cheating

United States
January 5, 2007 8:04am CST
Is it considered cheating if you are talking to someone other then your boyfriend or girlfriend on the internet. I have been chatting with this guy on yahoo, who is in iraq and my boyfriend does'nt know about it but were not doing anything wrong really, i mean he is in iraq. Would you consider that cheating?
6 responses
@em12ma (396)
• United States
5 Jan 07
That would depend on what kind of conversation you are having with that other person. If you're having kinky, emotionally charged kind of conversation, or any sensitive topic you would consider talking behind your boyfriend's back then that might be somehow considered "emotional cheating". But still, for me, as long as you don't get any physical involvement, then it's not considered "cheating". Some people may not agree but to consider one's action as cheating then both emotional and physical involvement should be present. Since you are "just talking" as you said, then it may not be, but whatch yourself because it may trigger off the start of you eventually cheating on your boyfriend.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thanks for the advice, some of are talking is emotinally charged and it's pretty safe to say we might like each other and we have exchanged addresses so i could send him stuff in iraq and i havent told my boyfriend about that, i agree with you about it not being cheating without something physical happening but i have to admit i'm starting to feel a little guilty.
@maio19 (81)
• Thailand
5 Jan 07
I definitely agree with this one. Also if this is really just pure friendship then why not consider telling it to your boyfriend? Because sometimes when we are hiding something from our partner even though we are not really doing something bad, it sometimes leads us to feeling guilty.
@em12ma (396)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Yes, irishchick, I already suspected that you are already feeling guilty about it, otherwise you wouldn't bring up this topic for discussion. Though you did not exactly disclose what emotional level of involvement you are having with this guy (is he an american based in iraq or an iraqi?), it looks like you are beginning to get "involved". This may be temporary but it may also go along way down the road. Since you are still single, you are still entitled to anything you want as long as you are not hurting anyone, particularly your boyfriend. Give yourself time to get to know what is you really want out of your relationship with your boyfriend and with your relationship with your new found friend in iraq because you are the only one who can decide on that matter. Whatever you decide, I hope you don't lose your self-dignity and self-respect by going the wrong way.
• United States
14 Dec 08
Are you kidding me? No seriously, this has to be a joke. Your allowed to talk to males. If your boyfriend says you can't, he's an emotionally shallow human and he doesn't think he stands a chance if he was next to another guy and you had to choose. If you two like each other just a little bit, he should be fine with letting you talk to guys. This is ridiculous.
@PinchMe (194)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
Personally I think it is fine to continue doing what you are doing. So long as you have 'no intenet' to follow up on any promises to meet. He is in another country, very far away. I think exchanging addresses is not a wise thing to do, (no insult intended)because you are leading on the person you chat with. Keeping this a secret does not bode well if your boyfriend finds out. Especially if the guy on the internet decides to visit the country and surprise you by turning up at your door one day. Touching, kissing, secret meetings or not so secret intimate meetings, is cheating to me.
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
as far as u dont flirt its ok
• India
6 Jan 07
See Irishchic (if the same is ur name) All that matters in love is faith If u have this you have all and if you dont then you have nothing So i think that you must frankly tell your boyfriend about this. To have faith because if he will come to know from anyone else he will get a bad impression of yours which is really harmful in love relation. And if you are not wrong then whats the fear
• India
5 Jan 07
i dont consider talking to some is cheating .u cant be confined to ur girl or boy friend ,life is too big n these sites r made to bring people closer .suppose someones boyfirend is busy so did his girlfriend do .did she shut her mouth and sit in corner of house waiting her boyfriend to be free.no i dont suppose that .everyone has right to do what ever comes in her mind.n by talking u r globlizing urself.