3 Cop Story

A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

Oh dear me no wonder the policeman wasn't getting many speeders, maybe the boy was feeling sorry for the people getting booked, and the boy down the road was very smart the drivers must of thought the boys were together and to save the drivers money good on them.

Telephone Poles Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles. At the end of the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had put in the ground. "Fifteen" was the answer. "Not bad, not bad at all," the foreman said. Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in. "Four" was the answer. "Four?" the foreman yelled. "The others did fifteen, and you only did four?" "Yes," replied the leader of the blonde group, "But go look at how much they left sticking out of the ground." the blonde & the cellphone A young man wanted to get his beautiful "blonde" wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cellphone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun,"he says "how do you like your new phone?" She replies: "I just love, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell! But there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?" Plane trip to New York There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket. 'Excuse me' she said 'you only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat.' The blonde was very stubborn and said 'Im blonde and beautiful and I'm going to New York.' So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same. 'Im blonde and beautiful and Im going to new york.' This went on throught 4 other flight attendants. Finally they went to the captain and told him the problem. He said 'I can handle this' and went to talk to her. Hw whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class. All the flight attendatns were shocked and they asked him how he did it. He said 'I told her first class wasn't going to New York.'

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

Gifts One day The Lord spoke to Aadam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Aadam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new oragans for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eave. oamThe other organ I have for you is called a paenis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and 2007 populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to feb give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" The Lord looked upon hum Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time." ** Small Compensation A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own 005 shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on 22 my shirt again. If the wife 21 finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the ba07 rtender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his ok wife feb jan about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds tjawo twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yea nh, he crapped in my pants, too.”

good one! keep up the good work! post more of these they are realy time pass. it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!

Those are very funny. I lthink its good that we can laugh once in a while. Sometimes thats all we need to brighten our day. Thank you for putting these on here and sharing them with us.

TOO FUNNY. Mind if I send this to my brother, the detective or his two sons, both patrol officers.

Pessimist and a dog An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

Thank you, that last one will keep me smiling all week....

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?” She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman, waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.” The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

nice