Calling All Divorced Parents

@Bytemi (1553)
United States
January 6, 2007 8:07pm CST
My baby girl is my mircle baby. After 7 mischarriages, I finally got pregnant, I was 3 months along before I even knew it. During those three months I was on a class C medication for kidney failure, I had an MRI, was taking for form of chemo every Monay, Wednesday and Friday, X-Ray and a couple of drinks, basically everything you are not suppose to do, I did (PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I DID NOT KNOW THAT I WAS PREGNANT!) and my marriage was over. I am now a single Mom and I was wondering, how do you treat your ex. Do you try and get along with the other parent? When is it too much? If I spend an hour on the phone with my ex is that too long??? Where is the line!
2 people like this
8 responses
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
7 Jan 07
My kids are 20, 25, and 30. Please try to get along with your ex, for your child's sake. It does make a difference to a child because your child loves both of you. Both parents need to cooperate for the child's sake. If your ex is violent or abusive, well...that complicates things, but you don't say that he is, so I will assume he is not.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
8 Jan 07
He is emotionally abusive and controlling but so far I am the outlet for that part of him and he is fine with our daughter.
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
7 Jan 07
Congratulations on your baby!!!! You didn't mention any adverse effects of your actions from before you knew you were pregnant so I presume she is healthy. Anyway, I am divorced as well and I do TRY to keep the peace with my little girl's father. I find myself biting my tounge a lot. If I brought up everything that he does that I don't like we would definitly not be speaking. I come from parents that divorced and couldn't keep the peace though and want better for my child. I used to think "Gosh, it would be so much easier for everyone if I didn't exist." You are the only one that can decide where the "line" is. For me personally I try to only discuss things that involve my child with him. I only say something negative if I think her safety or emotional well being is at stake. That is just what works for me though. Good luck!!
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Yes my daughter is absolutely perfect no health problems whats so ever. I was very concerned during the pregnancy but she was born 7 pounds 10 oz and she had a full head of hair. :D I too am a child of divorce, my siblings and I call it "divorced child syndrom" we try and treat our ex's like friends for our childern sake and I was just wondering if there was a line, I have beend dating someone for 1 1/2 years and thinks that sometimes that I push it a little far.
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
7 Jan 07
Congratulations on your recent happy event. As for the question of do you try and get on with the other parent? Well yes I did and tried very hard but one can only take so much and there was a final straw which broke this camel's back, so to speak. What you do is entirely up to you, and if you are okay with it, well that is what matters! Good luck and hope it all goes nicely for you!
1 person likes this
@armywifey (883)
• United States
7 Jan 07
It is definitely okay, and the best thing you can do to keep in touch with your ex. Whether you like it or not he is going to be in your life for at least 18 more years and it is better for you daughter if you can have a decent relationship. Staying on friendly terms is the best thing that you can do. Congratulations on you new baby!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
I am nice, but not overly nice to him. We are civil and that is about it. He is a very minipulative person, and will take advantage at any time, so I dont give him too much room. I do get a skin crawlie feeling when we talk. He isnt really someone I would be friends with.
• United States
7 Jan 07
Firstly, congrats on being pregnant!!!! You are right, this baby is definitly a miracle baby. I guess, with all that you had done prior to not knowing you were pregnant wasn't the best, HOWEVER your baby survived all that. That has to show you somethign right? Just keep going to the doctor and getting the tests, eat healthy and take as good care of yourself as possible. Babies are resilient and things will work out. As far as your ex, I am sorry to hear that your marriage did not work. As far as "the line" there really is no definite line. That you have to decide yourself and go with your gut feelings. DO what you feel is right and are comfortable with. good luck!
1 person likes this
@ladybear (128)
• Denmark
7 Jan 07
Congratulations on the baby girl. As a step mom to my husbends two children whom I love I would say try to keep a such relationship so you can be in the same room without killing each other. Belive me there will come times in your childs life where you will have too. It makes everything much easier.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 07
Hey, I am on my second marriage. When there are children involved it is especially important to maintain a good relationship with your ex. Too often you hear of people fighting, talking the other person down, or not having anything to do with one another at all. This is hurtful to the children. Adults need to put their differences aside and think of the children first. I commend you and your ex for maintaining a positive relationship. Huggers to you all.
1 person likes this