you do know how they are riding. The pastor probably picks kids up to guarrantee regular attendance, but this situation was just plain wrong.
1 person likes this
@Metallion (2227)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I'd be concerned about this pastor, if his need is so great to be around young kids that he would endanger their lives, he might not be someone you want around your kids, he may have some very serious issues.
1 person likes this
@msmamaof2 (367)
• United States
4 Jan 07
No way should you let that go, it's extrememy dangerous. I think I would round up the other kid's parents and discuss it with them. Then choose someone to speak for all of you and confront the pastor!
1 person likes this
@pebbles724 (642)
• United States
4 Jan 07
You should have a talk with the pastor. Just tell him that you were concerned about letting all those children ride in the back of his car with no seatbelts. You might also suggest that if that happens again where for some reason he can't use the van on a Wednesday night that maybe you and the other parents could arrange to transport the children instead.
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I am glad to hear that you kept your children safe at home instead of sending them into that potentially dangerous situation. I am certain that the pastor meant no harm, but I hope that you can talk it out with him and find out what exactly was going on. If he is so kind as to take the kids and bring them home every week, to me that doesn't denote someone who is eager to put kids into danger or cause them harm. I think that he most likely was not thinking or was just so eager to bring everyone to the church that he didn't realize. It really was a bad situation, though, and I'm glad that your kids did not ride in that crowded car.
1 person likes this
