Sugar Coating your Childrens Lives

United States
January 7, 2007 1:46pm CST
I have been reading some discussions and even though I appreciate other peoples opinions I am appalled at how many parents want to sugar coat their childrens lives by taking certain toys away, or not letting them watch certain movies or read certain books. This is ludacris to me. How can you raise your children to think that life is all cookies and candy when its so far from the truth. Opinions?
8 people like this
32 responses
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
7 Jan 07
"This is ludacris to me." HAHA. Funny typo, s'all. I think most kids will already take many tumbles in life, why should their parents expose them to bad things unnecessarily? You can't realy control what your kids will experience in life, but on the other hand, you shouldn't just unleash all of hell's instruments on them. I think a good balance between education and protection is probably the best?
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jan 07
Yes it was funny .. I didn't even notice that I spelled it that way. I was frustrated by what I had read in a discussion... But yeah I know its "ludicrous"
1 person likes this
@angelicEmu (1311)
8 Jan 07
I agree - they're not doing their kids any favours by not preparing them for the real world. It'll just cause problems for those children later in life when they grow up, as they'll have to catch up on learning about reality - that is if they accept that the viewpoint their parents taught them was flawed. I think that often it's a method which parents use - denial of, rather than dealing with, difficult or unpleasant issues. Rather than teaching and instilling important principals in their children, and trusting their children - knowing that they'll make their own mistakes, but knowing that they can trust them to be sensible, and that they do know about the real world. I think those who choose this shielding and putting their kids in a glass bubble method will also end up with their kids not able to come to them with problems, and feeling as though they've failed the parents by not living up to their perfect little ideals, or resenting them for being so out of touch. Reality is always preferable to a fantasy, but some people seem to think themselves and their children are unable to deal with the less pleasant aspects of life.
@droik123 (74)
• India
8 Jan 07
Sugar Coat your kids it makes them believe that the world is a Place to live not suffer.
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
8 Jan 07
yes i couldnt agree more, life has far more terrors for kids than can be shielded by taking toys away. I have seen discussions about taking dolls off kids because the skirts are too short. Better not take the child to a town centre in summer, it will experience short skirts in real life Oh by the way in school some boys might wear short trousers too mmmmmmm best not let them go
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Jan 07
There should be a balance, more or less. There are some things you shouldn't just throw at them so soon, but there are also things that just aren't worth blocking them from seeing, and if they have questions about something, then they're going to find out elsewhere if you don't answer it, so your best bet is just to answer what they ask in an honest, logical way, but a simple enough way that they can understand and comprehend.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
8 Jan 07
What is wrong with taking a toy away from a child that has acted up? Would you rather me spank my child? I don't know what you are trying to state in this discussion. I have always thought it was a good thing to take something away that the child likes then to spank. Spanking doesn't solve anything. My kids are just fine. When I take something away or put them in seperates it works. They always end up telling me what they did wrong and then they correct it. How is taking a toy away from a child sugar coating things? Not trying to start anything, I'm just curious. Not sure if I understand what this discussion was about. Maybe it's me.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Okay. God forgive me for my stupid mistake. I feel like a fool. I am so sorry. I read your discussion, but I took it in the wrong way. I understand now what you mean. Sorry. I'm just not all here today. LOL! Sorry again and please forgive me for jumping into a different direction.
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
8 Jan 07
i can understand that parents don't want their children to be exposed to the horrors of the world, but i think i'll be doing my kids a favour in future as they will know to be careful, and i was allowed watch anything i wanted when i was younger and i turned out perfectly fine...i think!
@nickiy (40)
• United States
8 Jan 07
it really depends on the age of the child...under ten i think you should have some "sugar" on it, but once they get over that you need to start giving it to them straight.....
