Does getting even produce real satisfaction?
January 6, 2007 7:42pm CST
When I was young, a friend whom I confided my secrets to, started telling other people about it. I was so hurt that I started telling all his friends about some of his secrets too and worse, made up some lies to really make him look bad. I succeeded, he became a laughing stock. One day I saw this friend of mine, sitting in his car and was really in tears, he looked at me and asked "how could you"I didn't answer back but deep down I had a feeling of regret. Is the desire to get even always wrong or depending on the circumstances?
8 Jan 07
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. The word jealousy stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), and from the Greek word for "ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast"). Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been reported in every culture and in many forms where researchers have looked.    It has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and in adults over 65 years old.     It has been an enduring topic of interest for scientists, artists, and theologians. Psychologists have proposed several models of the processes underlying jealousy and have identified individual differences that influence the expression of jealousy. Sociologists have demonstrated that cultural beliefs and values play an important role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. Biologists have identified factors that may unconsciously influence the expression of jealousy. Artists have explored the theme of jealousy in photographs, paintings, movies, songs, plays, poems, and books. Theologians have offered religious views of jealousy based on the scriptures of their respective faiths. Despite its familiarity, however, people define jealousy in different ways. Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive jealousy itself; and many feel they don't possess effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy. 
7 Jan 07
itz always normal to take revenge when u r in such a situation!but itz wrong!why didn't u ask ur friend why he did so?he must giv u som answers!u would hav been able to solve this situation in a better way by doing so!u should hav made ur friend understand how u trusted him and nw what he did to u!then he would hav understood his mistakes!
7 Jan 07
Yes, I feel you handled this in the wrong way. An eye for an eye, so to speak is not the way of settling things. You would have been better to confront your friend and ask him why he had repeated your secrets when you had trusted him enough to confide in him. That way, you could have settled it amicably and the guy would still be your friend. You hurt him, by adding lies to his secrets and that's not the thing to do to a friend, even if he had betrayed your trust. You should have risen above it and not hurt him in such a way.
7 Jan 07
I totally agree with you. In fact, what I did is still in the back of my mind until now and I have not gotten over it yet after so many years. I don't know where my friend is now after we separated after graduation, I can still see his face in tears. How I wish I can meet him again and say sorry. Maybe he has forgotten the incident, maybe not. But I still feel bad for what I have done.
• United States
7 Jan 07
Getting even is very wrong (in my opinion). I became homeless by someone trying to get even. They got even and I was flushed out onto the streets. It may produce some satisfaction but like you said "deep down felt regret". You will regret it.
4 Jun 07
thats why i keep things for myself, i leared to be discreet..because even if you consider them your freinds, they can still spill out something that you wanted to keep for you self...we dont know when that will happen...right now, i dont get even, it might back fire...there are advantages and disadvatages though...just remember about getting even " what goes around comes around"...good luck!
4 Jun 07
sometimes it's a relief to get even but this is not for a long time because our conscience would always tell us that it's wrong..so it is best for sure if you will just ignore the person.Anyway, time will come that what he did will come his way.