Random Thought #4 - Abortion

@Ravenladyj (22937)
United States
January 4, 2007 6:40am CST
Pro Choice? Pro Life? Just ignore the issue? Abortion...its a very controversial topic..Pro Choicers feel that women should have the right to decide what happens with their bodies. Pro Lifers on the other hand, feel that the fetus/baby has the right to life. Here's what I think.... "Pro Choice" ~ There was a time, that I was the mother of 3 beautiful living children. My third pregnancy was very difficult and painful both physically and emotionally. It was found very early on that there were complications (my placenta was separating). If I stood or walked for too long the more it would tear (separate)and each time there was more blood and the pain was more intense. The further into my pregnancy the worse it got. Since my husband was working in the States and we were still living in Canada, it was my oldest (who was 5 at the time) who helped me whenever I was having an "episode"....thats ALOT for a 5 yr old...End result, my son was born 3 months premature. After a hellish 5 mths in the hospital, we finally get him home for a short time, he got sick and wound up back in the hospital. Before this however we found out I was pregnant again...After much discussion we decided we were going to have the baby because according to the doctors our youngest was improving amazingly...2 weeks later our son died unexpectedly on his way home from a perfect lung check up with his specialist (that is a story all in itself)...it was then that I decided to have an abortion. Believe me it was a VERY difficult decision to make..As a teen I wanted lots of children and that didn't change once I reached adulthood BUT the emotional pain and suffering that my family and I went through during that whole time was VERY harsh. For me to have gone through with the new pregnancy would have been a terrible mistake! So one week before Xmas I had an abortion. Do I regret it? NO! Not in the slightest. I KNOW it was the right decision so I have no regrets or remorse. Some of you may say that is an awful thing to say but you know what?! I think that what we went through was even more awful...those who think that I am a terrible person for saying that or believing what I believe haven't walked in my shoes now have they? I am GLAD I had the choice.. I remember reading a post in an Abortion forum about a 16 y/o girl who was raped and wound up pregnant. As it turns out her parents refused to allow her to have an abortion...(I believe due to religious reasons)..ultimately, the stress of having her attackers child growing inside her was too much and she commited suicide. That is a terrible loss. SHE had the right to life more than the baby IMO. Because she wasn't granted permission to abort, she'll never finish school, she'll never fall in love, marry a wonderful man, have children of her own (ones that she wants not ones that are forced on her), she'll never have the chance to make something of herself etc etc.. I think that is a very sad thing. Drug addicts, alcoholics and women with HIV, rape victims etc should have the choice to abort should they become pregnant.. I find that Pro Lifers will often say that one should go through with the pregnancy then give the baby up for adoption. Sure, this could be an option for some. One of the problems I have with this is the fact that there are already 100's of infants, children and young teens still waiting to be adopted. They are already here! Yet the impression I get is that Pro Lifers don't seem to care about them, they would rather encourge women with unwanted pregnancies to bring even more babies into the world to be cared for by the government, waiting in hopes that maybe someone will pick them. Well I am sorry but I think its far more important to find loving homes for the children that are here and still waiting.. any thoughts?
9 responses
@sunshinecup (7881)
4 Jan 07
I am sorry to hear your story, but I thank you for sharing that with us. I know it's not easy and my heart goes to you. The Anti-choice movement, basically turns the women invisible. Their focus is on the fetus alone. So in short, the unborn losses value to the anti-choicers after birth, especially if it is a female. No human being that holds ANY importance for the existing female, can successfully argue to me, the unborn is more important than she is. Sadly, THAT is what they are trying to say. It's ludicrous to even suggest. We women have been perfectly capable of making our own decisions for far to many years. We don't need our choices made for us or our worth lowered simply becaues they choose to. Slavery was done away with in the US along time ago.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
5 Jan 07
"The Anti-choice movement, basically turns the women invisible. Their focus is on the fetus alone" It really does doesnt it..which in all honesty makes it that much harder to make the decision to abort overall but even more so when its absolutely necessary like in a case of the mothers survival for example...I mean just imagine how that mother would feel if she WANTED the baby, her, her spouse, their other kids/family etc are happy about the pregnancy then they find out that something went wrong and she has to terminate or she wont survive the preg or maybe the birth....that in itself is tragic but then to have to go to the clinic for the procedure and walk past the picketers who are calling her a murderer etc etc (not knowing her story no less)...I just couldnt imagine how horrific that would feel.....
