STARBUCKS! HA! They should call it 4 Bucks!
January 5, 2007 12:40pm CST
If I said to you, "I have a great idea for a business. I'll open a whole new type of coffee shop. Instead of charging 60 cents for coffee, I'll charge $2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and $5.50. Not only that, I'll have no tables, no chairs, no water, no free refills, no waiters, no busboys, serve it in cardboard cups, and have the customer clean it up for 20 minutes after they're finished." Would you say to me, "That's the greatest idea for a business I ever heard! We can open a chain of these all over the world!" No, you would put me right into a sanitarium. And it's burnt coffee! It's burnt coffee at Starbuck's, be honest about it. If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you call a cop. You say, "It's the bottom of the pot. I don't drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it's burnt at Starbuck's, they say, "Oh, it's a special roast. It's a special bean from Ethiopia ." The bean is in your head!!! I know burnt!!! You want coffee in a coffee shop, that's 60 cents. But at Starbuck's, if it's Cafe Latte: $3.50. Cafe Creamier: $4.50. Cafe Suisse: $9.50. For each French word, another four dollars. Why does a little cream in coffee make it worth $3.50? Go into any coffee shop; they'll give you all the cream you want until you're blue in the face. 40 million people are walking around in coffee shops with pitchers of cream: "Here's all the cream you want!" And it's still 60 cents. You know why? Because it's called "coffee." You want cinnamon in your coffee? Ask for cinnamon in a coffee shop; they'll give you all the cinnamon you want. Do they ask you for more money because it's cinnamon? It's the same price for cinnamon in your coffee as for coffee without cinnamon - 60 cents, that's it. But not in Starbucks. Over there, it's Cinnamonnier - $9.50. You want a refill in a regular coffee shop; they'll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead. You can come in when you're 27 and keep drinking coffee until you're 98, and they'll start begging you: "Here, You want more coffee?" Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks? A refill is a dollar fifty, two refills, $4.50. Three refills, $19.50. So, for four cups of coffee - $35.00. And there're no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they have these high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven't been on a chair that high since you were two. Seventy-three year old Jews are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around one little table, and everybody's saying, "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me..." Then they can't get off the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles, "Mister, could you get me off this?" Am I exaggerating? Then there's a sign that says "please clean it up when you're finished". They don't give you a waiter or a busboy. Now you've become the janitor. Now you have to start cleaning up the place. Old Jews are walking around Cleaning up Starbuck's. "Oh, he's got dirt too? Wait, I'll clean this up." They clean up the place for an hour and a half. Starbuck's can only get away with it because they have French titles for everything,%$#%^&*.
5 Jan 07
I agree with you 100 %!! I hate the taste of starbucks coffee!! IT doesnt even taste burned, it tastes sour to me. And have you ever visited 7-11 coffee section? You can make yourself anything there that you could get at starbucks, for under 2 dollars. They have EVERYTHING there!!
• United States
5 Jan 07
Funny but true!! My husband loves coffee and loves to try all the different flavors, but he'll put me in the poor house if he went to Starbuck. My husband loves to go to the gas station down the street from us so he can see how many different coffee flavors they have. He'll come home and say--baby, guess what? They have Special fire roasted white cherry/vanilla coffee with a hint of ginger and sprinkle of cayanne pepper flavored coffee featured today. Of course I'm exaggerating but he'll by pass a Starbucks on principle alone. Great post!