Why do people think you have to "fit in" to a certain mold?

United States
January 6, 2007 4:33pm CST
Why do you think it is that people are so quick to judge others? If you don't do and act and perform like a "normal" person you're considered an outcast, different and like it or not "wrong" by most. Why do you think this is? Why can't people just except the differences in the way of your life and move on?
3 people like this
16 responses
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
6 Jan 07
That is a really good question. I wish that people weren't so quick to judge. It is really hard being judged simply by your appearance, and some people won't even befriend you just on sight alone! I don't understand people like this. Also, what is normal, anyway? If everyone were the same, this would be a very boring planet indeed! *laugh* I think that the world would be a much better place if we all learned to be more accepting, tolerant and open minded. ^_^
• United States
6 Jan 07
Couldn't agree more!!!!!!!
2 people like this
@mikaghi (389)
• United States
7 Jan 07
it irritates me too. i hate to confirm to a mold set by familt or society and want to follow my own judgements. but then i have to agree that sometimes i have to accept some norms, for my own benefit.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
If we could all realize how wonderful it is to be unique. Sure, some similarities are great amongst us, but for the most part what makes the person so interesting is that they aren't YOU! I have a feeling that's what paradise will be for us, and what a great way to live.
@nuffsed (1274)
7 Jan 07
well for me it used to be a struggle to appear to be like other folks... Now I just don't care... I accepted my transvesticism and have been free ever since. And I could not have expected such a positive and happy result!! I just hope I can encourage a few more shy and shamed out of the closet. Or at least help them with their relationships and presentation.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I'm glad you feel comfort in being you.
@wesker311 (510)
• Philippines
7 Jan 07
very good topic indeed! when i was in high school thats when i started to observe a certain friend of mine that she tried so hard to 'fit in' to her cousin's group of friends because they were so popular those days! i thought maybe she wanted so much to fit in to that group to have more confidence for herself! i have alot of friends and we still have communication even though we were apart for 7 years now but i never ever tried to change myself just to "FIT IN" and they all love me just the way I am!
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
Sadly though, while it can be worse in high school... I don't think we ever reach a point where people don't think like this. It's amazing to me.
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
7 Jan 07
Personally, I love all the diversity in the world, if everyone acted the same way etc, it would be quite boring. I think a lot of it is down to ignorance, eg some people see someone with a lot of tattoos and instantly think trouble maker. I think there will always be people who will never accept people who are different and all i can say is that i feel sorry for them cos they're missing out..:)
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I agree... a lot of 'hatred' stems from ignorance of those you hate. It's amazing if we would talk to those we feel we dislike, how quickly we find how much we think alike!
@feralcat (426)
• Canada
7 Jan 07
Society is so bent on reform that anyone who marches to his or her own drummer is considered deviant. I like my twisted sense of humor and the way I am and would not change for anyone. Each of us was given a life to live; we were not created as objects to conform to a society which personally I think is corrupt in many ways. I think I'll stick to my character and personality rather then conform to someone else's way of thinking, walking, living. :) BTW Great discussion
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I'm glad you're sticking to being you! I agree. I don't think ever in my life I've been "one of them" and I'm just as glad! I'm not so sure being one of them is what anyone should be! Be your own person and you will live a happy life.
• United States
6 Jan 07
People expect other to be like them and if they are not - some think it is weird. The only way that is going to change it to except - no, embrase people who are not like you. It is not going to happen over night, but if you start it will happen eventually!!
2 people like this
• United States
6 Jan 07
You would think by this point in time we'd be able to be so much less judgemental. We've been on this earth for a long time. Sheesh! I guess I just will never understand why everyone even would want everyone else to be the same. I love the differences. What is different from me I can be taught about, it doesn't mean I agree or like or will change to that way but I respect the right of others to make their own choices! I guess you're right, people just think you're 'weird' if you're not one of them.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I know that when I was younger, I certainly did not feel that I fitted in. Kids made fun of me when I was younger because I am half chinese and they were all white so maybe the fit in idea has to do with race, color, religion or any other type. I wish people could accept people for who they are and not what they are. The fit in idea could also pertain to a persons occupation or education background.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Jan 07
I hear you! What kills me is, there are so many of us that claim we do accept for what they are but yet we experience so many that simply don't! I know I've raised my kids to be this way but yet I also know they've been influenced, actually my one daughter is the only one I've seen it happen with, by their peers. Can it really be that there are more of their 'peers' that are unaccepting? I'm just so often taken aback when I see the total lack of acceptance in "different"!
2 people like this
@Metallion (2229)
• United States
7 Jan 07
I think it depends on your age, if you are in school some rebellion and failure to conform are expected. But if you are in the workplace a lot of times failing to conform can cost you promotions and raises.
2 people like this
• Canada
7 Jan 07
People are quick to judge others because they are ignorant and stubborn. At least that's what i think. A normal person can be defined in so many ways. For some people being a normal person is acting 'all that'. Some people think that acting normal is acting like you always act, If you introduced yourself as a jock expect to be treated 'normaly' as a jock. People consider others different either because they are jealous or for some other personal reason. This is happening because alot of people are well... Let's say they only think about themselves and their reputation, to keep their rep. they call others outcasts and such.
2 people like this
@Lady_Vincy (1540)
• United States
7 Jan 07
People believe they have to fin in so they are not out of the ordinary. Nobody wahts to be an outcaste.
2 people like this
@sahergul (774)
• Pakistan
7 Jan 07
well, its a big delima
2 people like this
@ILANEDRI (1922)
• Israel
7 Jan 07
I guess it's in our nature to judge someone that doesn't look like us and before getting to know him. There is no a good explanation to this. We just can't except the diffrent from us. Only people that looks like us, dress like us, talk like us. But i'm sure there is some people that don't judge too quick.
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
7 Jan 07
in order to organise information, unfortunately, human beings like to generalise, it saves all that messing about with things like individuality. Normality makes us all feel good, if we see someone or something that stands outside our concept of normality we condemn it because it challenges our notion of organisation and normality. If we accept diversity and differentiation it may be that we ourselves may have got something wrong, this is a very hard thing to accept as it suggests change may be needed and as a species we dont like change it represents failure and that is a blow to the ego. To accept difference means that we are not rigid in our thinking, but such fluidity dictates that we should have maturity, i like to call it joined up thinking
2 people like this
@inked4life (4227)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Great question...people for the most part behave like sheep and just follow along with the rest of the pack. I love meeting people who break that mold. I myself catch a lot of flak for being different (lots of tattoos, earring, diverse musical tastes), but am usually able to just shrug it off. I try really hard to teach my kids to try and be individuals, leaders not followers and, most important of all, not be judgmental of other based on color, creed, ethnicity, or appearance.
• United States
7 Jan 07
the answer is really simple. PEople believe their way is right, and not everybody does the same things or has the same interests as everybody else. If we all were the same and had the same interests then the world would be a pretty boring place.