• United States
4 Jan 07
First I would like to offer my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your son. I would have to say that I am Pro Choice. I think it is very important that every woman feel as though they have options. I don't know if I would ever make the choice myself, I was a mom at 18 and very lucky that my now husband stuck around (it seems that so many don't). I think if a person is Pro Life and they really want a woman to have a child they should offer to pay for the pregnancy and to adopt the child themselves and take on the expense of raising the child. It is very easy to stand on the sidelines and cheer or boo a person, but when push comes to shove it is a very difficult thing to stand in their shoes and actually know why they have made the decisions they have.
@forfein (2508)
4 Jan 07
The woman should have the right to choose! If she is married, and the baby is a "Mistake" then BOTH parents should have a say in the abortion. If they are not married, but living together, same thing. Girls under 16 should have EXPERT advice
• United States
5 Jan 07
Again, this one is crazy too. My husband didn't almost die gestating our twins, I did. I, the person who will possibly be in harms way during a pregnancy should be the ONLY person to decide if I am willing to gestate or terminiate. Period.
@nuffsed (1274)
4 Jan 07
As a male, I have to think that perhaps it is easier for me to rationalise the situation than it may be for a woman. It is a fierce dilema that causes great divisions in society, so I have made my mind up in what is to me a perhaps heartless but logical way. Until the foetus is born, it is a foetus, a potential baby, but not yet a baby. We talk about the miracle of birth, yet anti-abortionists deny the uncertainty, the hand of god, they talk of a certain life before the miracle of birth. Not being a religious person, I see no reason to deny the instincts and decisions of a Mother who decides on termination. A Mother, has to judge her own ability to give the child a fair chance or not, she also has to weigh her own survival chances. I have no problem thinking of myself, and humans in general, as animals. Generally, I give us no more status on this Earth than the creatures around us. With that view, I accept that a Mother who's instinct tells her to end the life of offspring is a judgement to respect. When something tells a cat to eat her young, it's usually obvious why. There may be a severe shortage of food in her territory, or the young may have imperfections that give them no chance of reproducing healthily. Whatever. The Mother was given the responsibility of that foetus, let her discharge that responsibility as nature tells her, without undue social pressure. Without Biblical interference too.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Damn! very nicely put and so true...yet I'd never looked at it that way before (natural instinct) but hindsight is 20/20 and looking back to my abortion it really does ring true...
• India
5 Jan 07
Abortion is very thinking topic.Because womens have the right choice in our decition.After abortion the bodies is very weak and feel very tiedness.
@jfeets726 (775)
• United States
5 Jan 07
I am pro choice and I always have been, ever since I learned what aboration was. A few years ago, I unexpectly got pregnant. Being pro choice, a lot of my friends and my family assumed that I would have an abortion. In fact, a few of my friends had one. In the end, I couldn't do it. I am lucky though because her father and I have stayed together and we are doing great. Although I choose to have my daughter, I am still pro choice. I feel that it is a woman's right to decide.
• United States
5 Jan 07
I think that it should be the womans choice. I dont think anyone should tell you that you cant have an abortion. I was with an abusive man that used to beat the crap out of me. If I were to have had his child, I would be stuck tied to him forever. I luckily had an abortion. I dont regret it. I think that it should be my choice. There are way too many kids in foster care and in the system, why add more.
@marciascott (25554)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Wow! I had an abortion, when i was young I had three children The last one I had. I got pregnant maybe 6 wks. later. I didn't want to do it but I had to do it for medical issues.
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
I understand the situation. I commiserate with you for what you have undergone. God gives us wisdom and freedom to choose. I have started a topic entitled The Bible on Birth Control for information purposes for anybody to know what God did and want to be done. Anybody who wants to know may pls go to my Profile and open the topic on such subject matter. May God bless you. SEN