• United States
8 Jan 07
They way the world is today, if they are socially active in any way, even just going to the mall with their parents, thay are going to be exposed to things that a child,in my opinion, should not have to mentally deal with. It's inevitable. But children look up to people for guidance; their parents family and friends. If we are the ones exposing them to such things, the child will assume it is acceptable because we are allowing it. If we do not allow it, it doesn't mean that we are neccessarily sugar coating their life, just that we don't accept certain things. We know that they will still be exposed, but because we ourselves don't allow it we can discuss it with the children in the light we want it presented in. "Just becase everyone's doing it, doesn't make it right." I am very selective about what my children view on TV, what games they play and even the people they hang out with who will have an influence on their lives. I was a wild kid, and I know that kids will get into enough all by themselves... they certainly don't need their parents to make it easier for them. On the other side of the discussion, I do agree that there are parents who are so completely overprotective of their children, that they never have the opportunity to experience the life a child should have. This is not good either because when the child does have a moment of freedom they will not know in any way how they should behave or react to the things going on around them and this increases the chance of poor decisions. Extremes in either direction are not good. Basically I think we need to guid our children toward what we think is right.. not toward what the world is like.
@finidinwa (497)
• United States
8 Jan 07
WELL I HAVE THESAME IDEA THIS IS LUDARIS TO ME TOO
@kidsrock (64)
• United States
8 Jan 07
As a mother of three I wouldn't say I sugar coat their world. BUT I do only allow them to do age appropriate things. Meaning my 8 and 10 year olds are not allowed to watch rated R movies or play rated R video games. Why? Because they're not intended for their age group they're for 18 and older. A 10 year old is not prepared to deal with some things that are discussed or shown in inappropriate aged material. You wouldn't hand a baby a bag of small toys such as beads or barbie shoes because they are not ready to understand...don't put that in my mouth I can choke on it. So why would you expose an older child to things they are not ready for?
• India
8 Jan 07
life's certainly no candy r cookies....it's like a sugar deprived pill..a bitter one.....sugar coating won't help anyone....let the children learn their own way....let them loose in the garden of life,making sure u have a perimeter of safety for them as an insurance....let them make their own choices n learn from them....it shouldn't be a zoo but a sanctuary where they can explore n yet be preserved.
@bryelee (452)
• United States
8 Jan 07
My children are 6, 4 and almost 3. I do not alkow them to listen to most music on the radio, I try to keep an eye on what tv shows they watch. I feel taht they don't need to hear and see a lot of what is on sicne they are so young. As they get older I will allow them to chose but since they are so young then I do as you call it suger coat things. My children don't think life is cookkies and candy, they are not violent little brats either.
• India
8 Jan 07
i think its stupid to try and keep reality from children.if we try and keep them away from harsh truths now, tomorrow they will grow up to be adults unable to comprehend or react appropriately to situations which are too emotionally challenging. also, we must understand that there is a fine line of difference between innocence and being naive, which fades away as children grow up, but not right way.
@Bev1986 (1427)
• United States
8 Jan 07
I don't sugar coat my children's lives, but I've tried to protect them from growing up too soon. There is no reason, in my opinion, that a child under 13 should be watching a PG 13 movie, for example. The swearing, the innuendos, or whatever are not meant for kids under 13. They grow up way too fast as it is, so why subject them to it before you need to? Let kids be kids. Plain and simple.
@ahsan15 (334)
• India
8 Jan 07
I refuse to sugar coat! I give my thoughts and opinions on what I feel is right and inform them of the obstacles in ones way, but it's up to my children to make their own decissions. I'm there to help them up when they fall and we talk about it. I feel they need to be able to stand on their own two feet. Who's going to do everything for them when I'm gone.
@Ambur25 (1007)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Depending on the age of the child, of course, how do you suggest disciplining them? I mean, many people don't believe in spanking. So if you don't take something that the child values away for bad behavior, how else? Just curious. Lol. Your post kinda sounds like you want to simulate jail time for bad behavior to ready them for the "Real world."
• India
8 Jan 07
i agree to you tat children should be allowed to kno wat the real world is all about but then they should be xposed to this world when they r ready to handle the truth..i.e when they know good from bad...they can understand wat is really gooing on till then i think they should be shielded but after tat let them se and understand and choose!
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
8 Jan 07
we buy mostly educational toys fro grand daughter . and do our best not to let her get hurt but she is so active she just plows ahead with no fear and I think that is a good thing haveing no fear I hope she keeps this up thru life. I can understand on the movies with the foul language that is in them for they pick up words fast enough .
• United States
8 Jan 07
I think it's silly to 'sugar-coat' the world for children...I mean, they ARE going to grow up, right? Otherwise, they'll become adults incapable of caring for themselves or raising children correctly (oh wait, this isn't a discussion about my ex-husband, is it?)