How to stop my gf from smoking?, Her health is is declining... (Advice Wanted)
By sir_hanz
@sir_hanz (29)
Malaysia
January 3, 2007 9:01pm CST
Hi all..Need your advices. My gf dumped me but after 8 months past, she said she missed me so we kind of got back together. During those 8 months, she started smoking. That's because in her line of work (credit card sales) 9 out of 10 female co-workers smoke as well. She got influenced by them. She smokes practically 4-5 sticks a day (that's what she told me). Now she have bad breath plus her health is declining. Once I took her hiking, she kept panting for breath; complaining hard to breath. She wasn't like that. She used to be an ahtlete (100m runner). That normal hike usually takes 1hour but with her, it took me and her 2 and a half hour because she kept resting gasping for air. I told her to stop but she wouldn't. She said she rather leave me. I'm doing this not because of our relationship but a pure concern for her health and well-being. Even if we weren't together, I still wouldn't want to see my friend suffer. We had been together for 2years plus.
It would be a GREAT help if anybody could give some advices or pointers so I could convince her to stop smoking. Thanks a bunch!
Ps: I don't smoke.
4 people like this
52 responses
@deepika_mona (1338)
• India
4 Jan 07
I think u should be with her all time make her feel that u love her very much n take from her some promise such as if u smoke i will go away or not talk with something like that n something what is close to her n she cant live without that thing the make problem of the thing As my bf like to smoke n drink as he love me alot so i gave him my swear n from that day he ask me can i smoke or drink only once n would tell if do so than i will go away n he tell ok sory n this wat i would stop him same way you can also try it out n let me know what the reaction
@shelonewolf1969 (486)
• United States
4 Jan 07
control her physhe ? oh brother
to the next post and you think thats healthy what your sujecting ?
@Sawsen (793)
• United States
4 Jan 07
What I advise you to do is to hide all of her cigs. Also, take her money away from her. And try to get her into a program to quit smoking. You also have to let her see the good side of not smoking and let her meet smokers who have lost a lot due to their smoking.
1 person likes this
@usmcprincess (299)
• United States
4 Jan 07
This is the worst advice you can give him. My husband tried that on me when I was trying to quit but I couldn't and he took my money out of my purse but I would get so pissed I would hide his wallet or his car keys from him until he gave me my stuff back. That is the absolute worst thing to do, besides she can get more money and she will start sneaking around or hiding her own cigs.
1 person likes this
@clmusic (5)
• United States
4 Jan 07
No offense, but that has got to be the worst advice I have ever heard. Hide her cigs? Take her money? He's not her father for crying out loud!! Geesh, yeah, those things would work on a teenager, but not a grown adult. She has to WANT to quit; otherwise, she will just pick it back up. Those thing will only make her mad, I know if someone took my money I'd be super pissed!
I've had people in my family die from smoking related illnesses and you know what? I STILL DIDN'T QUIT! That's right. That stuff does not work when you are consumed with this addiction. I finally decided to quit for a lot of different reasons, my health being one of them (which is still fine after 17 years of smoking) and because it is an expensive habit...the cost keeps going up and up. All in all, I did it for selfish reasons...save money...and be able to breathe. lol
A person has to want to quit....not be pressured into it.
2 people like this
@firemansgirl001 (916)
• United States
4 Jan 07
The best thing is leave her. If she loves you, she will stop. Not to mention if she loves herself. Smoking is a nasty habit, and I am glad I have never. I would never be with someone who does. IT is nasty.
friend or not, let her go.
@clmusic (5)
• United States
4 Jan 07
That's not right. "If she loves you she will stop"?? OH heck no...I've been a smoker and it doesn't matter!! It's an addiction! If she doesn't stop, it doesn't make her feelings for him any less. That's just rediculous. If she quits, it has to be for herself or it won't stick.
Simple as that. Since you have never smoked, you wouldn't understand anything about the withdrawl and the pain and frustration of quitting. I've only been smoke free for a little over 38 hours, but you know, it's people like YOU who make hard for smokers to quit! No one is understanding about the whole process of quitting! It's HARD and it is PHYSICALLY PAINFUL! There are headaches and mood swings. It's terrible! I am making it through it, slowly but surely, and I will make it...because I'm doing it for me, not because some guy wants me to!
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
4 Jan 07
To me it sounds like that either she smokes alot more or have been for longer than she says. These symptoms that she have usually do not occur so early and with "just" 4-5 ciggs a day.
I am smoke free since november 10th and I have been smoking for 13 years. to quit is probably the best thing i have done, but also the hardest.
he thing is that if you don´t want to quit then you won´t so if she´s not motivated there is not much that u can do until she asks for help!
1 person likes this
@Lisa_81 (24)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
i've been smoke free for a year as of dec 16th 2006 cold turkey. it's the hardest thing in the world. i'm sorry to say this but you, her family or anyone can't stop her but herself when the time is right for her. i was a smoker for 10 years, smoking a pack a day and paying 9 dollars a day. and dated non smokers and go outside to smoke for my son's sake and nothing stopped me. hell the gouverment even posted nasty pics of health probs it causes but ppl don't care. it's a bad addiction , worse then heroine. i've come along way but even till this day i get a few cravings but i fight. mind over matter. she'll quit when her time comes that she looks at it and says YUCK
1 person likes this
@usmcprincess (299)
• United States
4 Jan 07
First of all congratulations on not smoking for a year. I just quit about three days ago and it is so hard right now. My husband and I both smoked but I decided to quit. Your girlfriend wont quit until she is ready and let me tell you it is hard. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard for her to quit if she only has 4 or 5 a day but if she wants to smoke it isn't going to matter if you love her or leave her. She is going to have to come a point in her life that either she has to stop for her or she has to stop because of family. If you try to force her or make her feel guilty she will leave.
