Marriage and unfaithfulness.

United States
January 7, 2007 8:54am CST
Is there any way to forgive someone for being unfaithful for several years and at least 3 different "women". I have tried to forget the thing and go on with my life and just can't seem to get over it. I would like for 2007 to be a better year.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@tbomb2002 (269)
• United States
7 Jan 07
I know I personally would not be able to forgive someone like that. All trust would be gone, and my heart would be too hurt to continue the relationship. I think it would be healthier to just move on and find someone who would not treat you that way.
• United States
7 Jan 07
Its not really that easy. We have 4 children and our 10th anniversary is coming up. It's been a few years and I don't think he has done anything like that since. He knows that I will leave if I even think he has done it again. I mean take the kids and dissapear. Your advice is good and I thank you for it. I am just trying to find a way to let the hurt go and try to make this work.
• United States
7 Jan 07
You're right, I didn't realize the history between the two of you. Have you tried going to a marriage or couple's counseling? Maybe there is a support group in your area that you could join, sometimes churches can refer you to one that would even be free.
@april444 (1341)
• United States
10 Jan 07
oh I am so sorry you had that experience what a load of bull I cant believe that counslor would do such a thing. I hope you filled some sort of something agaisnt her. I wouldnt even give it a second thought about sueing her for all the damage she created. It is very hard to forgive someone who has hurt you so bad but if you do not forgive it will eat at you like a cancer. If you want to try you may not but go to a therapist who spealizes in abused women. God bless and you are doing the right thing what ever you chose. You have very beautiful children and you are blessed.
@briyut (4)
• United States
8 Jan 07
You will never forget it. It will always be there looming over you. It's just up to you to decide how you deal with it. I have been there...only my husband's affair resulted in a child, so there is no way to forget it. And we still haven't worked things out, but I haven't ruled it out. I think that I could forgive him. But you have to accept the fact that it happened, and you have to choose whether or not you can deal with it and move on. If you want your marriage to work, you have to be able to do that. Staying together isn't easy for a lot of reasons, but one of the hardest parts is the need to punish him. You can't do that. Either you forgive him, or you don't. If you continue to punish and distrust him, then you won't last either way. You will never forget what he did, but you can either see it as the end of the old relationship or the beginning of a new one.
• United States
10 Jan 07
That is very sound advice. I do so want to go on. Our 10th anniversary is coming up the 31st of this month and I really want it to be a new beginning. The move was suppose to be just that but guess I just expected too much. It's just that when anything does'nt look perfect(too long at work,etc.,etc.,etc.) I just help but think he is with someone, even though I know he is trying so hard and he tells me that he is not that stupid anymore. I don't know, its just like an open wound that won't close.
@edigital (2709)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I cannot forget one whom I admired most whether he/she become unfaithful or other like this. As due to many reasons one may become unfaithful and for my behavious can make them unfaithful. However, none is forgetable in this world.
@annieroos (1845)
• United States
10 Jan 07
I don't think there is a true way to forgive someone for being unfaithful, Because i always believe that once a cheater always a cheater.. And it will be hard to trust that person again.. Sorry to hear about this...Hope everything works out for you.. God bless..
@sarah22 (3979)
• United States
5 Feb 07
i hope that for you it is. i would not be able to forgive someone for that, they then have no respect for you let alone themselves. and i cannot understand why people get married or go into a relationship if they still want to be with other's
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Jan 07
if it happen three times ..well you can still forgive and forget but you have to separate from him to move on..coz i think trust is being the great issue here...can you trust somebody who repeatedly do such infedilities?? as for me i wont trust him..but if you still love him that much that you can still be with him despite of all his wrong doings then by all means forget all that happens and start a new life wiht him..thats forgiveness means and forgetting also..