1 person likes this
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
4 Jan 07
If she's panting that bad, she's smoking more then 4-5 a day. I smoked 2 packs a day, and was still able to run-yeah I was panting, but she's lying. I've recently just quit smoking. Few minor setbacks, but overall doing good. Honestly, you cannot tell her to stop smoking. She has to want to do it on her own. The more you nag her to quit, the more angry she's going to be at you. For me, I got tired of waking up coughing up a bunch of ick, having to use an inhaler for wheezing/asthma, and just overall feeling like crap. I also have 3 kids, and been smoking for about 18 years or so, and I'd like to see them grow older-that's my motivation. She's got to want to do it on her own, and if she's around it all day at work, it's going to be harder for her to do, if not impossible. Sorry, and good luck!!
1 person likes this
@ghost1380 (871)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
i think you cant do anything about it. all you can do is convince her.
wait i got an idea why dont you look for someone who's a lung cancer survivor. let her talk with him or her , maybe she'll stop smoking after that.
1 person likes this
@Persia (151)
• United States
4 Jan 07
You need to give her an ultimatum. If she truly cares for you the way you care for her, then she would at least try to stop smoking for you if she doesn't want to stop for herself. I would look up some groups or centers she could join to stop smoking and then present them to her. Maybe she can try a little bit at a time. Get those patches and gum and just keep them around the house with a little message underneath saying how much you love her and that you want to grow old with her.
1 person likes this
@camille101 (1025)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jan 07
wow, we have the same situation, but on my part it's my husband. I've beentrying to convince him to stop it, he did stop for a year, but after losing his work, he went back again. It's the tension that's driving him smoking. The thing is, it's difficult to asks someone to stop smoking if they themselves doesn't want to.
1 person likes this
@Rishub (51)
• India
4 Jan 07
this is the hard one. I'm pretty much in the same conditon. But years of dinning it into my own head has made me cut back. its the only way - go cold turkey. your mind will test you but its you or the looming fear of all the diseases that come free with a pack of ciggies. show her some gruesome pics of lungs. ( Extreme) its the most effective..
@crooksunny (31)
• India
4 Jan 07
u should say her tht u love her very much and doesnt want to see her in this condition. try to find her some other job where this smoking thing is less.
@myfriendz (1226)
• India
4 Jan 07
some body said smoking kills
so smoking is deadly injourioyus to health .
so one can not quit smoking abruptly
the problem is lessen the work load lessen the burden so it stops smoking automatically
1 person likes this
@thatcrazyqbanita (3312)
• United States
4 Jan 07
have a serious conversation with her and tell her how important and how much it would mean to you if she did stop. work with her together on this, and help her at difficult times
@anurocks (80)
• India
5 Jan 07
weell it depends how obedient your girlfriend is tell her she could lose her beauty and health and site her real life examples that will do.
@bugbaby (1787)
• Indonesia
5 Jan 07
It's very hard to stop someone from smoke if they smoker. The best thing you can do is sit her down once and express your concern for it. Don't nag her, don't give hell, just talk to her sincerely.
tell her to STOP BY CHEWING ON STRAWS,TOOTHBRUSHES,ANYTHING TO KEEP THAT ORAL FIXATION AT BAY.
However, smoking also increases the risk for various other oral diseases, some of which are almost completely exclusive to smokers.
@doncris (637)
• Romania
4 Jan 07
It all hangs in the smoker's will and state of mind. It's practically pointless to tell smokers over and over again about the health risks, because usually, they are aware of them. Still, there is that sense of doing what he/she wants with his/her body. You have to convince her to give up if not for her health, then at least for you or for your relationship.
• Pakistan
4 Jan 07
Dear there are many reasons to smoke but your gf is influenced by her company.
Do the following Things and get amazed by results.
*You have to take away from her current company.
*Change her environment.
*Give her more and more time.
*Take her to exercise either in morning or evening.
*Be assured that she knows how much you care for her.
*Don't stop her from smoking directly as this this irritates the Person.
*Make her very busy.
*Try to search a new job for her.
*Let her know about the consequences of smoking.
As your gf is beginner so it's easy to get rid of her smoking.Dont let her make it a habbit.
Don't think that she will suddenly leaave the smoking.Be patient and decrease the quantity of sticks every week.Make her not to smoke some days.
Do it regularly and let me know about results.
@shelonewolf1969 (486)
• United States
4 Jan 07
He cann't control how much she smokes or were she works or tell her to decrease the amount he does not control her he can not make her not smoke some days .really what kinda relationship do you have with your girl friends ?
@ajainair (2)
• India
4 Jan 07
as for girls it is very simple...they r always ready to take up challenges when it comes to thier guy..as she told she missed you a lot then you keep a bet wit her.just ask her to stop amoking for just 21 days and she would get a surprice gift.as per jepanese mythology when a habit is stopped for 21 days then the person will not be prompted to go back to that habit again.it sounds simple.thats how i stopped my girl friend from smoking.wishing you a good luck...regards ajai
